When Heroes Fall - 2

Today we remember the true heroes, our military men and women. In light of the events this week, I don't think we can ever thank them enough for what they do, what they sacrifice, what their families give up for the rest of us.

But I will try.

To any soldier out there, past or present, or their family, that may read this: thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, your mission, should you accept it, go hug a soldier.

Or at least say thanks.

When Heroes Fall

OK, it was bad enough when Andre Agassi admitted that he used crystal meth. I was incredibly disappointed. He was one of the reasons I started watching tennis all those many years ago. I remember the controversy with Wimbledon the first year he played in the 80s and their all-white apparel policy. It was pretty much understood that Andre didn't even own anything white, much less wear it on the tennis court. He was known at that time for playing in bright colors, denim shorts and nothing remotely conventional.

He walked out on the court that day in a long, white, bathrobe-type garment and all white underneath. I can still see him.

He conformed.

So, his image is tarnished now - you remember the Canon commercials he did, Image Is Everything - but I didn't think it could get worse.

Then I read an excerpt from his new book - the autobiography that started it all.

That hair that I loved so much, that long blond spiked mullet that I truly crushed on as a young adult was nothing but a weave.

Fake.

Devastating.

Billy and I had long suspected the Hair Club for Men. When Andre did finally shave his head (strongly resembling the Mr. Clean genie) the hairline made it obvious that his hair had been receding, but I honestly never thought that a hairpiece was involved.

I mean seriously - he was only in his late twenties/early thirties.

Why did he have to tell?

What purpose was served?

This is something I've never understood. Why people, especially those in the public eye, feel the need to open up and spill their deepest and darkest secrets.

I remember a discussion I participated in one time, although I don't remember the context, and the topic was why a person will share information that only ends up hurting someone else. Like an affair. Why tell your spouse you've been having an affair if you've truly ended it and felt remorse and so forth? The only thing that comes from a confession is that the other party ends up feeling horrible.

And they did nothing about which to feel horrible.

They say confession is good for the soul, but I think the soul is the other thing that benefits. Rarely does any good come from laying everything out on the table.

I tried to put a more positive spin on the drug use - it wasn't a performance-enhancing drug. If fact, quite the opposite. He fell to 141st in the rankings and had to start playing qualifying tournaments. He didn't use regularly or for very long, only about a year.

But he lied when caught. I wish that he would have "manned up" and taken his suspension at the time and then put it behind him. Yes, he lied to the officials but he did actually take the right steps, stopped using, and made his way back up to a champion.

But it still hurts.

Of course, this isn't the first time that one of my heroes has disappointed me. Some of the people that I've loved and cared about the most in my life have let me down.

Not being perfect, I know that I've disappointed a lot of people myself. And I'm far from being anyone's "hero".

I do try, though, to go back and remember what it was that I first admired. It takes time, but I try. Andre has done wonderful charity work in Las Vegas with children and he honestly loved all the fans and tried his utmost out on the court - even though in the book he says he hates tennis. You never knew it to watch him play. He made tennis come to life for me and I loved, loved, loved watching him play.

I guess that is the hardest thing to do. To see past the disappointment. To not let the hurt overshadow the good that you've known for so long. That is particularly hard with those we love the most. We sometimes hold our loved ones up so high, on a pedestal taller than the tallest building, that when they fall in our eyes, they fall long and hard. I'm still trying to work past a few.

Which circles me back to my earlier question. If given the opportunity to confess to something we've done, should we? Is it fair to unburden our soul only to place that burden of knowledge on another's shoulders? What purpose is served? Wouldn't we be better people if we somehow dealt with our demons privately?

I guess there just seems to be so much out there right now - David Letterman and his affairs with his staff workers, Makenzie Phillips and the unspeakable things that happened with her father, and so on. Not that either of those two are heroes to me, but still.....

Some things are just better left unsaid.

I mean, I could have died happy some day not ever knowing about the hair.

The Times, They Are A'Changing

We had one trick-or-treater last night.

1

O-n-e.

And I left the light on until 7:30. (The Chief of Police said he thought everyone should be finished by 8).

Our mayor had designated from 5 to 6:30 last night for children to trick-or-treat at the downtown businesses (odd for a Saturday when most were closed, I know) so I thought, living a few blocks from the main downtown streets, that we would have a few.

But we had one. An adorable Spiderman who was probably between 3 and 4 years old. His daddy stood next to him as he peered into my candy bowl. I picked up a bag of Whopppers and asked "Would you also like a Snickers?"

His head bobbed up and down so fast! "Uhhh uhhhh!"

His daddy told him to say Yes ma'am so he did and then turned around to go down the steps to his mom, waving the candy in his hand.

His daddy reminded him to say thank you, and he did.

I came back in the house and was telling Billy about our little visitor and how I remembered my dad keeping a little notebook with tally marks each year to see how many children came by. I guess that was his way of gauging the age of the neighborhood.

(I also remember a lot of funny stories involving a particularly hideous rubber mask that we got at Disney World but that's another post! Daddy got more use out of that mask. It was a man's face with warts and a big nose and it was just awful. I will tell you the funniest thing, though. When we got those masks (I got a Frankenstein, for the record) Mom and Dad put this one on my sister - who was still young enough to be in the stroller - say maybe 3 years old - and people would stop to see the child and do a double-take when this awful face, with two blond ponytails, was staring back at them. They just were expecting to see a sweet child's face and not this "thing". It really was funny. I know I'm not doing it justice.)

Anyway, Billy made the comment that he couldn't believe there still was trick-or-treating with the people have been acting.

And he's right.

After having the wonderfully positive story of Jaycee Duggard being returned to her family 19 years after being kidnapped, we had two more beautiful young girls in a matter of weeks that weren't so lucky.

(And to the person who threw that precious 7 year old girl from Florida in the trash so she'd end up in a landfill......that action was so far beyond reprehensible that I can't find an adjective strong enough. Being a lady precludes me from typing here what I wish would happen to that person.)

It made me stop and think.

We all rolled our clocks back an hour last night. What if we could roll back time about 50 years instead? To a time when families stayed together, you knew your neighbors and they helped you look after your children, church was a common part of everyone's lives, neighborhoods and communities truly existed. To a time when you could spank your child for misbehaving and a "time out" was only in sports. Maybe even back to when you could sleep at night with your doors unlocked. My house is locked up now 24/7 - especially when I'm in it.

I remember when Adam Walsh was taken from the Sears store in Florida - late 70s I think. It was big news because it was a rare occurrence. You really can't say that anymore.

Which is sad.

Like a lot of things, I wonder how we got here.

I'm thinking if we could "fall back" about 50 years then maybe when we "spring forward" we could just skip the 60s this time.

Living a Good Life

I recently attended a service for my late stepfather. It was the first time I'd been in his church since his funeral last summer. It was good to see his family again. Everyone was there. I saw his children and grandchildren, his nieces and nephews, and great-nieces and nephews (not a bratty, snotty-nosed kid in the bunch!) and visited with his brothers and parents.

The point of the service was to present and bless a railing that had been added to the balcony with memorial funds given to the church.

My pictures didn't come out well but let me describe it.









The rail resembles the shape of a suspension bridge, made with wooden posts instead of wire. Only the rail is about 2/3rds of the bridge. A short ascent up to the longest pole and then a sloping down and away to the other side.

The architect explained his vision to my mom. The longest pole represented Dicky and the poles on the ascending side represented all the people Dicky helped before he was a doctor and the long expanse of poles on the descending side are all the people Dicky helped after he became a doctor.

A very nice, simple concept and very fitting.

I thought that day about the last time I'd been there. We'd had a private family funeral in his church, which is fairly small and a public service in a much larger church down the street.

We had to have the public service in a larger church because of all the people that Dicky touched in his life. And that church was full to the rafters. I don't remember seeing too many available seats.

It has made me stop and wonder - am I living a good life? What kind of attendance would my funeral draw? Am I making a difference in the lives of people around me?

My cousin's blog posed a similar question recently - based on a book she had read. I think the focus was a little different, but the concept was the same.

All I can say is that I try. I try to treat people well. I try to help when I can. I try to follow the Golden Rule and do unto others.

I believe in my heart that you do good and right things because it is what you are supposed to do, not because you seek any type of recognition. You do it because you should.

And, ultimately, that is all I can control.

My actions.

How they are perceived by others isn't really something I have much say over.

But I'll never stop trying - to be the best "me" I can be.

What If.....

What if the Founding Fathers could come back and see what a mess we've made of this democracy/republic they developed and entrusted to future generations?

I personally think they would be shocked and appalled.

What if I could create a new system of government? What would I do differently?

I have given this a lot of thought. I have been watching a lot of the Congressional hearings on health care reform.

I am sick of seeing these adults behave like petulant children on an elementary school playground.

No one seems to have an original thought, and, if they do, the other side refuses to listen to it. I was disgusted at watching one hearing in particular. Every time one of the Republican members tried to present an idea for a vote the Democratic chair would cut them off and say "It isn't going to pass, do you still want to vote?"

And I'd be just as angry if the roles were reversed. How dare anyone assume to know how the other committee members will vote. Unless, of course, we've sunk so low that we will only vote along party lines with absolutely no consideration whatsoever of the actual ideas on the table.

Horrible!

These men and women are elected to do a job, which entails actually working, and they are doing no more than playing politics.

So, back to my original question.

What would I do differently if I could revamp the system?

Two words:

TERM LIMITS!

There should be no such thing as a career politician. The members of Congress should be subject to term limits same as the President and a lot of elected officials on lower levels.

Maybe then they'd spend their time in office truly serving their constituents. They wouldn't have time to try and broker deals and so on. They wouldn't be spending their time campaigning for the next term since they would only have a limited time to be there.

Maybe they would do some good.

Especially if they realized that all the policies they were trying to implement would affect them also. They would no longer be protected from the health care system they want to force on the rest of us. They'd actually have to participate in Social Security so maybe they'd pay more attention to making it work and ensuring its longevity. They might change some of the IRA and 401(k) rules if they knew they weren't going to draw their salaries until their deaths at taxpayer expense.

Maybe they would actually do some good, for a change.

Which brings me to my second idea: SECRET BALLOTS

I know that we, the people, should have the right to know how our representatives vote on issues. And that access should be retained. But some of these folks might actually vote their conscience instead of the established party line if everyone else in the room wasn't staring at them.

I know they should do that anyway, but they don't. I've watched both sides just ignore perfectly good topics of discussion for no reason other than it wasn't their party who brought it up.

Pathetic, really.

I know, I live in a fantasy world.

But at least in my world there is order.

My Rock

The greatest gift I have ever received arrived 45 years ago today.

Of course, I didn't get to see this gift until almost 23 years had passed.

Today's Thoughts will be brief.

Billy really doesn't like any attention.

But his birthday is today and I just want to wish him a wonderful day.

I take great pleasure in every minute we spend together and I delight in proving him wrong about one thing. Before we were married he was convinced he would never live to see 30. Some of his lifestyle choices at the time might have actually made that a reality. But I woke him up on his 30th birthday and said "See! You made it!"

He is the reason I get out of bed every day. Just to see what that day will hold for us.

So, congratulations Honey on making it another year. I've got a lot of things planned for you before your next birthday so you'd better rest up while you have the chance.

I love you with all my heart.

Love you more than Life.

Have a wonderful day!

Boys of Summer, Snowed Out

I just couldn't believe last weekend when the baseball game in Denver was postponed on account of snow.

Snow.

There just seems to be something wrong with that picture.

Baseball is supposed to be a summer sport. Summer to me is that time frame between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

Then its done.

Simple.

I like baseball, sorta. I really used to love baseball. When Billy and I lived in Kansas City we would often take off work early and go catch a Royals game. Sometimes even a double header. So relaxing and fun and kind of peaceful.

A very nice afternoon.

But after a few players' strikes I put them on "The List".

You see I keep a mental list of things that I think are out of line - actors who get political for example - and then I stop supporting them.

I won't watch movies or television shows if one of the actors has made me mad with their views. (Yes, they are entitled to an opinion but they use their celebrity inappropriately to influence). I won't be flying Delta Airlines after this next trip because they charge for ANY checked bag. (It was Royal Dutch KLM when we bought the tickets but they merged with Delta. And how can you not check at least one bag? Toothpaste won't go through security!)

And I quit giving my hard earned dollars to a bunch of grown men playing a game for a living and having the nerve to complain about it.

Harsh? Maybe. But that's how I feel.

So when I saw the postponed game my first thought was that they shouldn't be playing this late in the year anyway.

Of course if they play longer than they get slightly closer to earning some of those millions they demand. Earning a million over 8 months is somehow marginally more palatable than earning a million over only 4 months.

Maybe there is an upside to the season.....