Why is it that otherwise intelligent people get goofy when it snows? I was reminded yesterday of a story from my childhood. Arkansas got hit with an ice storm. My mom emails me before 6 AM that the her porch and driveway are slick but she's not sure yet about the roads. She guesses she'll try out her four wheel drive because she has to get her hair done. A hair appointment. Hardly worth the risk of getting out on the ice - in my opinion. (I was informed that it was more involved than just a cut and style).
Took me back a number of years. Any time that it snowed and school was out both my parents were home. All it took was for the newscast to say "Don't get out on the roads unless you absolutely have to" and both my parents would immediately go get in the car and take off. One time they got as far as our neighborhood park (basically around the corner) and had to CRAWL back home on their hands and knees when the car got stuck and it was too slick to walk. I was a teenager at the time so I was old enough to be mortified. I will say that when I was very young - and not old enough to know better - we used to have a big time. We'd go up to the mall parking lot an do donuts in the snow. Only we called them cutting hookers. My parents were/are reasonably smart people but snow was the big weakness. Go figure.
I've also been wondering what George Bush did on the morning of January 21, 2009. I mean think about it - you've spent 8 years with a full staff catering to your every need, daily meetings on all kinds of world issues, phone calls with heads of state, fancy dinners. And then, in less than 24 hours, nothing. You're back to being an ordinary citizen - granted, with not so ordinary bodyguards - with no agenda, no press conference, no briefings. Just your morning coffee and a newspaper and nothing but time in front of you. What would you do? Where would you start? Its like the old saying - Nowhere to go and all day to get there. And Mrs. Bush? If I were her I would have just rolled over for a while, happy to have my privacy back.
This time of year, as I face 60+ hour work weeks, I wonder why I still do this job year after year. After I play tennis for a couple of hours I wonder several things - first Why? and secondly Why didn't we have at least one kid so I wouldn't have to keep picking up the balls all over the court?
But, an inquisitive mind is a healthy mind. I heard that somewhere recently. Maybe my Harry Potter game? I'm too tired to remember for sure.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Customer Service, or the Lack Thereof
Customer service is a dying art.
There's an entire generation of young people who have no idea what a full service gas station is. You remember those - someone else pumped your gas, washed your windshield and checked your oil while you stayed in the car. Now, we rarely even see a human at the gas station. We pay at the pump. But, if we do have to go into the station for some reason we're likely to be growled at or ignored or made to feel as if serving us - the customer - is an inconvenience.
Personally, we no longer frequent several stores in our town because of the lack of customer service. We drive to another town to shop or make multiple stops instead of going to the big discount store. And before you say another word, yes, management knows. My husband actually called the corporate headquarters and let them know what our issues were with our local store. The store manager called and told us our concerns would be addressed at the next staff meeting. That was over two years ago. Maybe they've changed but we just haven't gone back.
I did receive some excellent customer service over Christmas. In fairness, I will also let that store manager know about it. I have, unfortunately, lost the two employees' names that helped me. One gave us a discount on an item that had been returned - without us even asking - and the other directed me to another store that sold the power cord I was looking for. A lot of people, knowing they couldn't sell me anything, would have moved on to the next commission. I appreciated both their efforts to actually help me, not just sell me something.
You have to wonder what is going on. How did we get to this point? And where do we go from here? I think my husband hit on a key factor. People are no longer afraid of losing their jobs. They'll find some way to participate in the myriad social programs offered in the United States, or sue the company for wrongful termination. They'll flip the picture somehow to become a victim. In a very real sense they have nothing to lose and no incentive to do better.
This current trend knows no bounds. Not gender nor race nor age. It's sad, really. We work so hard to earn our money but get so little pleasure when we're trying to give it away. At some point the stores stopped working for the customers. We're just another face coming in to interrupt their day. I guess that's why I feel so compelled to let someone know when I do get good service. I want them to know that it is appreciated. Might stem the downward trend for a little while - at least for that person.
There's an entire generation of young people who have no idea what a full service gas station is. You remember those - someone else pumped your gas, washed your windshield and checked your oil while you stayed in the car. Now, we rarely even see a human at the gas station. We pay at the pump. But, if we do have to go into the station for some reason we're likely to be growled at or ignored or made to feel as if serving us - the customer - is an inconvenience.
Personally, we no longer frequent several stores in our town because of the lack of customer service. We drive to another town to shop or make multiple stops instead of going to the big discount store. And before you say another word, yes, management knows. My husband actually called the corporate headquarters and let them know what our issues were with our local store. The store manager called and told us our concerns would be addressed at the next staff meeting. That was over two years ago. Maybe they've changed but we just haven't gone back.
I did receive some excellent customer service over Christmas. In fairness, I will also let that store manager know about it. I have, unfortunately, lost the two employees' names that helped me. One gave us a discount on an item that had been returned - without us even asking - and the other directed me to another store that sold the power cord I was looking for. A lot of people, knowing they couldn't sell me anything, would have moved on to the next commission. I appreciated both their efforts to actually help me, not just sell me something.
You have to wonder what is going on. How did we get to this point? And where do we go from here? I think my husband hit on a key factor. People are no longer afraid of losing their jobs. They'll find some way to participate in the myriad social programs offered in the United States, or sue the company for wrongful termination. They'll flip the picture somehow to become a victim. In a very real sense they have nothing to lose and no incentive to do better.
This current trend knows no bounds. Not gender nor race nor age. It's sad, really. We work so hard to earn our money but get so little pleasure when we're trying to give it away. At some point the stores stopped working for the customers. We're just another face coming in to interrupt their day. I guess that's why I feel so compelled to let someone know when I do get good service. I want them to know that it is appreciated. Might stem the downward trend for a little while - at least for that person.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Whatever happened to manners?
I've been stewing on this one a couple of days. Who boos an outgoing President? One who kept the terrorists at bay for seven and a half years. How tasteless and tactless. I read Ann Coulter's column this morning and some of this echos her comments.
No one booed Jimmy Carter when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated. I don't have a vivid memory of his administration but I don't remember very many good things.
As much as I detest Bill Clinton, I nor anyone else booed when George W. Bush was inaugurated in his place. I was actually privately doing a dance of joy! I found him to be very embarrassing for this great country that we live in.
Irrespective of what side you voted for, President Barack Obama was duly elected and he will be our leader for the next four years. Get over it. We can all waste a lot of time being negative or we actually become a part of the solution. You know the saying - if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. The problem this country has faced for decades now is that we all refuse to get along. Yes I said refuse.
Cooperation and positiveness are choices we make. Make on a daily basis. If we continue to withhold support for our elected leaders, whether or not we agree with or supported them or even like the color of their suit, we are not going to make the progress that we need to make as a world power. I'll bet there are already plans in place to decide who the Republican candidate will be in four years.
I do not agree with most of President Obama's positions. I think closing Guantanamo Bay will come back to haunt us one day, and in a big way. I think pouring more and more money into a free market system may not be the best idea either. But I am willing to sit back and be proven wrong. I'm willing to not assume that I am definitively correct and he is unequivocally wrong.
I am willing to give the guy a chance and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, then put me on the nominations search committee for the Republican Party. I have a long list of names that I would love to see elected. And if there is a change in the administration four years from now, I may say I told you so, but I won't boo the Obamas on their way out. I was raised better than that.
No one booed Jimmy Carter when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated. I don't have a vivid memory of his administration but I don't remember very many good things.
As much as I detest Bill Clinton, I nor anyone else booed when George W. Bush was inaugurated in his place. I was actually privately doing a dance of joy! I found him to be very embarrassing for this great country that we live in.
Irrespective of what side you voted for, President Barack Obama was duly elected and he will be our leader for the next four years. Get over it. We can all waste a lot of time being negative or we actually become a part of the solution. You know the saying - if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. The problem this country has faced for decades now is that we all refuse to get along. Yes I said refuse.
Cooperation and positiveness are choices we make. Make on a daily basis. If we continue to withhold support for our elected leaders, whether or not we agree with or supported them or even like the color of their suit, we are not going to make the progress that we need to make as a world power. I'll bet there are already plans in place to decide who the Republican candidate will be in four years.
I do not agree with most of President Obama's positions. I think closing Guantanamo Bay will come back to haunt us one day, and in a big way. I think pouring more and more money into a free market system may not be the best idea either. But I am willing to sit back and be proven wrong. I'm willing to not assume that I am definitively correct and he is unequivocally wrong.
I am willing to give the guy a chance and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, then put me on the nominations search committee for the Republican Party. I have a long list of names that I would love to see elected. And if there is a change in the administration four years from now, I may say I told you so, but I won't boo the Obamas on their way out. I was raised better than that.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Back to Business
I will give the new President his day tomorrow. But on Wednesday I will start to expect results. I want the new Congress to work together - for a change. I want the Republicans to support President Obama - unlike the Democrats did for President Bush. I want my elected representatives to actually represent ME. (And don't think they don't know where I stand. I let them know. When the whole bailout package come up I sent strongly worded messages to all the Presidential candidates and my representatives. I'm happy to say my Senators rejected the initial package.)
In other words I would like government to work as it was intended. Making the best decisions for the majority of the people. Not acting like children who don't play well together. I think the term "maverick" was WAY over used in the last election but I agree with the overall notion. Vote your conscience not the party line. Do what you think is best, what you think is right - not what the Monday morning memo says you're supposed to do.
Apparently I also have a dream.
In other words I would like government to work as it was intended. Making the best decisions for the majority of the people. Not acting like children who don't play well together. I think the term "maverick" was WAY over used in the last election but I agree with the overall notion. Vote your conscience not the party line. Do what you think is best, what you think is right - not what the Monday morning memo says you're supposed to do.
Apparently I also have a dream.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Things I Don't Like
This post should probably come with warning but here goes.
Why is it if you tell someone that is a supporter of our President-Elect Obama that you are not a a supporter then you are somehow a racist? Why can't I just oppose him on principle - since his principles are basically where I differ? I didn't call people who supported Bill Clinton rednecks.
I try very hard to leave race out of conversations. I was reading a list of potential board members for a group I belong to and came across an unfamiliar name and asked who she was. I was told she was "dynamic black woman who...". I thought to myself, if someone asks about me am I described as a white woman? Probably not.
I was telling a story over the holidays and talking about someone and giving an accurate picture of this person and was interrupted for someone to say "she was a black lady who...". Completely unnecessary to story to give the skin color. It added nothing to what I was saying.
I would gladly support JC Watts of Oklahoma or Dr. Condolezza Rice for higher office. I have the utmost respect for their abilities and leadership. I might even break my own rule and put a sign in my yard if they were to run.
Its 2009. I just find it hard to believe that we all still have to put a color label on people. I'm not trying to belittle the sense of pride being felt throughout the black community. I get it. There are a lot of women that I think would make a wonderful President and I will burst with pride should any of them get elected. But just because I'm not busting at the seams over this President should not be misconstrued.
I'm a conservative, not a racist. There is a difference.
Why is it if you tell someone that is a supporter of our President-Elect Obama that you are not a a supporter then you are somehow a racist? Why can't I just oppose him on principle - since his principles are basically where I differ? I didn't call people who supported Bill Clinton rednecks.
I try very hard to leave race out of conversations. I was reading a list of potential board members for a group I belong to and came across an unfamiliar name and asked who she was. I was told she was "dynamic black woman who...". I thought to myself, if someone asks about me am I described as a
I was telling a story over the holidays and talking about someone and giving an accurate picture of this person and was interrupted for someone to say "she was a black lady who...". Completely unnecessary to story to give the skin color. It added nothing to what I was saying.
I would gladly support JC Watts of Oklahoma or Dr. Condolezza Rice for higher office. I have the utmost respect for their abilities and leadership. I might even break my own rule and put a sign in my yard if they were to run.
Its 2009. I just find it hard to believe that we all still have to put a color label on people. I'm not trying to belittle the sense of pride being felt throughout the black community. I get it. There are a lot of women that I think would make a wonderful President and I will burst with pride should any of them get elected. But just because I'm not busting at the seams over this President should not be misconstrued.
I'm a conservative, not a racist. There is a difference.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Changing a lifestyle, changing lives
In January 2007 I did a fairly simple thing. We have a community event called HealthQuest each January and I decided to go in 2007. Primarily because for $15 you got your blood work done at the beginning and end of the three month event - tested your glucose, cholesterol, triglycerides. Can't get that at the doctor's office! So I paid my money and took my place in line. Step one, blood pressure. Step two, weight and BMI (note the blood pressure reading is taken BEFORE the weight). Step three, draw blood. Step one, no problem. I'm so far below average that I'm often mistaken for dead. Step two - huge problem.
I was suddenly faced with the fact that having a positive body image is not always a good thing. I absolutely could not believe the number on the scale looking up at me. Now mind you we were using the scales from the local Weight Watchers chapter so these were the real thing. No arguing with them. I walked around in shock for quite a while after that. I had no idea I weighed that much.
I could give a lot of history and reasons as to how I got to that point. But the reality of it all comes back to lifestyle choices. In college I exercised an hour and a half 5 or 6 days a week. Walked around campus and on daily errands so I wouldn't lose my parking spot at the dorm. And I didn't eat great but it wasn't that bad either. Lifestyle choices. All that changed after I graduated and started working in the real world. Then I got married. And I ignored a previously diagnosed insulin condition that eventually got completely out of hand. (Moral of that story - if you decide to get a second medical opinion about a health issue and that opinion is vastly different from the first then go get a third to break the impasse. A very naive 20 year old took the advice that she liked best and was easier and not necessarily the best).
On that day in January 2007 I started changing my lifestyle choices. Part of HealthQuest was weekly meetings where you would learn new exercises or hear dietitians speak or something health-related. Nothing they said was new stuff but I heard it with different ears. I started walking. I ate my meals on a salad plate. I started keeping food logs. At the end of the three months I had lost 12 pounds. I managed to lose another 4 unaided by year's end.
Then I signed up again last year. The program changed some and I couldn't attend the meetings but I did make the Monday morning weigh-ins. It reinvigorated my efforts. I dropped another 30 pounds last year. On my own.
Foolishly I thought I could do this without anyone noticing. Don't know what I was thinking. I'm only 5'1" so gaining and losing 1 or 2 pounds shows. 50 has made me unrecognizable to some people that I don't see often. And I'm very uncomfortable with that aspect. I did not want to draw any attention to myself (save that for the stage) and I really don't like to talk about it. I did it for my health not my appearance. Of all the people that have noticed and commented on the weight loss only 3 have asked if I was sick or lost the weight intentionally before telling me that it looks good.
But I've learned that the comments (compliments) go with the territory. The real plus to those conversations is how many people have started making their own changes. Sort of "if she can do it I can do it" thing. I've been called an inspiration by some. I am directly or indirectly responsible for the increase in Wii sales in this area. (I added a Wii to my exercise for the summer since it is too hot and sticky around here to continue walking to work. Word got out and at least 6 or 7 people I know now have Wiis and use them for exercise.) Hello Nintendo!! A Christmas card would have been nice.
Now there is a little pressure with this. I can't backslide (not that I want to) because I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself, or disappoint. A little pressure is a good thing. I still have about 10 pounds to go. And yes those last stubborn 10 pounds have been the hardest! I know I'll make it. I don't push too hard. I enjoyed the holidays and didn't worry too much. I don't want to go back to where I was but I'm not uncomfortable with where I am now. The most important thing - I did it for me. For my health. For my future. Had nothing to do with how I looked. I thought I looked pretty good. And the person inside the shell is the same at 108 or 180. And if I can help someone else make the same changes for the same right reasons then I'm happy to do so.
Makes you stop and think how many people you might influence in your life. Especially all those that you never know about. You never know who all is watching how you live your life. Talk about pressure.
I was suddenly faced with the fact that having a positive body image is not always a good thing. I absolutely could not believe the number on the scale looking up at me. Now mind you we were using the scales from the local Weight Watchers chapter so these were the real thing. No arguing with them. I walked around in shock for quite a while after that. I had no idea I weighed that much.
I could give a lot of history and reasons as to how I got to that point. But the reality of it all comes back to lifestyle choices. In college I exercised an hour and a half 5 or 6 days a week. Walked around campus and on daily errands so I wouldn't lose my parking spot at the dorm. And I didn't eat great but it wasn't that bad either. Lifestyle choices. All that changed after I graduated and started working in the real world. Then I got married. And I ignored a previously diagnosed insulin condition that eventually got completely out of hand. (Moral of that story - if you decide to get a second medical opinion about a health issue and that opinion is vastly different from the first then go get a third to break the impasse. A very naive 20 year old took the advice that she liked best and was easier and not necessarily the best).
On that day in January 2007 I started changing my lifestyle choices. Part of HealthQuest was weekly meetings where you would learn new exercises or hear dietitians speak or something health-related. Nothing they said was new stuff but I heard it with different ears. I started walking. I ate my meals on a salad plate. I started keeping food logs. At the end of the three months I had lost 12 pounds. I managed to lose another 4 unaided by year's end.
Then I signed up again last year. The program changed some and I couldn't attend the meetings but I did make the Monday morning weigh-ins. It reinvigorated my efforts. I dropped another 30 pounds last year. On my own.
Foolishly I thought I could do this without anyone noticing. Don't know what I was thinking. I'm only 5'1" so gaining and losing 1 or 2 pounds shows. 50 has made me unrecognizable to some people that I don't see often. And I'm very uncomfortable with that aspect. I did not want to draw any attention to myself (save that for the stage) and I really don't like to talk about it. I did it for my health not my appearance. Of all the people that have noticed and commented on the weight loss only 3 have asked if I was sick or lost the weight intentionally before telling me that it looks good.
But I've learned that the comments (compliments) go with the territory. The real plus to those conversations is how many people have started making their own changes. Sort of "if she can do it I can do it" thing. I've been called an inspiration by some. I am directly or indirectly responsible for the increase in Wii sales in this area. (I added a Wii to my exercise for the summer since it is too hot and sticky around here to continue walking to work. Word got out and at least 6 or 7 people I know now have Wiis and use them for exercise.) Hello Nintendo!! A Christmas card would have been nice.
Now there is a little pressure with this. I can't backslide (not that I want to) because I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself, or disappoint. A little pressure is a good thing. I still have about 10 pounds to go. And yes those last stubborn 10 pounds have been the hardest! I know I'll make it. I don't push too hard. I enjoyed the holidays and didn't worry too much. I don't want to go back to where I was but I'm not uncomfortable with where I am now. The most important thing - I did it for me. For my health. For my future. Had nothing to do with how I looked. I thought I looked pretty good. And the person inside the shell is the same at 108 or 180. And if I can help someone else make the same changes for the same right reasons then I'm happy to do so.
Makes you stop and think how many people you might influence in your life. Especially all those that you never know about. You never know who all is watching how you live your life. Talk about pressure.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
My Season
Today sort of starts "my season". What season is that you ask? College football ended last week. The NFL and college basketball have been going on since last fall. No one cares about the NBA. Major league baseball, tennis and even NASCAR are imminent, but haven't started yet.
Awards season. I LOVE the award shows! I will camp out in front of the television at the start of the red carpet arrival shows, even though no one has arrived yet, and watch until the credits roll after the last award is handed out.
In general, I love the arts. Theatre, movies, music, you name it. I love to watch, I love to participate and I love to create. And I get a real kick out of celebrity watching. I think it is, on some level, because they get to earn a living doing what they love and what I wish I could do. I have no desire to be photographed from every angle or my every breath recorded in a magazine. I do not in the least envy their lifestyle, but I do their livelihood. When I'm in a theatre production it is such a rush to go on stage. In my first real role I entered the stage as the curtain opened. Alone on stage. I think the director was very nervous that this novice was going to freeze up and checked with me several times to make sure I was "OK". Never better. I grabbed my tray (I was cast as Della the maid in "Royal Family") and walked out when the phone started ringing and hit my cue. I've loved it ever since.
I have no grand illusions that I'm good at it. But, I don't think I'm too terrible and community theatre is supposed to be about having fun. I've always enjoyed performing. We (my sister, or friends or other relatives and I) would put on shows when I was growing up. One side of my family went caroling on Christmas Eve in my grandparents' neighborhood. Even marching in the band in high school was a kick. I didn't mind the practicing, still don't mind rehearsals, and hearing the crowd cheer or the audience applaud just fills me with pride.
And I have learned that I have not been alone in these pursuits. I have an aunt that acted in theatre productions in college and I have a cousin that sings country music in Nashville. There may be others, I'm just not aware of them yet.
So, today begins my season. As with any other major event (Super Bowl, Daytona 500, World Series, any tennis grand slam event), unless someone is bleeding or dying, its best not to call me after 3 today. I will not be checking emails or text messages. I will not be in.
Awards season. I LOVE the award shows! I will camp out in front of the television at the start of the red carpet arrival shows, even though no one has arrived yet, and watch until the credits roll after the last award is handed out.
In general, I love the arts. Theatre, movies, music, you name it. I love to watch, I love to participate and I love to create. And I get a real kick out of celebrity watching. I think it is, on some level, because they get to earn a living doing what they love and what I wish I could do. I have no desire to be photographed from every angle or my every breath recorded in a magazine. I do not in the least envy their lifestyle, but I do their livelihood. When I'm in a theatre production it is such a rush to go on stage. In my first real role I entered the stage as the curtain opened. Alone on stage. I think the director was very nervous that this novice was going to freeze up and checked with me several times to make sure I was "OK". Never better. I grabbed my tray (I was cast as Della the maid in "Royal Family") and walked out when the phone started ringing and hit my cue. I've loved it ever since.
I have no grand illusions that I'm good at it. But, I don't think I'm too terrible and community theatre is supposed to be about having fun. I've always enjoyed performing. We (my sister, or friends or other relatives and I) would put on shows when I was growing up. One side of my family went caroling on Christmas Eve in my grandparents' neighborhood. Even marching in the band in high school was a kick. I didn't mind the practicing, still don't mind rehearsals, and hearing the crowd cheer or the audience applaud just fills me with pride.
And I have learned that I have not been alone in these pursuits. I have an aunt that acted in theatre productions in college and I have a cousin that sings country music in Nashville. There may be others, I'm just not aware of them yet.
So, today begins my season. As with any other major event (Super Bowl, Daytona 500, World Series, any tennis grand slam event), unless someone is bleeding or dying, its best not to call me after 3 today. I will not be checking emails or text messages. I will not be in.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Guardian Angels
I believe in spirits. I have seen them. I have smelled them. I have felt them. And I actually take great comfort in knowing they are there.
I realize that a lot of people don't believe, for religious reasons or just as a skeptic, but I think that believing in spirits is just an extension of believing in life after death. What is the point of believing that we'll go to Heaven some day if all we're going to do is sit around? There's work to be done! Yes, I believe that God is omnipotent and could do all the work himself, but why should He? Why not put all those spirits to work?
I had the privilege one time to wake up one morning only to see my grandfather and cousin standing at the foot of the bed. Just as solid and real as if they were actually there. This was 1995 and my cousin had died in 1987 and my grandfather the year before. About the time it hit me what I was seeing they disappeared and a very cold breeze blew over me. I'm not sure why they were there, but I know they were. I had other experiences in junior high and high school with situations that couldn't be explained any way other than having a guardian angel.
My dad and I were very close. I had the honor, thanks to my aunt's request/suggestion, to speak at my daddy's funeral. One of the absolute toughest but most rewarding things I have ever done. As I finished I gathered my papers and headed back to my seat. In my ear, just as plain as day was Daddy's voice. "Way to go Bud".
Less than two years later I credit him with helping me in a car accident. I am very aware of how this will sound. I was driving to work one morning, fairly quickly down the interstate. Another car decided it wanted to be in my lane right where I happened to be. I pulled to the left and ended up hitting a construction retaining wall (I do blame all the salt and sand and ice that line the interstate in Kansas City in February). The car started spinning down the interstate. I had something of an out-of-body experience at that point and from outside the car I could see a huge hand reach down and keep turning the car but it turned while staying in the same lane. I didn't go all over the road. I didn't hit anyone else. I hit the retaining wall several times - the only part of the car that didn't get replaced were the two doors. And I walked away. And without thinking I said "Thank you, Daddy". I just knew.
I guess I just take comfort in knowing that the people I love and helped take care of me while I was growing up are still doing just that - looking out for me an helping me. And, bizarrely I know, I'm actually looking forward to doing the same thing some day (a VERY long time from now I hope!). Helping to look after grand and great-grand nieces and nephews. Watching over the family from a different angle. Being a guardian angel.
In the meantime I'll try not to give my guardian angel too much of a workout.
I realize that a lot of people don't believe, for religious reasons or just as a skeptic, but I think that believing in spirits is just an extension of believing in life after death. What is the point of believing that we'll go to Heaven some day if all we're going to do is sit around? There's work to be done! Yes, I believe that God is omnipotent and could do all the work himself, but why should He? Why not put all those spirits to work?
I had the privilege one time to wake up one morning only to see my grandfather and cousin standing at the foot of the bed. Just as solid and real as if they were actually there. This was 1995 and my cousin had died in 1987 and my grandfather the year before. About the time it hit me what I was seeing they disappeared and a very cold breeze blew over me. I'm not sure why they were there, but I know they were. I had other experiences in junior high and high school with situations that couldn't be explained any way other than having a guardian angel.
My dad and I were very close. I had the honor, thanks to my aunt's request/suggestion, to speak at my daddy's funeral. One of the absolute toughest but most rewarding things I have ever done. As I finished I gathered my papers and headed back to my seat. In my ear, just as plain as day was Daddy's voice. "Way to go Bud".
Less than two years later I credit him with helping me in a car accident. I am very aware of how this will sound. I was driving to work one morning, fairly quickly down the interstate. Another car decided it wanted to be in my lane right where I happened to be. I pulled to the left and ended up hitting a construction retaining wall (I do blame all the salt and sand and ice that line the interstate in Kansas City in February). The car started spinning down the interstate. I had something of an out-of-body experience at that point and from outside the car I could see a huge hand reach down and keep turning the car but it turned while staying in the same lane. I didn't go all over the road. I didn't hit anyone else. I hit the retaining wall several times - the only part of the car that didn't get replaced were the two doors. And I walked away. And without thinking I said "Thank you, Daddy". I just knew.
I guess I just take comfort in knowing that the people I love and helped take care of me while I was growing up are still doing just that - looking out for me an helping me. And, bizarrely I know, I'm actually looking forward to doing the same thing some day (a VERY long time from now I hope!). Helping to look after grand and great-grand nieces and nephews. Watching over the family from a different angle. Being a guardian angel.
In the meantime I'll try not to give my guardian angel too much of a workout.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Puppy Love
We never intended to have a family of 7. I'm not entirely sure that we ever thought past the first one! And while I'm not embarrassed to have such a large family I don't always share the information voluntarily. People will make the rudest comments or give you the strangest looks! As if it is any of their business. I get similar looks and comments when people find out that I don't have any traditional children. One husband, married almost 20 years, no kids. No, I will not change my mind someday. No I don't want to borrow one to see what I'm missing. It is no one's business why my husband chose this lifestyle but some people still feel free to ask the questions or provide an opinion. Believe me, the ship has sailed on the childbearing.
Anyway, as I sit here looking at all 7 quietly sleeping I can tell you that I wouldn't trade one minute of it. And I'd defy anyone who doesn't think I'm their "momma". They certainly think so. Like many children, Sadie wants a hug when she gets up in the morning. At 4:45 this morning I rolled over to see her little face squished up between the bed and my night stand. Tail just a wagging! What better way to start the day! I had another one, Frankie, pressed up against my back - an excellent snuggle buddy. I have two "feet warmers" that take turns during the night. And I get met at the door every day with a tangle of bodies, big an small, trying to get to me and lick my face. No more troubles after that.
All of us were given different talents. Not everyone was meant to be a mom or a dad. Some of us are pretty terrific aunts. The challenge is to find what you do well, and then do it. And do it as well as you possibly can. Go big or go home! My dad always said that's why they made chocolate and vanilla - something for everyone.
For us, there is a big soft spot for puppy dogs. They find us more than we go looking for them. But I think we do it well. We have 7 fairly well-adjusted animals that love us more than life itself. Unconditional love. We deal with the up-all-nights when we're house training or one is sick. We deal with doctors and medications and all that. We just don't have to buy $100 tennis shoes or fund a college education. It works for us.
I just sometimes wish people would exercise the "unconditional" part.
Anyway, as I sit here looking at all 7 quietly sleeping I can tell you that I wouldn't trade one minute of it. And I'd defy anyone who doesn't think I'm their "momma". They certainly think so. Like many children, Sadie wants a hug when she gets up in the morning. At 4:45 this morning I rolled over to see her little face squished up between the bed and my night stand. Tail just a wagging! What better way to start the day! I had another one, Frankie, pressed up against my back - an excellent snuggle buddy. I have two "feet warmers" that take turns during the night. And I get met at the door every day with a tangle of bodies, big an small, trying to get to me and lick my face. No more troubles after that.
All of us were given different talents. Not everyone was meant to be a mom or a dad. Some of us are pretty terrific aunts. The challenge is to find what you do well, and then do it. And do it as well as you possibly can. Go big or go home! My dad always said that's why they made chocolate and vanilla - something for everyone.
For us, there is a big soft spot for puppy dogs. They find us more than we go looking for them. But I think we do it well. We have 7 fairly well-adjusted animals that love us more than life itself. Unconditional love. We deal with the up-all-nights when we're house training or one is sick. We deal with doctors and medications and all that. We just don't have to buy $100 tennis shoes or fund a college education. It works for us.
I just sometimes wish people would exercise the "unconditional" part.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Christmas on the Inside
My husband made sure I noticed earlier today that he had started gathering up some of the Christmas decorations and placing them by the "Christmas closet". He wasn't boxing them up, just getting them to the right place. I let him know that his efforts had not gone unnoticed. And then I asked why. His response - Christmas is over.
But does it have to be? I asked why it couldn't still be Christmas on the inside. I did finally relent and started pulling in the outside garlands and bows. The tree and presents that sit on the front porch. All but the reindeer ears on one of the "sculptures" that sits by the door. They are all tangled up and I'm not sure how to get them off. Then I came back inside and announced there was no move evidence of Christmas on the outside.
But it is still Christmas on the inside. The tree is still up, the table still decorated. More importantly, it is Christmas inside ME. I want to try and keep that feeling a little longer. People really are nicer to each other during December. They hold open doors when your arms are full. Some might even let you take the closer parking slot in the lot if they really have the spirit!
Why don't we keep Christmas inside? How hard is it really? To treat our fellow man with respect; to be kind and helpful? Why do we wait until a designated date to give gifts to those we love, or just those we want to let know we care? (For the record, my husband and I never exchange gifts on designated dates - birthdays, Valentine's, anniversary, Christmas - we do give gifts when we find something the other one would want or need or appreciate - all year long). Why don't we remain Christ-like in mid-March, or late August, or the day after Thanksgiving? If you've ever gone out shopping on Black Friday you know Jesus is not on people's minds. Why not leave the Nativity scene out year round as a reminder?
Maybe the world, or at least our immediate environment, might be just a little nicer, more pleasant place to be. And it can start with us. Someone has to take the first step, be a leader. Try it.
But does it have to be? I asked why it couldn't still be Christmas on the inside. I did finally relent and started pulling in the outside garlands and bows. The tree and presents that sit on the front porch. All but the reindeer ears on one of the "sculptures" that sits by the door. They are all tangled up and I'm not sure how to get them off. Then I came back inside and announced there was no move evidence of Christmas on the outside.
But it is still Christmas on the inside. The tree is still up, the table still decorated. More importantly, it is Christmas inside ME. I want to try and keep that feeling a little longer. People really are nicer to each other during December. They hold open doors when your arms are full. Some might even let you take the closer parking slot in the lot if they really have the spirit!
Why don't we keep Christmas inside? How hard is it really? To treat our fellow man with respect; to be kind and helpful? Why do we wait until a designated date to give gifts to those we love, or just those we want to let know we care? (For the record, my husband and I never exchange gifts on designated dates - birthdays, Valentine's, anniversary, Christmas - we do give gifts when we find something the other one would want or need or appreciate - all year long). Why don't we remain Christ-like in mid-March, or late August, or the day after Thanksgiving? If you've ever gone out shopping on Black Friday you know Jesus is not on people's minds. Why not leave the Nativity scene out year round as a reminder?
Maybe the world, or at least our immediate environment, might be just a little nicer, more pleasant place to be. And it can start with us. Someone has to take the first step, be a leader. Try it.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year, Old Thoughts
I keep a journal. I have since I was about 6 or 7, which was a very long time ago. I no longer write every day. Some nights I fall asleep before I hit the bed, but I do try to chronicle the big events or big emotions in my world, or the world in general.
I always write on New Year's Eve. I reflect on the year just passed. I also set my goals for the new year. Never resolutions - only goals. You can always be working towards a goal where a resolution can be broken immediately. Once broken, few ever look back and start over.
This past year had its share of ups and downs. I lost family members. I watched a friend bury her 21 year old son. I experienced another friend's joy when her daughter and son-in-law were finally able to adopt a child. I saw other family members deteriorate physically and mentally and still others step up to the plate. My family (both sides) added members. I'd call them new babies but my dad always pointed out that "new" is the only way that babies come so it is somewhat redundant. Daddy was a wise old soul in that sense.
This country made history last year in the presidental election. History was going to be made no matter what - either the first black president or first female vice president. Whether or not you agreed with the outcome, it was history in the making and we were all part of it. I thought at the time about my almost 95 year old grandmother. No women or black citizens could even vote when she was born. Think about all the changes she's lived through. And they are good changes. This country is finally approaching, in my opinion, what was intended from the start. Anyone can be nominated for any office in this nation and everyone gets the right to vote. All should have an equal voice in how this country is run. One voice, one vote.
The economy has been better. But it has also been worse. And the people survived when times were hard. And we'll all survive again and come out better on the other side. Sometimes I think we need these reminders of how good we actually have things. Lots of countries haven't even blinked at paying $4 a gallon for gas, and have seen that for years. It pops up on our gas pumps and everyone freaks out. Of course now that it is down to just over a $1 people are still freaking out. We're never happy I guess.
So, 2008 was the best of times and it was the worst of times. As were most of the years before it and as will be the ones to come. The question is always what we do with what we're handed. Make the most of the time you have. Hug your kids (or your pets), love and support your spouse. Treat your parents with respect - even if you don't always think they deserve it. They've been here longer, lived through and seen more than you have. Be kind to the people you run across each day. You have no way of knowing what kind of day they're having and a smile and kind word may be all they need to get through it. Maybe someone will do the same for you when you're having a bad day. Improve yourself. Learn to relax. Do what you need to do to be a better you.
My goals - learn Italian so my husband and I can go there for our 20th anniversary; attend my 25th high school reunion this summer and reconnect with old friends; call my grandmother more often while I still can. Be the best wife, daughter and sister I can be - a challenge while also being the best employee I can be. Try to find that right balance to keep everyone in my universe, including myself, happy.
Happy 2009. I hope it is a wonderful year for you.
I always write on New Year's Eve. I reflect on the year just passed. I also set my goals for the new year. Never resolutions - only goals. You can always be working towards a goal where a resolution can be broken immediately. Once broken, few ever look back and start over.
This past year had its share of ups and downs. I lost family members. I watched a friend bury her 21 year old son. I experienced another friend's joy when her daughter and son-in-law were finally able to adopt a child. I saw other family members deteriorate physically and mentally and still others step up to the plate. My family (both sides) added members. I'd call them new babies but my dad always pointed out that "new" is the only way that babies come so it is somewhat redundant. Daddy was a wise old soul in that sense.
This country made history last year in the presidental election. History was going to be made no matter what - either the first black president or first female vice president. Whether or not you agreed with the outcome, it was history in the making and we were all part of it. I thought at the time about my almost 95 year old grandmother. No women or black citizens could even vote when she was born. Think about all the changes she's lived through. And they are good changes. This country is finally approaching, in my opinion, what was intended from the start. Anyone can be nominated for any office in this nation and everyone gets the right to vote. All should have an equal voice in how this country is run. One voice, one vote.
The economy has been better. But it has also been worse. And the people survived when times were hard. And we'll all survive again and come out better on the other side. Sometimes I think we need these reminders of how good we actually have things. Lots of countries haven't even blinked at paying $4 a gallon for gas, and have seen that for years. It pops up on our gas pumps and everyone freaks out. Of course now that it is down to just over a $1 people are still freaking out. We're never happy I guess.
So, 2008 was the best of times and it was the worst of times. As were most of the years before it and as will be the ones to come. The question is always what we do with what we're handed. Make the most of the time you have. Hug your kids (or your pets), love and support your spouse. Treat your parents with respect - even if you don't always think they deserve it. They've been here longer, lived through and seen more than you have. Be kind to the people you run across each day. You have no way of knowing what kind of day they're having and a smile and kind word may be all they need to get through it. Maybe someone will do the same for you when you're having a bad day. Improve yourself. Learn to relax. Do what you need to do to be a better you.
My goals - learn Italian so my husband and I can go there for our 20th anniversary; attend my 25th high school reunion this summer and reconnect with old friends; call my grandmother more often while I still can. Be the best wife, daughter and sister I can be - a challenge while also being the best employee I can be. Try to find that right balance to keep everyone in my universe, including myself, happy.
Happy 2009. I hope it is a wonderful year for you.
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