I have been so blessed.
Hayden turned 18 this past spring. Hardly seemed possible to me. But I told all three children in 2009 that once they turned 18 AND graduated from high school that I would take them anywhere they wanted and do whatever they wanted. The only parameters I set was that it had to be in the continental United States - I could see the wheels turning in their heads of faraway lands - and it would be just the two of us, no friends, no family. We discussed things like seeing a baseball game in Boston, the ballet in New York, a NASCAR race, or maybe a concert for a favorite group.
Hayden, of course, was first up. And it was time for me to make good on my promise.
But he struggled. He couldn't decide what he wanted to do, to see, to go. We made suggestion after suggestion. As a "planner" I wanted to be certain that I had enough time to adequately cover all the bases. I didn't want to disappoint him. I was honestly starting to stress about what was supposed to be a fun thing!
But the day came when I got the call. Los Angeles.
All of it.
As long as I had a mission, I was good. So I went to work on it.
We flew out of Northwest Arkansas on July 21, 2011 and off we went!
And we did see it all!
The Hollywood sign:
The Pacific Ocean:
The Santa Monica Pier:
and Mullholland Drive:
We also rode EVERY roller coaster that Magic Mountain could throw at us!
But most importantly, we got to spend time together. As two adults. Time I will cherish for the rest of my days. We discussed the world, his plans, and just mundane, "in the moment" kinds of stuff like who might be living in the big house behind the gates we were seeing or who might be driving that fancy car parked on Rodeo Drive.
I am proud of the man he is becoming. I say "becoming" because, like all of us, he is still a work in process. He still strattles that line between man and child and you sometimes catch glimpses of both. I look back over the years and wonder where the time went. We went from
through
to
and finally coming to
It's tough to let go. So hard for me to envision him walking around the campus at the University of Arkansas, starting out on the next phase of his life. Hard to know that his major decisions now are just that - HIS decisions. We adults get input but we don't always get to pull the old "just because I said so" stuff anymore. (Although Andrea and Doug can still whip out the "as long as we're paying your bills" card when needed.) As with all parents, they have to loosen the reins and hope that they taught him well. As the aunt, I hope I taught him something, anything of value.
Dee Dee loves you, Hayden. I know you know it. (I tell you often enough!) And I mean it. To me, you will, in some ways, always be that little boy with his arms around my neck, holding on. Someone you can cling to if your mom and dad aren't handy. We went from the merry-go-round to the Green Lantern and I wouldn't trade a minute.
The upside for me is that we're not done yet. Life is a journey. And, as the song goes (kinda) "you've only just begun...."
