If you have ever played Words With Friends you have probably seen the phrase "they timed out". It happens when an opponent takes too long on their move. And the timer is usually about 14 days. Since I am not a "nudger" (another Words With Friends action for when your opponent is taking too long, in your opinion), I see it quite a bit with my random opponents. Sometimes they like to start a game thinking we will finish in the same night. When I can't, they move on.
So, I play a variety of folks - random opponents, Facebook friends, old friends, and family. Basically, anyone that wants to. I like the challenge and I believe that I am keeping my brain healthy. And it helps me feel connected people that I don't see on a regular basis. A daily "touch", if you will.
One such opponent that I have played regularly for years, we will call her KB, is a cousin. Growing up, I would see her in the summers when I visited my grandparents. In an odd quirk of fate, that happens a good bit on my mom's side of the family, the age differences are oddities. This cousin and I are fourth cousins - her father and my grandfather were first cousins - and I am about three months older than she. My grandmother would take me to her house when I would visit and we would hang out. I think I will be forever scarred by the time she let me drive their golf cart and I got too close to a tree and the cart brushed a branch with a bird's nest in it. I didn't know it until we got ready to stop and I reached down to shift the gear handle and saw these little birds, mouths wide open, staring at me. It was a horrible feeling. I can still see it in my mind's eye to this day. But she took care of it.
Like me, she studied accounting in college, I at Hendrix and she at the University of Arkansas, and I think was also offered a position with Ernst & Whinney when I was in 1988, but she opted to stay at the University and get a law degree. As happens sometimes, we lost contact over the years as we got older and started our families. I knew she had married someone that I was also distantly related to, and had three children - including twins. I also knew she went to work for a law firm in Little Rock.
We had had similar paths, but they were not parallel. Occasionally I would get updates on where she was and what she was doing. I moved out of the area and was doing my own thing, too. It happens.
As also happens sometimes, Facebook connects people.
I can't tell you exactly when we became Facebook friends, but I know we were before Naunie passed away in 2012 and that it was great to get to see her in person at the visitation. We got to talk for a few minutes as if we had just seen each other the week before. We have also been playing Words With Friends together for many years.
She has beat me 86 games to 7, so far.
Recently, KB suffered a stroke. Blessedly, she is still with us. She was leaving court one day, probably like so many days before, and her assistant noticed she didn't look "right". An ambulance was called. I, like many others, posted prayers on her Facebook page and watched for word that she would be okay.
Currently, she is in rehab. Making progress every day.
Even though I knew it was coming, it still felt like a gut punch on the day that Words With Friends told me I had won the game we had in progress. Right under the words You Won! it says They Timed Out.
They Timed Out.
It hits you that the "time out" could have been a permanent situation.
Sometimes Life just slaps you in the face and makes you ask all the hard questions - am I where I want to be, am I the person I should be, am I doing all I can for all that I can? Or am I trying to be what the world wants me to be?
Am I even close to being the person I should be?
I know I feel blessed that KB's stroke was only a wake up call, and not just for her (and I shouldn't assume it was a wake up call for her. We have not discussed it, and she may be perfectly happy with the life she has lived to this point. She may have nothing that she would do differently.) Being older than she, if only by a few months, has made me wonder if it could happen to me? Am I doing anything to prevent it?
Can I prevent it?
What else might be waiting for me of which I am unaware?
How about you?
Not trying to be morbid, or telling people to run in tomorrow to their bosses and quit their high stress jobs. No, just trying to raise awareness. Just trying to provoke some thoughts. We all need that little elbow in the ribs on occasion as we tend to get complacent, caught up, and lose focus on our bigger picture.
There are some things that are inevitable and for which we cannot do anything to alter the conclusion. Some things just are what they are. But we can live a life that says if I "timed out" tomorrow I would be okay with it - I have lived a good life, done what I wanted to do, given back where I could, tried to make a lasting impact with my family and/or others in my circuit. I can be move on confident in the knowledge that I would have no regrets, leaving nothing undone.
I will remind you of one of my favorite sayings - live life not like it your last day, but the last day of a loved one.
Makes you think, doesn't it?
KB still has work to do, but she is making progress. She has moved up to using a cane and may get to go home next week. God is good!
And we give Him many thanks. The least of which is for the reminder.
