One of my partners was going to be traveling up state today to attend a funeral tomorrow of a long time friend and client. He asked if I would make a reservation for him since I'm in a few different rewards programs. Get me a few extra points. The town where the funeral is going to be in not very large and the gentleman who passed had lived there all his life so the hotels there were full. So I gave him the choice of two towns - one on either side, both about the same driving distance. No, he didn't want either of those. Let him think about it, he said. He thinks all night.
So he calls today after he makes the first client stop. Mixing business and personal on this trip since he would be in the area. Told me where he wanted to stay. It was not in either of the two towns I had given him but I made the reservation. Problem was I heard wrong. This town sounded an awful lot like another town. Greenville vs. Greenwood. So I made a second a reservation and cancelled the first one. Called him, told him it was taken care of. Back to work.
Or so I thought.
Phone rings again. He doesn't want to stay there. That's too far away from where he needs to be tomorrow. Doesn't know what he was thinking. He wants to be - you guessed it - in one of the towns I picked for him yesterday. So, I go online to make the third reservation, pick up the phone to cancel the second reservation (the cutoff time was drawing near) and call him back to tell him it was all taken care of. He would have to be me for the night and my "no calls taken during busy season" policy was now extended to him too.
I wonder if I can get double nights for this?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Selfish
The following definition is from Wikipedia: Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others.
It is not my intent to step on anyone's toes with this post. I do not have any children. The reasons behind that are personal, but I can say it is by choice. I believe, for the most part, having or not having children is a choice. Even women who cannot physically bear children can choose to adopt or foster children. (That is where the choice of actually "having" the children can break down because there are factors beyond the individual's control when dealing with our current adoption and foster care systems. I want to clarify that I understand that aspect and this is not intended to extend to that level.)
Anyway. As a person who has chosen to not have children, I have been called selfish. Usually by people that do have children. I truly don't understand that. I'm not sure, by the above definition, who's needs or desires I'm placing above my own. I can say that my mother-in-law desires to be a grandmother, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to become a mother. I suppose there are lots of children in the adoption and foster care systems that desire a permanent home and I would be considered selfish in that environment. I've always looked at it as being the needs and desires of someone with whom I'm actually personally acquainted. But I'll accept that if need be.
I'd like to make an argument that the woman in California, with no job and no father for the children, who just had 8 children to add to her existing family of 6 under the age of 7, 3 of whom have special needs, is the selfish one. She put her desire to have more children above the needs of the ones she had. Every child deserves time with their parents. Deserves to be loved and made to feel special. These older children will be robbed of their childhood as they will inevitably have to help with all the babies. (As a side note, I feel similarly about the family in northwest Arkansas that now has 18 children but at least those pretty much came one at a time and seemed to be the choice of a married couple.)
I will say that I am, by definition, selfish as it turns out that Ms. Suleman receives government assistance. That most likely means my money. My desire to spend my money as I choose should, in my opinion, be placed above her need for it. I was not consulted on her decision to artificially create 8 more lives. She shouldn't be entitled to one penny of my money without my say so.
A wise man once commented that just because you can do something doesn't always mean you should. Being able to bear children does not make you a mother.
Recognizing that you should not be a mother doesn't make you selfish. It means you were able to recognize your limitations and that your talents lied elsewhere. It means you didn't bow to peer pressure or societal conventions. It means you did what was right for you, and ultimately those around you. Taking care of those you love, in whatever capacity, should never be considered selfish.
And if Ms. Suleman truly had the children out of love and for all the right reasons, then I will gladly take back my comment.
It is not my intent to step on anyone's toes with this post. I do not have any children. The reasons behind that are personal, but I can say it is by choice. I believe, for the most part, having or not having children is a choice. Even women who cannot physically bear children can choose to adopt or foster children. (That is where the choice of actually "having" the children can break down because there are factors beyond the individual's control when dealing with our current adoption and foster care systems. I want to clarify that I understand that aspect and this is not intended to extend to that level.)
Anyway. As a person who has chosen to not have children, I have been called selfish. Usually by people that do have children. I truly don't understand that. I'm not sure, by the above definition, who's needs or desires I'm placing above my own. I can say that my mother-in-law desires to be a grandmother, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to become a mother. I suppose there are lots of children in the adoption and foster care systems that desire a permanent home and I would be considered selfish in that environment. I've always looked at it as being the needs and desires of someone with whom I'm actually personally acquainted. But I'll accept that if need be.
I'd like to make an argument that the woman in California, with no job and no father for the children, who just had 8 children to add to her existing family of 6 under the age of 7, 3 of whom have special needs, is the selfish one. She put her desire to have more children above the needs of the ones she had. Every child deserves time with their parents. Deserves to be loved and made to feel special. These older children will be robbed of their childhood as they will inevitably have to help with all the babies. (As a side note, I feel similarly about the family in northwest Arkansas that now has 18 children but at least those pretty much came one at a time and seemed to be the choice of a married couple.)
I will say that I am, by definition, selfish as it turns out that Ms. Suleman receives government assistance. That most likely means my money. My desire to spend my money as I choose should, in my opinion, be placed above her need for it. I was not consulted on her decision to artificially create 8 more lives. She shouldn't be entitled to one penny of my money without my say so.
A wise man once commented that just because you can do something doesn't always mean you should. Being able to bear children does not make you a mother.
Recognizing that you should not be a mother doesn't make you selfish. It means you were able to recognize your limitations and that your talents lied elsewhere. It means you didn't bow to peer pressure or societal conventions. It means you did what was right for you, and ultimately those around you. Taking care of those you love, in whatever capacity, should never be considered selfish.
And if Ms. Suleman truly had the children out of love and for all the right reasons, then I will gladly take back my comment.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Random Thought
I heard on the radio this morning that on this day in history baseball legend Ted Williams crashed his military plane after taking small arms fire. I think they said somewhere over Korea. I contrast that in my mind with the press conference this week with Alex Rodriguez explaining his use of banned substances. Just the latest in a long long line of baseball players having done the same thing. A-Rod was the highest paid player in baseball at the time. Its really sad what all these players are doing and the stain it is leaving on our American Pastime.
But the saddest part is that A-Rod is the one the kids will call a hero.
But the saddest part is that A-Rod is the one the kids will call a hero.
Generosity Begins at Home
I consider myself to be a fairly charitable individual. I give freely of my time, whatever talents I have, and money where ever possible. Those were the basic tenets of the Methodist church - promise to support the Church with your prayers, your presence, your gifts and your service. I've tried to apply those to other aspects of my life.
I'm very careful. I don't have an inordinate amount of free time and I work extremely hard for my money. My husband and I work together on saving and investing and enjoying our life together without being overly frivolous. We have all that we need and a lot of what we want. So I tend to check very carefully who will be receiving what I have to give. I support organizations that I believe in. Believe in their mission, believe in the populations they serve.
The difference in me and the federal government is that when I support an organization I get to make the choice who I support. The government takes my money and I am therefore forced to support whomever they choose. There is something inherently wrong there.
Because of the bill passed this week (mostly unread by the folks that voted on and signed it), I have to give people money to do what they should have been doing on their own. Paying their mortgages and bills. Living within their means. Building the best product out there, not one that falls apart just before the 100,000 mile warranty comes up. There was a day when a man's word was his bond and deals were struck with handshake. Now we generate reams of paper to be signed and a lot of people still don't hold up their end of the deal.
I've been unexpectedly unemployed before. Last recession. I know about being in over your head and the phone calls that don't stop and the constant mailing of resumes. It isn't fun in the very least. But no one - and I mean NO ONE - bailed us out. We got in too deep, it caught up with us, but we dug our way out. And when we were finally able to buy a house, it had an adjustable rate attached to the mortgage. Which we struggled with until we could lock it in at a reasonable rate.
The problems we're facing today aren't new problems. The current plan by the government is, however, a fairly new solution. And it troubles me. Where is the sense of personal responsibility and pride? Where are the folks that hold up their hand and say "No thanks, we'll take care of ourselves"? I'm certain they are out there (and Ford Motor Company does immediately come to mind) but they are few and far between. There are lots of hands being held out right now.
And very few of them I'd like to shake.
I'm very careful. I don't have an inordinate amount of free time and I work extremely hard for my money. My husband and I work together on saving and investing and enjoying our life together without being overly frivolous. We have all that we need and a lot of what we want. So I tend to check very carefully who will be receiving what I have to give. I support organizations that I believe in. Believe in their mission, believe in the populations they serve.
The difference in me and the federal government is that when I support an organization I get to make the choice who I support. The government takes my money and I am therefore forced to support whomever they choose. There is something inherently wrong there.
Because of the bill passed this week (mostly unread by the folks that voted on and signed it), I have to give people money to do what they should have been doing on their own. Paying their mortgages and bills. Living within their means. Building the best product out there, not one that falls apart just before the 100,000 mile warranty comes up. There was a day when a man's word was his bond and deals were struck with handshake. Now we generate reams of paper to be signed and a lot of people still don't hold up their end of the deal.
I've been unexpectedly unemployed before. Last recession. I know about being in over your head and the phone calls that don't stop and the constant mailing of resumes. It isn't fun in the very least. But no one - and I mean NO ONE - bailed us out. We got in too deep, it caught up with us, but we dug our way out. And when we were finally able to buy a house, it had an adjustable rate attached to the mortgage. Which we struggled with until we could lock it in at a reasonable rate.
The problems we're facing today aren't new problems. The current plan by the government is, however, a fairly new solution. And it troubles me. Where is the sense of personal responsibility and pride? Where are the folks that hold up their hand and say "No thanks, we'll take care of ourselves"? I'm certain they are out there (and Ford Motor Company does immediately come to mind) but they are few and far between. There are lots of hands being held out right now.
And very few of them I'd like to shake.
Monday, February 16, 2009
UNACCEPTABLE
Congress just passed an enormous bill - the Economic Stimulus Act or whatever they are calling it - and several members have admitted they didn't even bother to read it.
Didn't bother to read it.
At 1,041 pages, I can't say that I blame them. Unless Stephen King writes it I probably wouldn't read it either. But no one has asked me to vote on it. It isn't in my job description to read it. No one is counting on my reading it to make an informed decision that will impact their very lives.
Worse yet, the President is expected to sign it. He probably hasn't read it either. I don't even sign a credit card receipt without looking at it first. I certainly wouldn't sign a binding contract much less a major piece of legislation without reading it.
It should be mandatory to read it. If that policy were instituted then maybe we'd start getting bills that were only for one thing at a time. Not a bill that builds roads in one state, counts mice babies in another state, and collects guns in a third state. None of these bogus attachments that creates railroad lines from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. If we're all going broke then who has money to gamble?
What do half of these things even have to do with stimulating the economy? I have an economics degree - although I haven't used it for 20 years so I've forgotten a lot - but I don't see the long term benefits to throwing trillions of dollars into the system. I do seem to remember lots of arguments on why that doesn't work.
I don't know. I'm very disappointed. Right now, Washington is operating business as usual. There's been no change. No effort to get along. No means of working together just the side with more votes getting what they wanted. I hope all their constituents paid attention to how the Congress voted. I did and I'll remember it come the next election. If this stimulus package fails, and I don't know one way or the other right now, I can assure you I won't support anyone who voted for it. If it does work then clearly there are some intelligent folks at work for us and they should be kept on the job.
People can no longer just sit back and hope for the best when it comes to our government. I no longer believe they have my best interests at heart. Sad to say, but that's how I feel. Everyone has to take an interest and do what they can to educate themselves on the issues at hand. Our very lives and livelihoods now depend on it. If nothing else there is one thing that everyone can do and that is pray for our leaders and leaders around the world. They need all the help they can get.
Maybe this will work. Maybe there are good things in this bill. I don't know, I haven't read it.
Didn't bother to read it.
At 1,041 pages, I can't say that I blame them. Unless Stephen King writes it I probably wouldn't read it either. But no one has asked me to vote on it. It isn't in my job description to read it. No one is counting on my reading it to make an informed decision that will impact their very lives.
Worse yet, the President is expected to sign it. He probably hasn't read it either. I don't even sign a credit card receipt without looking at it first. I certainly wouldn't sign a binding contract much less a major piece of legislation without reading it.
It should be mandatory to read it. If that policy were instituted then maybe we'd start getting bills that were only for one thing at a time. Not a bill that builds roads in one state, counts mice babies in another state, and collects guns in a third state. None of these bogus attachments that creates railroad lines from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. If we're all going broke then who has money to gamble?
What do half of these things even have to do with stimulating the economy? I have an economics degree - although I haven't used it for 20 years so I've forgotten a lot - but I don't see the long term benefits to throwing trillions of dollars into the system. I do seem to remember lots of arguments on why that doesn't work.
I don't know. I'm very disappointed. Right now, Washington is operating business as usual. There's been no change. No effort to get along. No means of working together just the side with more votes getting what they wanted. I hope all their constituents paid attention to how the Congress voted. I did and I'll remember it come the next election. If this stimulus package fails, and I don't know one way or the other right now, I can assure you I won't support anyone who voted for it. If it does work then clearly there are some intelligent folks at work for us and they should be kept on the job.
People can no longer just sit back and hope for the best when it comes to our government. I no longer believe they have my best interests at heart. Sad to say, but that's how I feel. Everyone has to take an interest and do what they can to educate themselves on the issues at hand. Our very lives and livelihoods now depend on it. If nothing else there is one thing that everyone can do and that is pray for our leaders and leaders around the world. They need all the help they can get.
Maybe this will work. Maybe there are good things in this bill. I don't know, I haven't read it.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
The Big Picture
Back in the old days, late 70s and early 80s, when you went to see a concert you actually watched the performers. Side note - I do believe my first concert was Styx in Little Rock, early 1981. My very cool, and much younger than my unhip parents, aunt and uncle took me and some friends while Mom and Dad babysat my newborn cousin. I'm not sure if they kept both my cousins or just the one. Anyway, I digress...
Even if you didn't have great seats, you were steadily watching the stage. Trying to make sure you didn't miss anything. Then along came the advent of the screens on the sides of the stage. Helped you see the singers better. One of the first ones of those I remember was Alan Jackson, I think. Anyway, at the time we thought it was so cool to see the singers so "close up". Of course, with that you only see what the cameraman thinks is important to see, not all the action. Now there is a full on video extravaganza going on around and behind the performers. We just saw Brad Paisley and he had video stuff all over! He even had Keith Urban and Allison Krause there digitally for his duets with them. The Allison Krause was so convincing that it took a while to realize that she wasn't real.
But I catch myself watching so much of all the extra stuff that I'm not actually watching the stage anymore. I could be sitting at home in front of my television and not inside a packed arena. I'm missing the show itself because I'm looking at the Big Picture.
That started me to thinking. How much of life are we missing because we're looking at the Big Picture? We're working crazy hours to fund a child's future education, but missing the time at home helping with homework. We want big and better houses without realizing that if we're not there to enjoy them, or if they aren't filled with love then they are nothing but four walls and roof. We plan for a future retirement and all the things we want to do, without remembering that the here and now is all that we're promised. We want the Big Picture but forget that it is the small details that make it complete. An unpainted canvas on a wall is not much to look at. A child's drawing on a refrigerator can be a masterpiece.
So stop next time. Stop planning so much and wanting the next big thing. Enjoy the day that you've been given for what it is - a gift. Quit looking at the video screen and watch the stage. Its much more interesting.
Even if you didn't have great seats, you were steadily watching the stage. Trying to make sure you didn't miss anything. Then along came the advent of the screens on the sides of the stage. Helped you see the singers better. One of the first ones of those I remember was Alan Jackson, I think. Anyway, at the time we thought it was so cool to see the singers so "close up". Of course, with that you only see what the cameraman thinks is important to see, not all the action. Now there is a full on video extravaganza going on around and behind the performers. We just saw Brad Paisley and he had video stuff all over! He even had Keith Urban and Allison Krause there digitally for his duets with them. The Allison Krause was so convincing that it took a while to realize that she wasn't real.
But I catch myself watching so much of all the extra stuff that I'm not actually watching the stage anymore. I could be sitting at home in front of my television and not inside a packed arena. I'm missing the show itself because I'm looking at the Big Picture.
That started me to thinking. How much of life are we missing because we're looking at the Big Picture? We're working crazy hours to fund a child's future education, but missing the time at home helping with homework. We want big and better houses without realizing that if we're not there to enjoy them, or if they aren't filled with love then they are nothing but four walls and roof. We plan for a future retirement and all the things we want to do, without remembering that the here and now is all that we're promised. We want the Big Picture but forget that it is the small details that make it complete. An unpainted canvas on a wall is not much to look at. A child's drawing on a refrigerator can be a masterpiece.
So stop next time. Stop planning so much and wanting the next big thing. Enjoy the day that you've been given for what it is - a gift. Quit looking at the video screen and watch the stage. Its much more interesting.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Would you do it?
These posts rattle around in my head for a while before I put them down. Some might think not long enough, but here goes.
On October 21, 2001 we lost our beloved Stormy. She had just turned 11 two days before and we were not prepared for her passing. She was only sick for a couple of days. We were devastated. I was desperate. I missed that little 5 pound hairball so much! She was nothing but pure joy to us. She would lick my cheek in the morning to get me up. She was always just happy. She only once "copped an attitude" with me. I had taken her to get her teeth cleaned and she was still recovering from the anesthesia. I let her walk around in the yard when we got home and waited and waited. Nothing. So we went in. She bounded to the top of the steps, turned and looked at me and left me a "present". Her face just daring me to say anything about it. Then she went and slept under the bed for a while.
I came up with some pretty off the wall ideas for keeping her with us - the Space Bags idea immediately pops to mind. Included in that was cloning. Which is what prompted this post.
First off, I don't care one whit how anyone spends their money. It is none of mine or anyone's business. So it doesn't bother me at all that the couple in Florida spent $155,000 to clone a lab that they loved so much. Nor do I care that they cloned the dog. I still have locks of hair of the three that we've lost and never rule out any possibility.
But, it got me to thinking about our family. If we had cloned the three that we lost, would our family still have grown to the 7 we have now? Most likely not. Who wouldn't we have picked up to love? At what point would our home, but never our hearts, have closed to a little dog in need. We got #6 just hours before he was to be euthanized at the shelter so he might not even still be here. I'm certain that #10 with seizures would have been allowed to just keep running free on that Sunday morning.
But how much would we have lost by trying to preserve what we had? We would have missed a lot of unknowns to keep a few knowns. I might never have seen a completely blue-eyed dog. I might never have experienced the love needed to get an animal through a cluster of seizures. I might not have really known the love of animals that have lived a long time in a shelter and are so grateful for a home.
No, I don't fault that couple one bit for cloning their dog. Totally and completely their business. But as much as I miss those little faces - Stormy, age 11; Molly, age 12; and Christy, age 16 - and their very unique and individual personalities, I can't imagine life without the group we have now. Our lives are richer and better because of all of them. One of my very younger cousins made the comment to my aunt one time that their family had too many kids. She had two older brothers that were the source of that comment. My aunt looked at her very seriously and asked who she would pick to go away. Silence. Even at a young age she loved her brothers enough to not really want to be separated from them, despite the circumstances at present.
I feel the same way. If I had the opportunity to bring back any or all of the three that have passed on how would I ever decide who they would replace? They are all special and worth every minute I spend with them. I could never choose one over another.
So I guess my point is that while it is sometimes the easier to stick with what we know - easier, familiar, comfortable - you never know what you might miss when you don't get out of that comfort zone. There's lots to be learned out there, especially about ourselves.
On October 21, 2001 we lost our beloved Stormy. She had just turned 11 two days before and we were not prepared for her passing. She was only sick for a couple of days. We were devastated. I was desperate. I missed that little 5 pound hairball so much! She was nothing but pure joy to us. She would lick my cheek in the morning to get me up. She was always just happy. She only once "copped an attitude" with me. I had taken her to get her teeth cleaned and she was still recovering from the anesthesia. I let her walk around in the yard when we got home and waited and waited. Nothing. So we went in. She bounded to the top of the steps, turned and looked at me and left me a "present". Her face just daring me to say anything about it. Then she went and slept under the bed for a while.
I came up with some pretty off the wall ideas for keeping her with us - the Space Bags idea immediately pops to mind. Included in that was cloning. Which is what prompted this post.
First off, I don't care one whit how anyone spends their money. It is none of mine or anyone's business. So it doesn't bother me at all that the couple in Florida spent $155,000 to clone a lab that they loved so much. Nor do I care that they cloned the dog. I still have locks of hair of the three that we've lost and never rule out any possibility.
But, it got me to thinking about our family. If we had cloned the three that we lost, would our family still have grown to the 7 we have now? Most likely not. Who wouldn't we have picked up to love? At what point would our home, but never our hearts, have closed to a little dog in need. We got #6 just hours before he was to be euthanized at the shelter so he might not even still be here. I'm certain that #10 with seizures would have been allowed to just keep running free on that Sunday morning.
But how much would we have lost by trying to preserve what we had? We would have missed a lot of unknowns to keep a few knowns. I might never have seen a completely blue-eyed dog. I might never have experienced the love needed to get an animal through a cluster of seizures. I might not have really known the love of animals that have lived a long time in a shelter and are so grateful for a home.
No, I don't fault that couple one bit for cloning their dog. Totally and completely their business. But as much as I miss those little faces - Stormy, age 11; Molly, age 12; and Christy, age 16 - and their very unique and individual personalities, I can't imagine life without the group we have now. Our lives are richer and better because of all of them. One of my very younger cousins made the comment to my aunt one time that their family had too many kids. She had two older brothers that were the source of that comment. My aunt looked at her very seriously and asked who she would pick to go away. Silence. Even at a young age she loved her brothers enough to not really want to be separated from them, despite the circumstances at present.
I feel the same way. If I had the opportunity to bring back any or all of the three that have passed on how would I ever decide who they would replace? They are all special and worth every minute I spend with them. I could never choose one over another.
So I guess my point is that while it is sometimes the easier to stick with what we know - easier, familiar, comfortable - you never know what you might miss when you don't get out of that comfort zone. There's lots to be learned out there, especially about ourselves.
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