What a Difference a Week Makes...

Last Friday, right about this time, I was sitting on the couch in our family room, feet up, watching television.  I spied Dani standing in doorway.  Using her best ninja moves, she did what she always does - skirts the walls all the way around the room until she gets to my side of the couch.  

And I did what I always do - hang my left arm over the side of the couch and stroke her back, rub her ears, and scratch at the base of her tail.  

Then, I looked at my watch.  4:58 pm.  And my only thought was "what a difference a week makes."

At that time on the previous Friday, I had been sitting in a vet's office waiting room.  Hard chairs.  Cold.  Waiting for Dani's doctor.  

I didn't know at the time that I was mere moments away from her surgeon coming out and telling me that yes, in fact, her surgery was going to be on the most complex end of the spectrum.  And that because of that, we were looking at probably a 60/40 chance of having a favorable outcome.  Of course, I reminded myself, not having the surgery would result in a 100% unfavorable outcome.  They were explaining that there was a large tumor, but the location was the issue.  It was very close to the vena cava and other major organs and even the smallest slip could have dire consequences.

All I could see really of the doctors that were dressed out for surgery were two sets of eyes looking at me between their caps and their masks.  Eyes with concern, no question. Waiting on me, on my decision.  I'd already told them before they even started that if they got in there and it was too much or too risky to just close her up and I'd take her home the next day and she could live out the rest of her days, however long that was, with us, but here they were asking me.  That must mean they felt like they could do this, right?

What did I want to do?  

I looked at the surgeon.  Had he done this kind of surgery before with this level of complexity? Yes.  Did he feel confident that he could do it in this case?  Yes.  I looked at our vet who was there to observe and, presumably assist if needed, and I asked him - if Dani was your dog would you let him do the surgery knowing what you do? "Without hesitation" was his reply.

Then let's do it.

Another hour goes by.  I have books with me to read but all I can do is play mindless games on my iPad.  Nothing that would require thought.  All my thoughts were in the operating room, laying on a table, abdomen splayed open.

And then I see the doctors heading my way and the pure relief was visible in their eyes, even from a distance.  And their eyes were all I could see.  The surgeon was so excited and talking so fast that our vet had to slow him down so he could explain everything in "Deanne terms" - meaning very basic.

I know I won't get all the medical jargon correct but what it all amounted to was a very large tumor on her right kidney and that one of them (or both, maybe) had bisected itself and the tumor and kidney were enclosed in one solid sac and - drumroll please! - they were able to remove 95% of it!  That's the reason I don't remember anything else they said is because they told me they removed 95% of that horrible thing!

The relief I felt at that moment is still indescribable.  For the last hour I had mentally prepared myself for the news that of the 60/40 chance, the 40 had won.  Or that it was actually going to be too hard for them to do and I'd be taking Dani home the following day with no changes.  Or worse changes, if that was even possible.  So, to see the joy on the doctors' faces just overwhelmed me.  

I was texting Billy and my mom and sister just as fast as I could.  I knew they were riding the rollercoaster with me as I'd been updating them all evening and I just wanted to get them whatever information I could. 

At little after 7 pm they told me I could see her.  Dani was in a warming kennel, bundled up, but she raised her head when I walked in.  (Billy says I misinterpreted her look but I'm really pretty certain she was not happy with me at that moment - major side-eye/stink eye even still under the effects of the anesthesia...)  I listened to the instructions, and I asked my questions.  Yes, a technician would be there all night.  Yes, Dani could come home on Saturday.  No, she wouldn't have diet restrictions, just to stay quiet for a week or so while she healed. And so on.

Then they asked if I had any further questions.  I looked at the surgeon, square in the eyes though I could see his whole face now, and I told him I had one more and I hoped it wouldn't come across as inappropriate - would it be okay if I hugged him?  

And then the tears leaked out.

And then I hugged all the doctors in the room.  Heck, I might have even hugged a janitor, I don't know.  My relief and joy were palpable. 

I was able to leave and bring Dani home the following day, forgiven by her - eventually - for putting her through it all.  She did try to make one Great Escape as we were leaving but a nice lady jogger slowed down long enough to act like she wanted to pet Dani and when Dani stopped, and I scooped her up and got her into the car. 

Since then, we've gotten the pathology reports and are devising a plan for Dani.  In true "Tanksley" fashion, she has not one but two cancers - they had formed what is called a collision tumor.  It was a grade 2 and very aggressive, but there is no evidence of any metastasizing.  The doctor did a visual while she was open on the spleen, liver, etc. and we've since had a chest x-ray and her lungs are clear.  But we still need to kill the remaining 5% so that there isn't a chance for anything to spread.  Because the cancer impacted her kidneys and the urethra, the only real concern at this point would be her bladder.  We've met with an oncology veterinarian, and she is devising Dani's treatment plan.   Dani needs to be 2 weeks post-surgery before anything could start, and that just so happens to be today.  

My Christmas wish has been fulfilled.  There is really nothing else I could want.  I have a happy, HEALTHY, pup again.  We are starting to see her personality coming back as she feels better.  Still not running around with the rest of the Herd or anything but wanting to lay outside or come in the family room with us or eating in the kitchen and not just be resting in her bed.  She's healing.  

What a difference a week makes.  

Book Review #2 - The Cemetery Spot

 

The Things We Do For Love

I received this advance copy of The Cemetery Spot from NetGalley with the expectation by them that I would provide my honest review.

 

The underlying theme of the book is that family relationships can be complicated and that sometimes we will do anything for those we love.   Whether or not they deserve it.

To me, most of the characters didn’t deserve the grace they were being given.  For me to enjoy a story, I need to be invested in the characters themselves, first and foremost.  I could not generate any enthusiasm for August (Auggie) or April (Ape).   As an older sister myself, I found the storyline of the sisters when they were younger to be abhorrent.  August put her younger sister into a horrible situation, from which then she then needed to save her.  Instead of being furious with August, April then spends her subsequent years feeling indebted to August, ultimately helping with August’s own family situation.   Poor decision-making abounded.

The book was promoted a bit like a mystery, but the answer was fairly obvious early in the book.  I was not surprised by the reveal surrounding the central theme of the story.  Also, the Frieda McFadden-esque “twist” at the end completely fell flat for me.  Again, because the characters involved meant nothing to me.  It felt like that extra bit was thrown in because of the success of Ms. McFadden’s (who was listed in the acknowledgements as a contributor) own books and the hope that it would be successful here, but it just wasn’t to me.

Overall, not a story I enjoyed, nor would I recommend it.

 

Book Review #1 - The Damages

 I am trying something new.  (Some of you getting this email out of the blue after 4 years will probably be surprised, and this may not be your thing.  Just skip over it.)  I have discovered a world where folks like me get advance copies of books and are asked to give reviews.  As a part of that, the reviews need to be public and published places where they will be seen.  I just finished my first of three books that I have received, and I wish my first one had been better.  Until I can figure out how to categorize these in a different manner, they will just be on my main feed for now.  

The Damages (Marian Warner #2)

Shelley Costa

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I received this advance copy of The Damages from NetGalley with the expectation by them that I would provide my honest review. 

I did not love this book. 

Initially, the author's writing style was hard to follow. There were punctuation errors, or it was -missing completely. Phrases that didn't read well. And later there were even places where the person changed. The sentence read "Marian threw up my hands." It should have been Marian threw up her hands based on the narrator's point-of-view. The book just felt like it hadn't been adequately proofed and edited.

But I tried to move past all that and just focus on the story itself. It wasn't a bad story, but it was incomplete, in my opinion. This is the second book with common characters. I will be honest and say I didn't read the first one before starting this one. Maybe that would have helped. But The Damages was not listed as a sequel, just the second in a series. Series books should be able to stand, somewhat, on their own. A little more background filler to help develop the characters in this book would have been helpful. The author obviously assumed that the first book would have been read because there were vague references to "that time in January" and such, but not enough for me to understand the true relationships between some of the characters. And without that background, I just didn't find myself really invested in them. And because I wasn't invested in them, I didn't really care.

My next issue was with the wrap-up of the story itself. A successful mystery will leave appropriate clues for the reader to find, without giving away the ending. I have yet to understand how Marian solved this case based on what was presented. The story jumped around and that left gaps and then suddenly she's got it all worked out and calling the Sheriff. The final chapter made absolutely no sense. Absolutely superfluous. The two characters involved had only been given a brief interaction earlier in the book, but it was made known they were close. Just not as close as became obvious at the end.

In all, I found it disjointed and not an easy read. It shouldn't take 20 days to read 200 pages, but it was just not that interesting and I wasn't compelled to keep reading. I read most of it on a 3-hour flight because there was nothing else to do.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/9154491-deanne-tanksley