But He Didn't Ask!

Here is my story. (Sorry Mom. I didn't tell you directly since I didn't want you to worry. That is also how I figured out you really didn't understand Facebook. This was quite the story for a couple of days.)

Billy works in Arkansas the first week of every month. If you spend any time at all watching our house our schedules are very evident. We have to park on the street so it doesn't take an Einstein to know when I'm home alone. My next door neighbor also works in Jackson Monday through Thursday every week so I'm pretty isolated for a few days each month.

But I have a whole pack of dogs in the house so I'm never really worried.

Until this month.

I had dozed off watching the college football BCS championship game (8:15 at night, sad really that I can't stay awake past 8!) and was awakened by the phone ringing. It was my neighbor. He was calling to say that he had seen a flashlight in our backyard. He didn't really think about it at first (told me later that he didn't give it a second thought until it snapped off quickly when he closed his car door) and then decided that I might want to know about it. A polite way of saying he got to the end of his driveway and saw that I was home alone.

I looked outside and didn't see anything, but I kept all the outside lights on all night. Didn't sleep too well either. But I had called the police for some extra patrols and did see them drive by a few times.

It was cold that week. So cold that our downstairs pipes froze the next night. Also so cold that our downstairs stayed in the 40s so me and the puppy dogs all stayed upstairs where it was a toasty 68. So I'm up early on Saturday morning, no longer worried about getting to work, and went outside to see if anything had burst under the house. Nothing had so I'm headed back in the house. Happy, if only for a moment.

And there it was. A bright orange metal coffee cup in the bushes up by the front porch.

And it wasn't ours.

I knew it wasn't ours but I called Billy just to make sure. We'd had no one working on the house and we're up on a hill so no one could have thrown it out the car window and had it land there and it was way to heavy to have blown up there.

So now, I'm a little freaked out.

Mostly because our house is up off the ground and you can easily sit up under there. I can almost stand straight up under there, but I'm short. (Vertically challenged I think they call it). But it looked to me like someone had been up under there.

Not that I don't understand. Thursday night was raining, Friday was cold. It would have offered a port in the storm, so to speak.

Another visit to the police station. A very nice female officer follows me home to check things out and starts asking me if there is a weapon in the house. The look on my face prompted the follow-up question of whether or not there was a weapon that I was comfortable using.

No would be the answer to that question.

Monday morning staff meeting (notice how I've almost forgotten about the frozen pipes and Billy did come home on Sunday morning - early) and the talk all around the table is the newspaper headlines that a man was arrested Sunday morning inside the house catty-corner from ours.

Way way too darn close if you ask me!

Anyway, we concluded, rightly or wrongly, that the guy they picked up had to be the same one that had been in my yard and I was glad I didn't have to worry anymore.

On of my coworkers made the comment that any stray dog we see gets picked up and brought inside but the man under the house wasn't welcome.

I know he was only partially kidding, but the man didn't ask. We don't chase after strays to bring them home, they come to us. Usually walk right up to us with eyes that are asking for help. So we accommodate them.

We give them shelter and food and keep them safe while they are in our care. We try very hard to find their families or, if not, a good home - that isn't ours. Yes, a good many have ended up staying but we bring in dogs, and the occasional cat, all the time that end up going home a few hours later. They just slipped away from their owners temporarily and we help them find their way back.

I hadn't thought about it much since then but my coworker made another comment this past Monday. Billy and I scooped up a puppy Saturday afternoon that was running up a very busy street. He isn't but about 3 or 4 months old and has two collars on so I know he belongs to someone. We spent a couple of hours on Saturday knocking on doors to find his family. We were back out on Sunday morning posting Found! signs. Billy took more out yesterday and I placed an ad in the paper today.

Someone is missing this little guy. We don't intend to keep him. I already have a lead on another family if they can't find the puppy they lost over the weekend (not the same one, we've checked) and our little guy's family doesn't claim him. But the comment was made in passing "but the guy under the house wasn't welcome."

He didn't ask!

I certainly tried not to take it personally, I'm always a little sensitive, but that little dig has hit a nerve with me. I've helped a lot people. Most of which I never told to anyone. I believe that you do things to help others because it is the right thing to do, not so that someone can acknowledge how "good" you are. BUT I do tend to draw the line on people just assuming that I'm good natured and prowling around my house. Even if all they are looking for is shelter.

I'm not foolish. I don't open the doors to strangers and so forth. And no, I probably wouldn't have let a perfect stranger hang out under my house to get out of the rain - even if he had asked. The world is not a safe place.

Sad, but true.

But I do, sometimes, wish people would be careful with their comments. That goes for me as well. There is no telling how many times I've made some off-hand remark, probably attempting to be funny, that was taken the wrong way. We don't always know what is lying beneath someone's surface and the most innocent of words can wound deeply.

Now, as I said, I've let it go. I know, at least I think I know, he didn't honestly mean anything and I think, at least I hope, he knows that I'd help any human in need that I can possibly help.

All they have to do is ask.

The Road Not Taken

My Facebook status the other day said Deanne Rodgers Tanksley "is just wondering......"

I do that a lot. Just sit and wonder. Wonder about what is going on at home while I'm working. Wondering about my one of my nephews and where he is headed. Wondering if I'll survive another busy season - especially as I'm sitting there staring at piles and piles of work.

This particular day the wondering was prompted by some wandering. I needed to take some information to a client and as it was a glorious 70+ degrees outside in January, I walked. I passed a bakery that recently closed up. I could see another around the corner that has been closed for a while. Several other businesses downtown are boarded up as well.

Several years ago I was looking at opening a bakery in downtown Natchez. For those that don't know it - I was enrolled in a culinary arts program before we moved. I was thinking about catering or something. Anyway, at the time I wasn't really pleased with where I was in the accounting industry and I was itching to try something new. I looked at a few options. Talked to some people about buying an existing location. Made a couple of other inquiries.

But I didn't do it. My circumstances at work changed, as did a few other things, so I stayed put.

But I do occasionally think about the "what ifs". If I had opened a bakery would I be closing the doors right now? Or would I be up to my elbows in King Cake orders this Mardi Gras season?

My eighth grade English teacher, Mrs. Charlene Barker, told me I should consider being a writer. What if I had listened and pursued that? Would I be on the New York Times bestseller list? Or would I have one lonely volume on a small town library shelf? As it is now I'm more of a book collector and reader. But I love to write and have a couple of books started and several short stories.

I pretty much stumbled into accounting. If fact, I guess I took a lazy way out. Accounting was actually very easy for me so I just stayed with it. I got swept away with the Big 8 firms interviewing on campus my senior year of college and just never looked back. This is my 22nd busy season.

But I still wonder about those other paths. I'm a very big believer that paths sometimes dead end, or come to a T and you have to chose one direction or the other. I also think you can sometime change paths just because you want to. Might not have to, just want to.

In some ways, I guess I dance over to and along those other roads. I've started this blog and I've had a few things published in e-magazines. I am trying to get some of my other "works" published and things are moving along on that front. I also cook on the side for some people here in town. I basically get the cost of the ingredients reimbursed, but I love to do it and you just never know where these things might lead. I might fix something for someone that ends up sparking a new venture.

I try to always be prepared for anything. For me, that is what makes life fun. Doing all these things on the side, ready should they ever take the spot front and center. Trying to do whatever is necessary to be in position and ready to jump on any opportunities that arise.

Because you never know. The road not taken might have been hidden, or unpaved, or simply under construction. Waiting to be complete before it presented itself.

Kind of makes you wonder.....

It Takes a Funeral

As we have many mornings this last week, today we watched news coming from Haiti. Horrible, horrible devastation there.

A lot of today's stories, however, were focusing on the rescue efforts, success stories, areas of need. It has been mentioned so many times that relief efforts are coming from all over the world. In fact, I have a friend from high school that is a nurse and she has volunteered to go. I know because she put out a Facebook plea for other nurses to join her (its an organized program with her hospital, she isn't just hopping on a plane).

It struck me that she, as well as others, will be working side-by-side with folks from who-knows-where. Possibly folks from countries that don't like America very much. I thought how it takes a tragedy to bring the world together.

Kind of like a funeral does for a family.

How many times have you attended a funeral and saw people that you haven't seen in years? Probably had any number of opportunities, just didn't prioritize it enough to see it through. We've all heard stories of a funeral healing a rift in a family. Maybe a parent passes away and siblings that have been feuding for years suddenly can't really remember why or over what.

It sometimes takes death, destruction, devastation to begin the process of hope, healing, rebirth.

While I would never, ever, wish on anyone the events that have taken place in Haiti since January 12, I can pray that there is some good that comes from it.

I could wish that world leaders would see how the ordinary citizens of their countries reached out in a common mission of help and healing and maybe rethink some of their own policies towards each other. I can pray that maybe the led will become the leaders. That someone, somewhere, will extend a hand of peace to another or change their views about an entire group of people.

I'm not saying the Palestinians and Israelis will suddenly make peace but maybe some other groups can.

Kind of like Rodney King said so many years ago, "Can't we all just get along?"

And if so, why do we wait so long to make the effort? Why does it take having something snatched out from underneath us before we realize how much we have and how good our lives are?

And why do we have to keep learning this same lesson over and over and over?

He Leads With His Heart

Recently I was listening to a video where one of my favorite artists was being honored for his work. This was a songwriting award. During the introduction the speaker went on to talk about all the things this person does for his community and charities and things outside of his profession.

He said, and I'm going from memory so it isn't a direct quote, ".. in all things he does, he leads with his heart."

I thought that was pretty cool.

Especially in today's world where so much is about money or politics or being politically correct and so on.

Maybe if we all lead with our hearts instead of our heads the world would be a different place.

Perhaps people would be kinder, more generous, less suspicious of one another.

Maybe wars would cease.

People could live their lives doing what they felt was right and know they were not alone in that stance. I think that is what happens sometimes. People are afraid or reluctant to lead with their hearts because they think they are the only ones doing it. That everyone else is looking out for themselves and their best interest and not always making decisions for the good of the whole.

It morphs into a "if you can't beat them, join them" mentality.

I see it everyday in business. How do we keep a client that a rival firm is trying to steal? My answer is always through good quality work and excellent customer service but my partners tend to have different views. Not in a bad way but just in a different approach to the problem. People looking for shortcuts on tax returns or making business decisions to undercut the competition.

I heard a story on Fox New this morning about a company in New York that stopped outsourcing their manufacturing to Asia and ended up employing a large percentage of their town's population. They recognized that people in America wanted to support American products but they also saw that they could help out the hometown folks in a time where economics is key. I think this is a good example. Or at least a partial one. This company could probably make more profits with the less expensive Asian labor. Or move their production to a less expensive state than New York. Or any number of other things that would probably benefitted their bottom line. But I think it was an admirable decision to make business changes that benefitted the people, the town itself, the state, and our great nation.

Leading with the heart could take some time to get used to, but I think it would be worth it.

I know I am a Pollyanna. I admit it. Sometimes I'm proud of it. But if we don't dream of change for the better then we have very little to look forward to, don't we?

CFE

One of my goals this year is to take the examination to be a Certified Fraud Examiner - CFE.

Yes, this will give me three more letters behind my name, but it will also afford both me and my firm to take on new and challenging engagements in the fraud arena. Unfortunately, fraud is very prevalent, especially in economically challenging times and the services of a CFE are needed. Since I am starting my 21st busy season I kind of relish the idea of some work that is not only focused on numbers.

But, I think the greatest fraud right now is being perpetrated on the American people by our own Congress.

Every time I hear someone in the media talk about the "Cornhusker Kickback" or the "Louisiana Purchase" I get sick to my stomach and infuriated.

While there was probably a whole lot more of this than we are aware of, these two elected representatives either 1) voted for a bill that they didn't truly support simply so their individual states could benefit; or 2) they actually believed the bill being presented was a good thing for our country but decided to hijack the legislative process and hold out their vote so that their individual states could benefit.

Either one is wrong.

I'm not blasting the bill itself. I'm also not blasting the idea behind the bill. The insurance industry in this country has not done any favors for health care. Reform is absolutely needed. I have said before that I strongly disagree with some of the methods of reform that have been reported to be in the bill, but, at over 2,000 pages long, who really knows what all is in the bill.

I know I'm standing on my soapbox and I've said all this before, but it is just wrong.

No bill should be over 2,000 pages long. All that says to me is there is a bunch of unnecessary garbage in there.

No Congress should be coerced into voting on something that long that they couldn't possibly have read. That they did so speaks volumes to me of the disrespect the Congress truly has for its own constituents.

As an auditor, I audit governments and non-profit organizations that receive federal funding. I have 17 compliance requirements that I have to address for each program. Some aren't applicable, but you have to document that as well. The first couple of compliance items are pretty much universally applicable - Allowable Costs and Allowable Activities. I have to determine if program funds are being spent in accordance with program guidelines and if those costs are reasonable and necessary in nature. I need to make a determination whether funds being used to supplement other sources of funding, or is the entity supplanting with federal dollars what they should be doing with other monies.

How are Earth can a bill this big be condensed enough to be something that I, or any other CPA, can audit? How can I know that everything that should be included in the program is included? If you are in a state that received some kind of preferential treatment how do you document that? This "thing" is completely unwieldy and I see nothing but problems.

Yes, I know that the United States is the only place that I want to live. At least long term. But there are a few places that I wouldn't mind giving a shot to, just to confirm my thinking. That doesn't, however, mean that it is the perfect place.

It isn't.

There are problems and flaws in the System and they aren't going to get any better. The whole thing has become a game and we're all the pawns.

We are no longer seeing a government for the people, by the people. It is a government for whichever group can get the best deal.

Sad, really.

Where is Mr. Smith when you need him?

Happy New Year!

What a year 2009 was!

I said to Billy the other day "I like my life."

And it's true.

I always journal a "Year in Review" on New Year's Eve (I'm a day late this year because Riley decided to have a few seizures the last couple of days - not bad ones and not many but you learn to sleep when he's sleeping so my schedule is all off) and really take some time to think about everything that happened. I get a chance to wipe the slate clean of any mistakes I made, see how to improve on things I did well, and plan for what I want to accomplish in the coming year.

I never make resolutions, only set goals. If I have a goal then I can always be working towards it. With resolutions it seems to be a Pass or Fail kind of thing. Why would anyone intentionally set themselves up for failure?

We have a simple life, but it is a good one. No cameras follow us down the street chronicling our every move, my husband didn't have any other women (much less 14) coming out of the woodwork with infidelity accusations, there was no secret life of drug use revealed, and so on and so on.

We have each other. We have our sisters and brother and their families and moms that we love and adore. I have beautiful memories of a dad that I miss each and every day and am fortunate for his family that helps me keep him alive inside.

I have a good job, though stressful, and a boss that is finally starting to see that I am capable of more than he thought. I think having a successful peer review was the real turning point. His attitude is changing little by little. I work with a great group of people and have a supportive husband that understands the long hours and weekends and does all that he can to help out at home so that I have one less thing to worry about. And when I say all that he can - I mean everything. He shops, cleans, does the laundry, everything. I have virtually no responsibilities on the weeks that he is home. The weeks he works in Arkansas he has no expectations that all this stuff gets done in his absence. I take care of the Magnificent 7 and that is all he asks of me.

Our families were blessed this year. We did lose one member on my dad's side but gained one on my mom's. The sadness of losing my cousin was tempered somewhat by getting to see my uncle, my aunt, and all the other cousins that I hadn't seen for years. Sitting outside Tom's house with Guy and Steven was a really cool night and one I won't forget. I was glad I could find a way to go.

What do I see for 2010? Our family will be expanding again when my cousin gets married in June. There is a baby due in July on my dad's side. I have some professional development goals that are in motion and at least one will be completed in the next few months. I have a very cool trip in the works with one of my dad's brothers to go see the area where they grew up before they all moved to Arkansas and try to get some of that family history documented. (I'm fascinated by where I came from and how I got here and what makes me the way I am.) I'm also excited about a trip with my mom and niece in July to Washington DC. I've never been and it should be tons of fun. Brett is an incredible young girl (she'll be 12 when we go) - funny, intelligent, articulate - and it should be an awesome trip and good opportunity to spend some quality time together. I'm working on some other plans with my nephews. Their schedules are tough and the distance from their house to Natchez is an obstacle, but obstacles are meant to be moved so I will work something out.

I hope and pray for continued good health. I keep trying to do my part wherever possible. I pray that for all my friends and family. We've all been very blessed in that department. If that changes then I'll pray for the strength to face it head on and plow through.

So yes, I like my life.

Love it, actually.

And I don't see that changing in 2010. My wish for you is the same. If you don't like your life then work towards changing it so you will. It won't happen overnight most likely but anything worth having is worth working for.

So Happy New Year! Have a wonderful day.