Why is it that otherwise intelligent people get goofy when it snows? I was reminded yesterday of a story from my childhood. Arkansas got hit with an ice storm. My mom emails me before 6 AM that the her porch and driveway are slick but she's not sure yet about the roads. She guesses she'll try out her four wheel drive because she has to get her hair done. A hair appointment. Hardly worth the risk of getting out on the ice - in my opinion. (I was informed that it was more involved than just a cut and style).
Took me back a number of years. Any time that it snowed and school was out both my parents were home. All it took was for the newscast to say "Don't get out on the roads unless you absolutely have to" and both my parents would immediately go get in the car and take off. One time they got as far as our neighborhood park (basically around the corner) and had to CRAWL back home on their hands and knees when the car got stuck and it was too slick to walk. I was a teenager at the time so I was old enough to be mortified. I will say that when I was very young - and not old enough to know better - we used to have a big time. We'd go up to the mall parking lot an do donuts in the snow. Only we called them cutting hookers. My parents were/are reasonably smart people but snow was the big weakness. Go figure.
I've also been wondering what George Bush did on the morning of January 21, 2009. I mean think about it - you've spent 8 years with a full staff catering to your every need, daily meetings on all kinds of world issues, phone calls with heads of state, fancy dinners. And then, in less than 24 hours, nothing. You're back to being an ordinary citizen - granted, with not so ordinary bodyguards - with no agenda, no press conference, no briefings. Just your morning coffee and a newspaper and nothing but time in front of you. What would you do? Where would you start? Its like the old saying - Nowhere to go and all day to get there. And Mrs. Bush? If I were her I would have just rolled over for a while, happy to have my privacy back.
This time of year, as I face 60+ hour work weeks, I wonder why I still do this job year after year. After I play tennis for a couple of hours I wonder several things - first Why? and secondly Why didn't we have at least one kid so I wouldn't have to keep picking up the balls all over the court?
But, an inquisitive mind is a healthy mind. I heard that somewhere recently. Maybe my Harry Potter game? I'm too tired to remember for sure.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Customer Service, or the Lack Thereof
Customer service is a dying art.
There's an entire generation of young people who have no idea what a full service gas station is. You remember those - someone else pumped your gas, washed your windshield and checked your oil while you stayed in the car. Now, we rarely even see a human at the gas station. We pay at the pump. But, if we do have to go into the station for some reason we're likely to be growled at or ignored or made to feel as if serving us - the customer - is an inconvenience.
Personally, we no longer frequent several stores in our town because of the lack of customer service. We drive to another town to shop or make multiple stops instead of going to the big discount store. And before you say another word, yes, management knows. My husband actually called the corporate headquarters and let them know what our issues were with our local store. The store manager called and told us our concerns would be addressed at the next staff meeting. That was over two years ago. Maybe they've changed but we just haven't gone back.
I did receive some excellent customer service over Christmas. In fairness, I will also let that store manager know about it. I have, unfortunately, lost the two employees' names that helped me. One gave us a discount on an item that had been returned - without us even asking - and the other directed me to another store that sold the power cord I was looking for. A lot of people, knowing they couldn't sell me anything, would have moved on to the next commission. I appreciated both their efforts to actually help me, not just sell me something.
You have to wonder what is going on. How did we get to this point? And where do we go from here? I think my husband hit on a key factor. People are no longer afraid of losing their jobs. They'll find some way to participate in the myriad social programs offered in the United States, or sue the company for wrongful termination. They'll flip the picture somehow to become a victim. In a very real sense they have nothing to lose and no incentive to do better.
This current trend knows no bounds. Not gender nor race nor age. It's sad, really. We work so hard to earn our money but get so little pleasure when we're trying to give it away. At some point the stores stopped working for the customers. We're just another face coming in to interrupt their day. I guess that's why I feel so compelled to let someone know when I do get good service. I want them to know that it is appreciated. Might stem the downward trend for a little while - at least for that person.
There's an entire generation of young people who have no idea what a full service gas station is. You remember those - someone else pumped your gas, washed your windshield and checked your oil while you stayed in the car. Now, we rarely even see a human at the gas station. We pay at the pump. But, if we do have to go into the station for some reason we're likely to be growled at or ignored or made to feel as if serving us - the customer - is an inconvenience.
Personally, we no longer frequent several stores in our town because of the lack of customer service. We drive to another town to shop or make multiple stops instead of going to the big discount store. And before you say another word, yes, management knows. My husband actually called the corporate headquarters and let them know what our issues were with our local store. The store manager called and told us our concerns would be addressed at the next staff meeting. That was over two years ago. Maybe they've changed but we just haven't gone back.
I did receive some excellent customer service over Christmas. In fairness, I will also let that store manager know about it. I have, unfortunately, lost the two employees' names that helped me. One gave us a discount on an item that had been returned - without us even asking - and the other directed me to another store that sold the power cord I was looking for. A lot of people, knowing they couldn't sell me anything, would have moved on to the next commission. I appreciated both their efforts to actually help me, not just sell me something.
You have to wonder what is going on. How did we get to this point? And where do we go from here? I think my husband hit on a key factor. People are no longer afraid of losing their jobs. They'll find some way to participate in the myriad social programs offered in the United States, or sue the company for wrongful termination. They'll flip the picture somehow to become a victim. In a very real sense they have nothing to lose and no incentive to do better.
This current trend knows no bounds. Not gender nor race nor age. It's sad, really. We work so hard to earn our money but get so little pleasure when we're trying to give it away. At some point the stores stopped working for the customers. We're just another face coming in to interrupt their day. I guess that's why I feel so compelled to let someone know when I do get good service. I want them to know that it is appreciated. Might stem the downward trend for a little while - at least for that person.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Whatever happened to manners?
I've been stewing on this one a couple of days. Who boos an outgoing President? One who kept the terrorists at bay for seven and a half years. How tasteless and tactless. I read Ann Coulter's column this morning and some of this echos her comments.
No one booed Jimmy Carter when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated. I don't have a vivid memory of his administration but I don't remember very many good things.
As much as I detest Bill Clinton, I nor anyone else booed when George W. Bush was inaugurated in his place. I was actually privately doing a dance of joy! I found him to be very embarrassing for this great country that we live in.
Irrespective of what side you voted for, President Barack Obama was duly elected and he will be our leader for the next four years. Get over it. We can all waste a lot of time being negative or we actually become a part of the solution. You know the saying - if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. The problem this country has faced for decades now is that we all refuse to get along. Yes I said refuse.
Cooperation and positiveness are choices we make. Make on a daily basis. If we continue to withhold support for our elected leaders, whether or not we agree with or supported them or even like the color of their suit, we are not going to make the progress that we need to make as a world power. I'll bet there are already plans in place to decide who the Republican candidate will be in four years.
I do not agree with most of President Obama's positions. I think closing Guantanamo Bay will come back to haunt us one day, and in a big way. I think pouring more and more money into a free market system may not be the best idea either. But I am willing to sit back and be proven wrong. I'm willing to not assume that I am definitively correct and he is unequivocally wrong.
I am willing to give the guy a chance and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, then put me on the nominations search committee for the Republican Party. I have a long list of names that I would love to see elected. And if there is a change in the administration four years from now, I may say I told you so, but I won't boo the Obamas on their way out. I was raised better than that.
No one booed Jimmy Carter when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated. I don't have a vivid memory of his administration but I don't remember very many good things.
As much as I detest Bill Clinton, I nor anyone else booed when George W. Bush was inaugurated in his place. I was actually privately doing a dance of joy! I found him to be very embarrassing for this great country that we live in.
Irrespective of what side you voted for, President Barack Obama was duly elected and he will be our leader for the next four years. Get over it. We can all waste a lot of time being negative or we actually become a part of the solution. You know the saying - if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. The problem this country has faced for decades now is that we all refuse to get along. Yes I said refuse.
Cooperation and positiveness are choices we make. Make on a daily basis. If we continue to withhold support for our elected leaders, whether or not we agree with or supported them or even like the color of their suit, we are not going to make the progress that we need to make as a world power. I'll bet there are already plans in place to decide who the Republican candidate will be in four years.
I do not agree with most of President Obama's positions. I think closing Guantanamo Bay will come back to haunt us one day, and in a big way. I think pouring more and more money into a free market system may not be the best idea either. But I am willing to sit back and be proven wrong. I'm willing to not assume that I am definitively correct and he is unequivocally wrong.
I am willing to give the guy a chance and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, then put me on the nominations search committee for the Republican Party. I have a long list of names that I would love to see elected. And if there is a change in the administration four years from now, I may say I told you so, but I won't boo the Obamas on their way out. I was raised better than that.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Back to Business
I will give the new President his day tomorrow. But on Wednesday I will start to expect results. I want the new Congress to work together - for a change. I want the Republicans to support President Obama - unlike the Democrats did for President Bush. I want my elected representatives to actually represent ME. (And don't think they don't know where I stand. I let them know. When the whole bailout package come up I sent strongly worded messages to all the Presidential candidates and my representatives. I'm happy to say my Senators rejected the initial package.)
In other words I would like government to work as it was intended. Making the best decisions for the majority of the people. Not acting like children who don't play well together. I think the term "maverick" was WAY over used in the last election but I agree with the overall notion. Vote your conscience not the party line. Do what you think is best, what you think is right - not what the Monday morning memo says you're supposed to do.
Apparently I also have a dream.
In other words I would like government to work as it was intended. Making the best decisions for the majority of the people. Not acting like children who don't play well together. I think the term "maverick" was WAY over used in the last election but I agree with the overall notion. Vote your conscience not the party line. Do what you think is best, what you think is right - not what the Monday morning memo says you're supposed to do.
Apparently I also have a dream.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Things I Don't Like
This post should probably come with warning but here goes.
Why is it if you tell someone that is a supporter of our President-Elect Obama that you are not a a supporter then you are somehow a racist? Why can't I just oppose him on principle - since his principles are basically where I differ? I didn't call people who supported Bill Clinton rednecks.
I try very hard to leave race out of conversations. I was reading a list of potential board members for a group I belong to and came across an unfamiliar name and asked who she was. I was told she was "dynamic black woman who...". I thought to myself, if someone asks about me am I described as a white woman? Probably not.
I was telling a story over the holidays and talking about someone and giving an accurate picture of this person and was interrupted for someone to say "she was a black lady who...". Completely unnecessary to story to give the skin color. It added nothing to what I was saying.
I would gladly support JC Watts of Oklahoma or Dr. Condolezza Rice for higher office. I have the utmost respect for their abilities and leadership. I might even break my own rule and put a sign in my yard if they were to run.
Its 2009. I just find it hard to believe that we all still have to put a color label on people. I'm not trying to belittle the sense of pride being felt throughout the black community. I get it. There are a lot of women that I think would make a wonderful President and I will burst with pride should any of them get elected. But just because I'm not busting at the seams over this President should not be misconstrued.
I'm a conservative, not a racist. There is a difference.
Why is it if you tell someone that is a supporter of our President-Elect Obama that you are not a a supporter then you are somehow a racist? Why can't I just oppose him on principle - since his principles are basically where I differ? I didn't call people who supported Bill Clinton rednecks.
I try very hard to leave race out of conversations. I was reading a list of potential board members for a group I belong to and came across an unfamiliar name and asked who she was. I was told she was "dynamic black woman who...". I thought to myself, if someone asks about me am I described as a
I was telling a story over the holidays and talking about someone and giving an accurate picture of this person and was interrupted for someone to say "she was a black lady who...". Completely unnecessary to story to give the skin color. It added nothing to what I was saying.
I would gladly support JC Watts of Oklahoma or Dr. Condolezza Rice for higher office. I have the utmost respect for their abilities and leadership. I might even break my own rule and put a sign in my yard if they were to run.
Its 2009. I just find it hard to believe that we all still have to put a color label on people. I'm not trying to belittle the sense of pride being felt throughout the black community. I get it. There are a lot of women that I think would make a wonderful President and I will burst with pride should any of them get elected. But just because I'm not busting at the seams over this President should not be misconstrued.
I'm a conservative, not a racist. There is a difference.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Changing a lifestyle, changing lives
In January 2007 I did a fairly simple thing. We have a community event called HealthQuest each January and I decided to go in 2007. Primarily because for $15 you got your blood work done at the beginning and end of the three month event - tested your glucose, cholesterol, triglycerides. Can't get that at the doctor's office! So I paid my money and took my place in line. Step one, blood pressure. Step two, weight and BMI (note the blood pressure reading is taken BEFORE the weight). Step three, draw blood. Step one, no problem. I'm so far below average that I'm often mistaken for dead. Step two - huge problem.
I was suddenly faced with the fact that having a positive body image is not always a good thing. I absolutely could not believe the number on the scale looking up at me. Now mind you we were using the scales from the local Weight Watchers chapter so these were the real thing. No arguing with them. I walked around in shock for quite a while after that. I had no idea I weighed that much.
I could give a lot of history and reasons as to how I got to that point. But the reality of it all comes back to lifestyle choices. In college I exercised an hour and a half 5 or 6 days a week. Walked around campus and on daily errands so I wouldn't lose my parking spot at the dorm. And I didn't eat great but it wasn't that bad either. Lifestyle choices. All that changed after I graduated and started working in the real world. Then I got married. And I ignored a previously diagnosed insulin condition that eventually got completely out of hand. (Moral of that story - if you decide to get a second medical opinion about a health issue and that opinion is vastly different from the first then go get a third to break the impasse. A very naive 20 year old took the advice that she liked best and was easier and not necessarily the best).
On that day in January 2007 I started changing my lifestyle choices. Part of HealthQuest was weekly meetings where you would learn new exercises or hear dietitians speak or something health-related. Nothing they said was new stuff but I heard it with different ears. I started walking. I ate my meals on a salad plate. I started keeping food logs. At the end of the three months I had lost 12 pounds. I managed to lose another 4 unaided by year's end.
Then I signed up again last year. The program changed some and I couldn't attend the meetings but I did make the Monday morning weigh-ins. It reinvigorated my efforts. I dropped another 30 pounds last year. On my own.
Foolishly I thought I could do this without anyone noticing. Don't know what I was thinking. I'm only 5'1" so gaining and losing 1 or 2 pounds shows. 50 has made me unrecognizable to some people that I don't see often. And I'm very uncomfortable with that aspect. I did not want to draw any attention to myself (save that for the stage) and I really don't like to talk about it. I did it for my health not my appearance. Of all the people that have noticed and commented on the weight loss only 3 have asked if I was sick or lost the weight intentionally before telling me that it looks good.
But I've learned that the comments (compliments) go with the territory. The real plus to those conversations is how many people have started making their own changes. Sort of "if she can do it I can do it" thing. I've been called an inspiration by some. I am directly or indirectly responsible for the increase in Wii sales in this area. (I added a Wii to my exercise for the summer since it is too hot and sticky around here to continue walking to work. Word got out and at least 6 or 7 people I know now have Wiis and use them for exercise.) Hello Nintendo!! A Christmas card would have been nice.
Now there is a little pressure with this. I can't backslide (not that I want to) because I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself, or disappoint. A little pressure is a good thing. I still have about 10 pounds to go. And yes those last stubborn 10 pounds have been the hardest! I know I'll make it. I don't push too hard. I enjoyed the holidays and didn't worry too much. I don't want to go back to where I was but I'm not uncomfortable with where I am now. The most important thing - I did it for me. For my health. For my future. Had nothing to do with how I looked. I thought I looked pretty good. And the person inside the shell is the same at 108 or 180. And if I can help someone else make the same changes for the same right reasons then I'm happy to do so.
Makes you stop and think how many people you might influence in your life. Especially all those that you never know about. You never know who all is watching how you live your life. Talk about pressure.
I was suddenly faced with the fact that having a positive body image is not always a good thing. I absolutely could not believe the number on the scale looking up at me. Now mind you we were using the scales from the local Weight Watchers chapter so these were the real thing. No arguing with them. I walked around in shock for quite a while after that. I had no idea I weighed that much.
I could give a lot of history and reasons as to how I got to that point. But the reality of it all comes back to lifestyle choices. In college I exercised an hour and a half 5 or 6 days a week. Walked around campus and on daily errands so I wouldn't lose my parking spot at the dorm. And I didn't eat great but it wasn't that bad either. Lifestyle choices. All that changed after I graduated and started working in the real world. Then I got married. And I ignored a previously diagnosed insulin condition that eventually got completely out of hand. (Moral of that story - if you decide to get a second medical opinion about a health issue and that opinion is vastly different from the first then go get a third to break the impasse. A very naive 20 year old took the advice that she liked best and was easier and not necessarily the best).
On that day in January 2007 I started changing my lifestyle choices. Part of HealthQuest was weekly meetings where you would learn new exercises or hear dietitians speak or something health-related. Nothing they said was new stuff but I heard it with different ears. I started walking. I ate my meals on a salad plate. I started keeping food logs. At the end of the three months I had lost 12 pounds. I managed to lose another 4 unaided by year's end.
Then I signed up again last year. The program changed some and I couldn't attend the meetings but I did make the Monday morning weigh-ins. It reinvigorated my efforts. I dropped another 30 pounds last year. On my own.
Foolishly I thought I could do this without anyone noticing. Don't know what I was thinking. I'm only 5'1" so gaining and losing 1 or 2 pounds shows. 50 has made me unrecognizable to some people that I don't see often. And I'm very uncomfortable with that aspect. I did not want to draw any attention to myself (save that for the stage) and I really don't like to talk about it. I did it for my health not my appearance. Of all the people that have noticed and commented on the weight loss only 3 have asked if I was sick or lost the weight intentionally before telling me that it looks good.
But I've learned that the comments (compliments) go with the territory. The real plus to those conversations is how many people have started making their own changes. Sort of "if she can do it I can do it" thing. I've been called an inspiration by some. I am directly or indirectly responsible for the increase in Wii sales in this area. (I added a Wii to my exercise for the summer since it is too hot and sticky around here to continue walking to work. Word got out and at least 6 or 7 people I know now have Wiis and use them for exercise.) Hello Nintendo!! A Christmas card would have been nice.
Now there is a little pressure with this. I can't backslide (not that I want to) because I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself, or disappoint. A little pressure is a good thing. I still have about 10 pounds to go. And yes those last stubborn 10 pounds have been the hardest! I know I'll make it. I don't push too hard. I enjoyed the holidays and didn't worry too much. I don't want to go back to where I was but I'm not uncomfortable with where I am now. The most important thing - I did it for me. For my health. For my future. Had nothing to do with how I looked. I thought I looked pretty good. And the person inside the shell is the same at 108 or 180. And if I can help someone else make the same changes for the same right reasons then I'm happy to do so.
Makes you stop and think how many people you might influence in your life. Especially all those that you never know about. You never know who all is watching how you live your life. Talk about pressure.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
My Season
Today sort of starts "my season". What season is that you ask? College football ended last week. The NFL and college basketball have been going on since last fall. No one cares about the NBA. Major league baseball, tennis and even NASCAR are imminent, but haven't started yet.
Awards season. I LOVE the award shows! I will camp out in front of the television at the start of the red carpet arrival shows, even though no one has arrived yet, and watch until the credits roll after the last award is handed out.
In general, I love the arts. Theatre, movies, music, you name it. I love to watch, I love to participate and I love to create. And I get a real kick out of celebrity watching. I think it is, on some level, because they get to earn a living doing what they love and what I wish I could do. I have no desire to be photographed from every angle or my every breath recorded in a magazine. I do not in the least envy their lifestyle, but I do their livelihood. When I'm in a theatre production it is such a rush to go on stage. In my first real role I entered the stage as the curtain opened. Alone on stage. I think the director was very nervous that this novice was going to freeze up and checked with me several times to make sure I was "OK". Never better. I grabbed my tray (I was cast as Della the maid in "Royal Family") and walked out when the phone started ringing and hit my cue. I've loved it ever since.
I have no grand illusions that I'm good at it. But, I don't think I'm too terrible and community theatre is supposed to be about having fun. I've always enjoyed performing. We (my sister, or friends or other relatives and I) would put on shows when I was growing up. One side of my family went caroling on Christmas Eve in my grandparents' neighborhood. Even marching in the band in high school was a kick. I didn't mind the practicing, still don't mind rehearsals, and hearing the crowd cheer or the audience applaud just fills me with pride.
And I have learned that I have not been alone in these pursuits. I have an aunt that acted in theatre productions in college and I have a cousin that sings country music in Nashville. There may be others, I'm just not aware of them yet.
So, today begins my season. As with any other major event (Super Bowl, Daytona 500, World Series, any tennis grand slam event), unless someone is bleeding or dying, its best not to call me after 3 today. I will not be checking emails or text messages. I will not be in.
Awards season. I LOVE the award shows! I will camp out in front of the television at the start of the red carpet arrival shows, even though no one has arrived yet, and watch until the credits roll after the last award is handed out.
In general, I love the arts. Theatre, movies, music, you name it. I love to watch, I love to participate and I love to create. And I get a real kick out of celebrity watching. I think it is, on some level, because they get to earn a living doing what they love and what I wish I could do. I have no desire to be photographed from every angle or my every breath recorded in a magazine. I do not in the least envy their lifestyle, but I do their livelihood. When I'm in a theatre production it is such a rush to go on stage. In my first real role I entered the stage as the curtain opened. Alone on stage. I think the director was very nervous that this novice was going to freeze up and checked with me several times to make sure I was "OK". Never better. I grabbed my tray (I was cast as Della the maid in "Royal Family") and walked out when the phone started ringing and hit my cue. I've loved it ever since.
I have no grand illusions that I'm good at it. But, I don't think I'm too terrible and community theatre is supposed to be about having fun. I've always enjoyed performing. We (my sister, or friends or other relatives and I) would put on shows when I was growing up. One side of my family went caroling on Christmas Eve in my grandparents' neighborhood. Even marching in the band in high school was a kick. I didn't mind the practicing, still don't mind rehearsals, and hearing the crowd cheer or the audience applaud just fills me with pride.
And I have learned that I have not been alone in these pursuits. I have an aunt that acted in theatre productions in college and I have a cousin that sings country music in Nashville. There may be others, I'm just not aware of them yet.
So, today begins my season. As with any other major event (Super Bowl, Daytona 500, World Series, any tennis grand slam event), unless someone is bleeding or dying, its best not to call me after 3 today. I will not be checking emails or text messages. I will not be in.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Guardian Angels
I believe in spirits. I have seen them. I have smelled them. I have felt them. And I actually take great comfort in knowing they are there.
I realize that a lot of people don't believe, for religious reasons or just as a skeptic, but I think that believing in spirits is just an extension of believing in life after death. What is the point of believing that we'll go to Heaven some day if all we're going to do is sit around? There's work to be done! Yes, I believe that God is omnipotent and could do all the work himself, but why should He? Why not put all those spirits to work?
I had the privilege one time to wake up one morning only to see my grandfather and cousin standing at the foot of the bed. Just as solid and real as if they were actually there. This was 1995 and my cousin had died in 1987 and my grandfather the year before. About the time it hit me what I was seeing they disappeared and a very cold breeze blew over me. I'm not sure why they were there, but I know they were. I had other experiences in junior high and high school with situations that couldn't be explained any way other than having a guardian angel.
My dad and I were very close. I had the honor, thanks to my aunt's request/suggestion, to speak at my daddy's funeral. One of the absolute toughest but most rewarding things I have ever done. As I finished I gathered my papers and headed back to my seat. In my ear, just as plain as day was Daddy's voice. "Way to go Bud".
Less than two years later I credit him with helping me in a car accident. I am very aware of how this will sound. I was driving to work one morning, fairly quickly down the interstate. Another car decided it wanted to be in my lane right where I happened to be. I pulled to the left and ended up hitting a construction retaining wall (I do blame all the salt and sand and ice that line the interstate in Kansas City in February). The car started spinning down the interstate. I had something of an out-of-body experience at that point and from outside the car I could see a huge hand reach down and keep turning the car but it turned while staying in the same lane. I didn't go all over the road. I didn't hit anyone else. I hit the retaining wall several times - the only part of the car that didn't get replaced were the two doors. And I walked away. And without thinking I said "Thank you, Daddy". I just knew.
I guess I just take comfort in knowing that the people I love and helped take care of me while I was growing up are still doing just that - looking out for me an helping me. And, bizarrely I know, I'm actually looking forward to doing the same thing some day (a VERY long time from now I hope!). Helping to look after grand and great-grand nieces and nephews. Watching over the family from a different angle. Being a guardian angel.
In the meantime I'll try not to give my guardian angel too much of a workout.
I realize that a lot of people don't believe, for religious reasons or just as a skeptic, but I think that believing in spirits is just an extension of believing in life after death. What is the point of believing that we'll go to Heaven some day if all we're going to do is sit around? There's work to be done! Yes, I believe that God is omnipotent and could do all the work himself, but why should He? Why not put all those spirits to work?
I had the privilege one time to wake up one morning only to see my grandfather and cousin standing at the foot of the bed. Just as solid and real as if they were actually there. This was 1995 and my cousin had died in 1987 and my grandfather the year before. About the time it hit me what I was seeing they disappeared and a very cold breeze blew over me. I'm not sure why they were there, but I know they were. I had other experiences in junior high and high school with situations that couldn't be explained any way other than having a guardian angel.
My dad and I were very close. I had the honor, thanks to my aunt's request/suggestion, to speak at my daddy's funeral. One of the absolute toughest but most rewarding things I have ever done. As I finished I gathered my papers and headed back to my seat. In my ear, just as plain as day was Daddy's voice. "Way to go Bud".
Less than two years later I credit him with helping me in a car accident. I am very aware of how this will sound. I was driving to work one morning, fairly quickly down the interstate. Another car decided it wanted to be in my lane right where I happened to be. I pulled to the left and ended up hitting a construction retaining wall (I do blame all the salt and sand and ice that line the interstate in Kansas City in February). The car started spinning down the interstate. I had something of an out-of-body experience at that point and from outside the car I could see a huge hand reach down and keep turning the car but it turned while staying in the same lane. I didn't go all over the road. I didn't hit anyone else. I hit the retaining wall several times - the only part of the car that didn't get replaced were the two doors. And I walked away. And without thinking I said "Thank you, Daddy". I just knew.
I guess I just take comfort in knowing that the people I love and helped take care of me while I was growing up are still doing just that - looking out for me an helping me. And, bizarrely I know, I'm actually looking forward to doing the same thing some day (a VERY long time from now I hope!). Helping to look after grand and great-grand nieces and nephews. Watching over the family from a different angle. Being a guardian angel.
In the meantime I'll try not to give my guardian angel too much of a workout.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Puppy Love
We never intended to have a family of 7. I'm not entirely sure that we ever thought past the first one! And while I'm not embarrassed to have such a large family I don't always share the information voluntarily. People will make the rudest comments or give you the strangest looks! As if it is any of their business. I get similar looks and comments when people find out that I don't have any traditional children. One husband, married almost 20 years, no kids. No, I will not change my mind someday. No I don't want to borrow one to see what I'm missing. It is no one's business why my husband chose this lifestyle but some people still feel free to ask the questions or provide an opinion. Believe me, the ship has sailed on the childbearing.
Anyway, as I sit here looking at all 7 quietly sleeping I can tell you that I wouldn't trade one minute of it. And I'd defy anyone who doesn't think I'm their "momma". They certainly think so. Like many children, Sadie wants a hug when she gets up in the morning. At 4:45 this morning I rolled over to see her little face squished up between the bed and my night stand. Tail just a wagging! What better way to start the day! I had another one, Frankie, pressed up against my back - an excellent snuggle buddy. I have two "feet warmers" that take turns during the night. And I get met at the door every day with a tangle of bodies, big an small, trying to get to me and lick my face. No more troubles after that.
All of us were given different talents. Not everyone was meant to be a mom or a dad. Some of us are pretty terrific aunts. The challenge is to find what you do well, and then do it. And do it as well as you possibly can. Go big or go home! My dad always said that's why they made chocolate and vanilla - something for everyone.
For us, there is a big soft spot for puppy dogs. They find us more than we go looking for them. But I think we do it well. We have 7 fairly well-adjusted animals that love us more than life itself. Unconditional love. We deal with the up-all-nights when we're house training or one is sick. We deal with doctors and medications and all that. We just don't have to buy $100 tennis shoes or fund a college education. It works for us.
I just sometimes wish people would exercise the "unconditional" part.
Anyway, as I sit here looking at all 7 quietly sleeping I can tell you that I wouldn't trade one minute of it. And I'd defy anyone who doesn't think I'm their "momma". They certainly think so. Like many children, Sadie wants a hug when she gets up in the morning. At 4:45 this morning I rolled over to see her little face squished up between the bed and my night stand. Tail just a wagging! What better way to start the day! I had another one, Frankie, pressed up against my back - an excellent snuggle buddy. I have two "feet warmers" that take turns during the night. And I get met at the door every day with a tangle of bodies, big an small, trying to get to me and lick my face. No more troubles after that.
All of us were given different talents. Not everyone was meant to be a mom or a dad. Some of us are pretty terrific aunts. The challenge is to find what you do well, and then do it. And do it as well as you possibly can. Go big or go home! My dad always said that's why they made chocolate and vanilla - something for everyone.
For us, there is a big soft spot for puppy dogs. They find us more than we go looking for them. But I think we do it well. We have 7 fairly well-adjusted animals that love us more than life itself. Unconditional love. We deal with the up-all-nights when we're house training or one is sick. We deal with doctors and medications and all that. We just don't have to buy $100 tennis shoes or fund a college education. It works for us.
I just sometimes wish people would exercise the "unconditional" part.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Christmas on the Inside
My husband made sure I noticed earlier today that he had started gathering up some of the Christmas decorations and placing them by the "Christmas closet". He wasn't boxing them up, just getting them to the right place. I let him know that his efforts had not gone unnoticed. And then I asked why. His response - Christmas is over.
But does it have to be? I asked why it couldn't still be Christmas on the inside. I did finally relent and started pulling in the outside garlands and bows. The tree and presents that sit on the front porch. All but the reindeer ears on one of the "sculptures" that sits by the door. They are all tangled up and I'm not sure how to get them off. Then I came back inside and announced there was no move evidence of Christmas on the outside.
But it is still Christmas on the inside. The tree is still up, the table still decorated. More importantly, it is Christmas inside ME. I want to try and keep that feeling a little longer. People really are nicer to each other during December. They hold open doors when your arms are full. Some might even let you take the closer parking slot in the lot if they really have the spirit!
Why don't we keep Christmas inside? How hard is it really? To treat our fellow man with respect; to be kind and helpful? Why do we wait until a designated date to give gifts to those we love, or just those we want to let know we care? (For the record, my husband and I never exchange gifts on designated dates - birthdays, Valentine's, anniversary, Christmas - we do give gifts when we find something the other one would want or need or appreciate - all year long). Why don't we remain Christ-like in mid-March, or late August, or the day after Thanksgiving? If you've ever gone out shopping on Black Friday you know Jesus is not on people's minds. Why not leave the Nativity scene out year round as a reminder?
Maybe the world, or at least our immediate environment, might be just a little nicer, more pleasant place to be. And it can start with us. Someone has to take the first step, be a leader. Try it.
But does it have to be? I asked why it couldn't still be Christmas on the inside. I did finally relent and started pulling in the outside garlands and bows. The tree and presents that sit on the front porch. All but the reindeer ears on one of the "sculptures" that sits by the door. They are all tangled up and I'm not sure how to get them off. Then I came back inside and announced there was no move evidence of Christmas on the outside.
But it is still Christmas on the inside. The tree is still up, the table still decorated. More importantly, it is Christmas inside ME. I want to try and keep that feeling a little longer. People really are nicer to each other during December. They hold open doors when your arms are full. Some might even let you take the closer parking slot in the lot if they really have the spirit!
Why don't we keep Christmas inside? How hard is it really? To treat our fellow man with respect; to be kind and helpful? Why do we wait until a designated date to give gifts to those we love, or just those we want to let know we care? (For the record, my husband and I never exchange gifts on designated dates - birthdays, Valentine's, anniversary, Christmas - we do give gifts when we find something the other one would want or need or appreciate - all year long). Why don't we remain Christ-like in mid-March, or late August, or the day after Thanksgiving? If you've ever gone out shopping on Black Friday you know Jesus is not on people's minds. Why not leave the Nativity scene out year round as a reminder?
Maybe the world, or at least our immediate environment, might be just a little nicer, more pleasant place to be. And it can start with us. Someone has to take the first step, be a leader. Try it.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year, Old Thoughts
I keep a journal. I have since I was about 6 or 7, which was a very long time ago. I no longer write every day. Some nights I fall asleep before I hit the bed, but I do try to chronicle the big events or big emotions in my world, or the world in general.
I always write on New Year's Eve. I reflect on the year just passed. I also set my goals for the new year. Never resolutions - only goals. You can always be working towards a goal where a resolution can be broken immediately. Once broken, few ever look back and start over.
This past year had its share of ups and downs. I lost family members. I watched a friend bury her 21 year old son. I experienced another friend's joy when her daughter and son-in-law were finally able to adopt a child. I saw other family members deteriorate physically and mentally and still others step up to the plate. My family (both sides) added members. I'd call them new babies but my dad always pointed out that "new" is the only way that babies come so it is somewhat redundant. Daddy was a wise old soul in that sense.
This country made history last year in the presidental election. History was going to be made no matter what - either the first black president or first female vice president. Whether or not you agreed with the outcome, it was history in the making and we were all part of it. I thought at the time about my almost 95 year old grandmother. No women or black citizens could even vote when she was born. Think about all the changes she's lived through. And they are good changes. This country is finally approaching, in my opinion, what was intended from the start. Anyone can be nominated for any office in this nation and everyone gets the right to vote. All should have an equal voice in how this country is run. One voice, one vote.
The economy has been better. But it has also been worse. And the people survived when times were hard. And we'll all survive again and come out better on the other side. Sometimes I think we need these reminders of how good we actually have things. Lots of countries haven't even blinked at paying $4 a gallon for gas, and have seen that for years. It pops up on our gas pumps and everyone freaks out. Of course now that it is down to just over a $1 people are still freaking out. We're never happy I guess.
So, 2008 was the best of times and it was the worst of times. As were most of the years before it and as will be the ones to come. The question is always what we do with what we're handed. Make the most of the time you have. Hug your kids (or your pets), love and support your spouse. Treat your parents with respect - even if you don't always think they deserve it. They've been here longer, lived through and seen more than you have. Be kind to the people you run across each day. You have no way of knowing what kind of day they're having and a smile and kind word may be all they need to get through it. Maybe someone will do the same for you when you're having a bad day. Improve yourself. Learn to relax. Do what you need to do to be a better you.
My goals - learn Italian so my husband and I can go there for our 20th anniversary; attend my 25th high school reunion this summer and reconnect with old friends; call my grandmother more often while I still can. Be the best wife, daughter and sister I can be - a challenge while also being the best employee I can be. Try to find that right balance to keep everyone in my universe, including myself, happy.
Happy 2009. I hope it is a wonderful year for you.
I always write on New Year's Eve. I reflect on the year just passed. I also set my goals for the new year. Never resolutions - only goals. You can always be working towards a goal where a resolution can be broken immediately. Once broken, few ever look back and start over.
This past year had its share of ups and downs. I lost family members. I watched a friend bury her 21 year old son. I experienced another friend's joy when her daughter and son-in-law were finally able to adopt a child. I saw other family members deteriorate physically and mentally and still others step up to the plate. My family (both sides) added members. I'd call them new babies but my dad always pointed out that "new" is the only way that babies come so it is somewhat redundant. Daddy was a wise old soul in that sense.
This country made history last year in the presidental election. History was going to be made no matter what - either the first black president or first female vice president. Whether or not you agreed with the outcome, it was history in the making and we were all part of it. I thought at the time about my almost 95 year old grandmother. No women or black citizens could even vote when she was born. Think about all the changes she's lived through. And they are good changes. This country is finally approaching, in my opinion, what was intended from the start. Anyone can be nominated for any office in this nation and everyone gets the right to vote. All should have an equal voice in how this country is run. One voice, one vote.
The economy has been better. But it has also been worse. And the people survived when times were hard. And we'll all survive again and come out better on the other side. Sometimes I think we need these reminders of how good we actually have things. Lots of countries haven't even blinked at paying $4 a gallon for gas, and have seen that for years. It pops up on our gas pumps and everyone freaks out. Of course now that it is down to just over a $1 people are still freaking out. We're never happy I guess.
So, 2008 was the best of times and it was the worst of times. As were most of the years before it and as will be the ones to come. The question is always what we do with what we're handed. Make the most of the time you have. Hug your kids (or your pets), love and support your spouse. Treat your parents with respect - even if you don't always think they deserve it. They've been here longer, lived through and seen more than you have. Be kind to the people you run across each day. You have no way of knowing what kind of day they're having and a smile and kind word may be all they need to get through it. Maybe someone will do the same for you when you're having a bad day. Improve yourself. Learn to relax. Do what you need to do to be a better you.
My goals - learn Italian so my husband and I can go there for our 20th anniversary; attend my 25th high school reunion this summer and reconnect with old friends; call my grandmother more often while I still can. Be the best wife, daughter and sister I can be - a challenge while also being the best employee I can be. Try to find that right balance to keep everyone in my universe, including myself, happy.
Happy 2009. I hope it is a wonderful year for you.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Setbacks
We suffered a setback today. After about a month with no seizures, Seizure Dog had 3 today in about 12 hours. The first one was at 3 this morning, the last around 3 this afternoon. He's also had almost three times his normal medication. I'm having a little pity party because I'm 100 miles away stuck in a hotel and my husband has had to deal with it all by himself. Yes, he's a big boy. No, it wouldn't be any different if I were home. No, I couldn't do anything that he isn't doing. But yes, I do wish I were there. I could hold the dog's head to keep him from hurting himself. I could feed him ice cream to pump his glucose back up after the seizure. I could just hold him and try to give comfort. I could give my husband a break so he could rest.
But here I sit.
Setbacks can be tough to handle. We'd been rocking along; thinking all was well. Proud of ourselves for rescuing another of God's creatures. So pleased that it had been so easy.
Sometimes we need those "reminders". We're not always in charge. Contrary to popular belief. Its tough to step back. To "let go and let God". We all like to have a certain amount of control. Not everyone is a control freak, but to totally let go is really tough as well. Its all in how we handle the setback. Do we regress? or fight harder? Do we accept the changes needed? or are we stubborn and insist our way is better? Do we reach out for help, and accept that which is given? Or do we give up and forget all about doing whatever it is? Setbacks are sometimes good things. They can serve as an opportunity to reassess, adjust, and attack the problem anew.
For us, I know that we didn't do anything in this case to cause the seizures. We have searched the house for any kind of triggers, kept logs of circumstances when there were seizures looking for commonalities. We've set reminders to keep the medication on the same daily schedule. I hope, for the little dog's sake, that this setback is very temporary. My wish is that he'll be up and running with the pack again tomorrow - more heavily medicated that he was yesterday - but back to his old self. And we'll take all the information in and see what we do need to do differently to change the course and stay on it.
But here I sit.
Setbacks can be tough to handle. We'd been rocking along; thinking all was well. Proud of ourselves for rescuing another of God's creatures. So pleased that it had been so easy.
Sometimes we need those "reminders". We're not always in charge. Contrary to popular belief. Its tough to step back. To "let go and let God". We all like to have a certain amount of control. Not everyone is a control freak, but to totally let go is really tough as well. Its all in how we handle the setback. Do we regress? or fight harder? Do we accept the changes needed? or are we stubborn and insist our way is better? Do we reach out for help, and accept that which is given? Or do we give up and forget all about doing whatever it is? Setbacks are sometimes good things. They can serve as an opportunity to reassess, adjust, and attack the problem anew.
For us, I know that we didn't do anything in this case to cause the seizures. We have searched the house for any kind of triggers, kept logs of circumstances when there were seizures looking for commonalities. We've set reminders to keep the medication on the same daily schedule. I hope, for the little dog's sake, that this setback is very temporary. My wish is that he'll be up and running with the pack again tomorrow - more heavily medicated that he was yesterday - but back to his old self. And we'll take all the information in and see what we do need to do differently to change the course and stay on it.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Equal Time
Lest anyone think my memories are one-sided, I wanted to share this one. Snow days. We had one here in town the other day when the winter storm blew through. Mind you, there was no snow, but there was the threat and some sleet so the schools all closed. Apparently there were a few extra days left over from the hurricane.....
Anyway, my husband commented that he used to love snow days but figured I hated them, being the geeky nerdy kid that I was. No so.
My mom was a school teacher so she was home with us all day. Snow days were some of the rare days that mom would venture into the kitchen (sorry Mom, but you didn't cook much when we were growing up!) We used to make homemade hot chocolate - the kind that you had to mix up in a giant bowl first (a full can of cocoa, a full box of powered milk, a large container of creamer, etc.) and then store the mix in large containers or split it and share it with your friends. It seemed to make the best hot chocolate! And since snow days were very rare in our part of the country, it would be awhile until you'd make more so you'd savor each cup.
And then there were the baked goods! Mom always loved to make an ooey gooey butter cake. Delicious! Couldn't even sniff at a piece right now without gaining 5 pounds, but those cakes were to die for. And the peanut butter cookies that you pressed a Hershey's kiss into while they were hot so the chocolate would melt. Mmmmm.. We used to get the task of unwrapping all the kisses while Mom rolled the cookies in sugar. Of course, we used the roll of peanut butter cookie dough so that made the process a little faster. Those cookies didn't last long. Later on there were other cakes introduced into the process. The pina colada cake was fun because you got to poke holes in it with a straw and then suck the cake out of the straw. No telling how many germs we probably shared. But we were all family.
Anyway. Other good memories from the simple stuff. Stuff to share. Hopefully I've been successful at creating a few of these with my loved ones.
Anyway, my husband commented that he used to love snow days but figured I hated them, being the geeky nerdy kid that I was. No so.
My mom was a school teacher so she was home with us all day. Snow days were some of the rare days that mom would venture into the kitchen (sorry Mom, but you didn't cook much when we were growing up!) We used to make homemade hot chocolate - the kind that you had to mix up in a giant bowl first (a full can of cocoa, a full box of powered milk, a large container of creamer, etc.) and then store the mix in large containers or split it and share it with your friends. It seemed to make the best hot chocolate! And since snow days were very rare in our part of the country, it would be awhile until you'd make more so you'd savor each cup.
And then there were the baked goods! Mom always loved to make an ooey gooey butter cake. Delicious! Couldn't even sniff at a piece right now without gaining 5 pounds, but those cakes were to die for. And the peanut butter cookies that you pressed a Hershey's kiss into while they were hot so the chocolate would melt. Mmmmm.. We used to get the task of unwrapping all the kisses while Mom rolled the cookies in sugar. Of course, we used the roll of peanut butter cookie dough so that made the process a little faster. Those cookies didn't last long. Later on there were other cakes introduced into the process. The pina colada cake was fun because you got to poke holes in it with a straw and then suck the cake out of the straw. No telling how many germs we probably shared. But we were all family.
Anyway. Other good memories from the simple stuff. Stuff to share. Hopefully I've been successful at creating a few of these with my loved ones.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Memories
While my dad is never very far from my thoughts, he is especially close at Christmas. There are some annoying traits that we share and he has been front and center the last couple of days.
I remember Daddy stacking up six or seven Christmas albums on the old stereo and just letting them play. And play. And play. Absolutely drove my mother nuts! While the technology has changed, I just put on the Christmas music channel on DirecTv, the end result is the same. I've been playing the music this week while I try to decorate the house. My husband, not a fan.
Next thing, the Christmas lights. I had visions last night of my dad with the lights strung out all over the den trying to find the bulb that was out. Strands and strands of lights all over the room. My problem last night was that I hung all the lights on the tree FIRST - before I checked to see if they worked. Two of the six strings did. So I had to take them all down and unplug all the bad ones and start over. The bottom third of the tree is illuminated. Husband has on his to do list to go buy more lights.
The other thing I like to do, once all the lights are on the tree, is to sit in the dark and look at the lights and listen to the above-mentioned Christmas music. I can't tell you how many times I found Daddy in the chair in the living room doing just that. And I would join him. And I believe in my heart that he joins me now when I do it.
Funny how the simplest things can make the best memories. No big planned, constructed memories. Just the everyday stuff that sticks. Think about it.
I remember Daddy stacking up six or seven Christmas albums on the old stereo and just letting them play. And play. And play. Absolutely drove my mother nuts! While the technology has changed, I just put on the Christmas music channel on DirecTv, the end result is the same. I've been playing the music this week while I try to decorate the house. My husband, not a fan.
Next thing, the Christmas lights. I had visions last night of my dad with the lights strung out all over the den trying to find the bulb that was out. Strands and strands of lights all over the room. My problem last night was that I hung all the lights on the tree FIRST - before I checked to see if they worked. Two of the six strings did. So I had to take them all down and unplug all the bad ones and start over. The bottom third of the tree is illuminated. Husband has on his to do list to go buy more lights.
The other thing I like to do, once all the lights are on the tree, is to sit in the dark and look at the lights and listen to the above-mentioned Christmas music. I can't tell you how many times I found Daddy in the chair in the living room doing just that. And I would join him. And I believe in my heart that he joins me now when I do it.
Funny how the simplest things can make the best memories. No big planned, constructed memories. Just the everyday stuff that sticks. Think about it.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Picking Your Battles
WARNING I am probably going to tick some people off with this post. If you are one of them, I'm sorry, but I do hope you'll read to the end (with an open mind) and see if I'm not actually making a valid point.
I hear the term "pick your battles" a lot lately. Typically it means choosing a less distasteful option over another. Pursuing one path instead of another. Sometimes (and this is where I'm going to tick off some people) it means taking the easy way out. Pulling a Scarlett O'Hara. "I'll think about this tomorrow".
I'm not saying that living with the decision is easy. If a couple gets divorced it isn't easy - ask anyone who's lived through one. But sometimes it is the easy way out. Rather than deal with the problems in the relationship, one side, sometimes both, just gives up. I'm not saying that there aren't times when a divorce is a necessary answer. No one should remain in an abusive marriage. But even in that case some one is taking an easy way out. Why go to rehab for substance abuse or anger management counseling and face our own demons when we can just take out our problems on the person we're closest to? Using abortions for birth control is taking the easy way out. Again, the decision may be difficult to live with. And there are circumstances where it is a medically necessary procedure. But young women don't have to deal with the lack of self esteem or problems that drive them to look for comfort in sex if they have the option of not dealing with the consequences afterwards. Why stand up for social changes when the status quo is so much easier? Why get involve in our communities when sending a check will do? You could force your children to learn manners or you could just let them interrupt and then they'll leave the room so you can finish your visit. Its easier that way.
I guess my issue is that too often the ugly battle never gets picked. We don't deal with what is uncomfortable or unpleasant. We take the path of least resistance. We don't stand up to the bad guy or force someone to take a hard look at themselves. We just keep rolling along and always pick the other battle.
There is no tomorrow for Scarlett. It is always today.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Being a part of the pack
We're dog people. And I just uttered the biggest understatement of the year. With 7 in our current "herd" I'd say we qualify as dog people.
We just added one a couple of weeks ago and its always interesting to watch how the new one finds his or her way in the pack. They have their own pecking order that only they understand and we can't force the issue.
Up until 2004 we'd always had girls. I saw typical girl jealousy between the first and second ones. Our first had been an "only child" for a full year and was not pleased to be gaining a sister. Typical first child syndrome. She was known to ignore the new puppy completely and pushed her off my lap on more than one occasion.
The second was tickled to death when the third one came along. She had a friend! Our third dog was our first pound rescue so that was a challenge for the us. She was the sweetest thing. And the oldest was glad there was someone to play with the second one as she could not be bothered. She made it very clear from the outset that she was in charge, and was never questioned.
Eventually we picked up number 4 running the streets. We had no intention of keeping her but it was so cold that night that I wanted to take her the house to stay warm while we looked for her owners. That was in January 1997 or 1998. We quit looking. She loved to stay in the basement under the stairs. It took a long time before she'd join the rest of the group. And to be the largest of the four, she was the most timid. Afraid of her own shadow. She had no problem being on the bottom of the pile.
Time moved on. We lost numbers two and three. It was quiet. Two older dogs, one couldn't hear or walk or see very good, but still lots of love. The other continued to stay to herself. I started thinking about a puppy again. Someone who would know I was home and be excited. I'll never forget the day my husband called with the news. He'd been traveling and came across a puppy that had been hit by a car and was dragging herself out of the road with her front paws when he came driving up. He grabbed her up and brought her home. She had a broken pelvis and a horrible case of the mange. For anyone that doesn't know it, people can get the mange also. But we fixed her up and the first time that she came skidding down the hallway's hardwood floors to meet me at the door my heart just sang!
So, number five slowly started becoming the boss as number one grew older. Later that same year we did the unthinkable. Rescued a boy dog! His place in the pack was easy. He was special and he was going to protect all the womenfolk. And he still does. If he thinks there is anything outside to be concerned about he will literally sleep on top of me and face the door.
A couple of months later, number six moved in. For those keeping score, three dogs joined the family in one year's time. Number one was now too old to care. Number four just wanted to know what in the world had she done to deserve this! Three puppies. Twelve months. Not good.
Then number one passed away at the age of 16. Even the puppies knew something was wrong. The Queen Bee was gone. Number five stepped up to the plate. She was large and in charge.
So we rocked on for a year or so and then, the big plunge. Twins. Adopted two at a time. One boy and one girl. They only have eyes for each other. They wait for each other to go outside, they play, they slept next to each other for a long time. Only thing was, number six. He scared the bejeebers out of the new puppy. All he had to do was look at that little dog and he would go to the bathroom where he stood. Number six didn't bother the girl twin, only the boy.
So another year passes and, you guessed it, number 10 literally runs into our lives. He's a sweetheart. And he suffers from seizures. We're guessing that's the reason that we've had a hard time finding his owners. I guess they didn't want to deal with it. My husband looked at me after we got the news and just said "I guess there's a reason they all find their way to us". And he's right. We're kind of the Brangelina of the dog world (but we're up one so they'd better get on the stick!) and there must be some type of doggie communication that brings them here.
Number six is trying very hard to let number ten know that he's the boss. Number ten just stands there looking at him. Boy twin is tickled to death that the big dog has someone else to intimidate. He's slept better in the last two weeks than I think he has since he and his sister moved in. He's no longer the focus of the attention.
Its the same with people. We can be the top dog, or we can live alone in the basement. We can lead or follow. Be part of the problem or part of the solution. Think about the groups you're in. Are you always an officer, or always a worker bee, or do you just show up because your BlackBerry sent you a reminder? People watching can be fun. But how often do we step back and see ourselves as other see us. Do others call what we think of as leadership skills bullying? Are people disappointed because we don't step up the plate enough? Are we just so shy that we can't? Are we head-over-heels excited when someone new joins the group, or are we intent on proving our place in the group to the new kid?
I think its important to do a self-assessment from time to time. Am I doing all I can to be good productive citizen/member/participant in my world? Can I push myself beyond my perceived boundaries. Can I be a good follower when my skill set doesn't fit well with being the leader? Can I give my all to what I'm doing?
Think about. Just like within my Thundering Herd we all have our place in this world. And our "place" is not the same in all circumstances. Know how you fit best and make the most of it.
We just added one a couple of weeks ago and its always interesting to watch how the new one finds his or her way in the pack. They have their own pecking order that only they understand and we can't force the issue.
Up until 2004 we'd always had girls. I saw typical girl jealousy between the first and second ones. Our first had been an "only child" for a full year and was not pleased to be gaining a sister. Typical first child syndrome. She was known to ignore the new puppy completely and pushed her off my lap on more than one occasion.
The second was tickled to death when the third one came along. She had a friend! Our third dog was our first pound rescue so that was a challenge for the us. She was the sweetest thing. And the oldest was glad there was someone to play with the second one as she could not be bothered. She made it very clear from the outset that she was in charge, and was never questioned.
Eventually we picked up number 4 running the streets. We had no intention of keeping her but it was so cold that night that I wanted to take her the house to stay warm while we looked for her owners. That was in January 1997 or 1998. We quit looking. She loved to stay in the basement under the stairs. It took a long time before she'd join the rest of the group. And to be the largest of the four, she was the most timid. Afraid of her own shadow. She had no problem being on the bottom of the pile.
Time moved on. We lost numbers two and three. It was quiet. Two older dogs, one couldn't hear or walk or see very good, but still lots of love. The other continued to stay to herself. I started thinking about a puppy again. Someone who would know I was home and be excited. I'll never forget the day my husband called with the news. He'd been traveling and came across a puppy that had been hit by a car and was dragging herself out of the road with her front paws when he came driving up. He grabbed her up and brought her home. She had a broken pelvis and a horrible case of the mange. For anyone that doesn't know it, people can get the mange also. But we fixed her up and the first time that she came skidding down the hallway's hardwood floors to meet me at the door my heart just sang!
So, number five slowly started becoming the boss as number one grew older. Later that same year we did the unthinkable. Rescued a boy dog! His place in the pack was easy. He was special and he was going to protect all the womenfolk. And he still does. If he thinks there is anything outside to be concerned about he will literally sleep on top of me and face the door.
A couple of months later, number six moved in. For those keeping score, three dogs joined the family in one year's time. Number one was now too old to care. Number four just wanted to know what in the world had she done to deserve this! Three puppies. Twelve months. Not good.
Then number one passed away at the age of 16. Even the puppies knew something was wrong. The Queen Bee was gone. Number five stepped up to the plate. She was large and in charge.
So we rocked on for a year or so and then, the big plunge. Twins. Adopted two at a time. One boy and one girl. They only have eyes for each other. They wait for each other to go outside, they play, they slept next to each other for a long time. Only thing was, number six. He scared the bejeebers out of the new puppy. All he had to do was look at that little dog and he would go to the bathroom where he stood. Number six didn't bother the girl twin, only the boy.
So another year passes and, you guessed it, number 10 literally runs into our lives. He's a sweetheart. And he suffers from seizures. We're guessing that's the reason that we've had a hard time finding his owners. I guess they didn't want to deal with it. My husband looked at me after we got the news and just said "I guess there's a reason they all find their way to us". And he's right. We're kind of the Brangelina of the dog world (but we're up one so they'd better get on the stick!) and there must be some type of doggie communication that brings them here.
Number six is trying very hard to let number ten know that he's the boss. Number ten just stands there looking at him. Boy twin is tickled to death that the big dog has someone else to intimidate. He's slept better in the last two weeks than I think he has since he and his sister moved in. He's no longer the focus of the attention.
Its the same with people. We can be the top dog, or we can live alone in the basement. We can lead or follow. Be part of the problem or part of the solution. Think about the groups you're in. Are you always an officer, or always a worker bee, or do you just show up because your BlackBerry sent you a reminder? People watching can be fun. But how often do we step back and see ourselves as other see us. Do others call what we think of as leadership skills bullying? Are people disappointed because we don't step up the plate enough? Are we just so shy that we can't? Are we head-over-heels excited when someone new joins the group, or are we intent on proving our place in the group to the new kid?
I think its important to do a self-assessment from time to time. Am I doing all I can to be good productive citizen/member/participant in my world? Can I push myself beyond my perceived boundaries. Can I be a good follower when my skill set doesn't fit well with being the leader? Can I give my all to what I'm doing?
Think about. Just like within my Thundering Herd we all have our place in this world. And our "place" is not the same in all circumstances. Know how you fit best and make the most of it.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Numbers
$798. I believe that was the price of a human life on Friday. That was the price of a 50-inch plasma TV at a New York Wal-Mart that contributed to the stampede that resulted in the death of an employee.
195. The last count of the deaths in the terrorist attack at Mumbai. It could be higher now but I haven't checked the news.
60. The number of hours the siege lasted at Mumbai.
I probably shouldn't mix the two. One was an act of terrorism, the other an act of ordinary citizens. Although a mob of citizens pushing on glass doors so hard that they were cracking and then shattered could probably be classified as terrorists. I feel certain the employees on the other side trying to delay the inevitable probably were terrified.
But the common thread is that innocent lives were taken. People minding their own business. Doing their jobs. And lost for what? Greed. Cowardice. I don't believe that the terrorists had just lofty ideals that we could say it was for a greater good. And saving a few bucks on a Christmas gift? Please! If your economic conditions are good enough that you can pay $800 for a gigantic television that you probably don't need anyway then you could spring for a few extra bucks.
Is this what society has been reduced to? I heard one witness refer to the shoppers as "savages". Pretty apropos. And to add insult to the whole matter, some were heard to complain when asked to evacuate the store so the incident could be investigated. They couldn't believe they had to leave after all the hours they waited on line. Sad, really.
As to the Wal-Mart incident, one family's Christmas, and all future holidays, has been ruined by the thoughtless, inconsiderate actions of a few. I know they didn't mean to cause a death or any injuries to anyone. But it doesn't really change the end result, does it? They let greed be their guide.
As for the terrorists acts, what can I say? So many lives shattered by the acts of a radical few.
I guess this is what can happen when we start to let things - like thoughts, greed, radical ideals - take over our lives and quit thinking with our hearts and good reason.
1. The number of people it takes to start making a difference. Let that one be you.
195. The last count of the deaths in the terrorist attack at Mumbai. It could be higher now but I haven't checked the news.
60. The number of hours the siege lasted at Mumbai.
I probably shouldn't mix the two. One was an act of terrorism, the other an act of ordinary citizens. Although a mob of citizens pushing on glass doors so hard that they were cracking and then shattered could probably be classified as terrorists. I feel certain the employees on the other side trying to delay the inevitable probably were terrified.
But the common thread is that innocent lives were taken. People minding their own business. Doing their jobs. And lost for what? Greed. Cowardice. I don't believe that the terrorists had just lofty ideals that we could say it was for a greater good. And saving a few bucks on a Christmas gift? Please! If your economic conditions are good enough that you can pay $800 for a gigantic television that you probably don't need anyway then you could spring for a few extra bucks.
Is this what society has been reduced to? I heard one witness refer to the shoppers as "savages". Pretty apropos. And to add insult to the whole matter, some were heard to complain when asked to evacuate the store so the incident could be investigated. They couldn't believe they had to leave after all the hours they waited on line. Sad, really.
As to the Wal-Mart incident, one family's Christmas, and all future holidays, has been ruined by the thoughtless, inconsiderate actions of a few. I know they didn't mean to cause a death or any injuries to anyone. But it doesn't really change the end result, does it? They let greed be their guide.
As for the terrorists acts, what can I say? So many lives shattered by the acts of a radical few.
I guess this is what can happen when we start to let things - like thoughts, greed, radical ideals - take over our lives and quit thinking with our hearts and good reason.
1. The number of people it takes to start making a difference. Let that one be you.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Being Thankful
I'm not sure we always know how to be thankful. Sure, we say "Thank God" about a hundred times a day, but do we mean it. And mean it like we're supposed to be meaning it?
I see a generation growing up with the feeling of entitlement. And they are getting that from their parents. Generations before us truly were thankful for what they had. Food, shelter, employment. And when they said "Thank God" it was with a truly grateful heart. No one had ever just handed them anything, therefore there was no expectation of it. Not so today.
Maybe the current economic situation will serve as a reminder to folks. Be thankful you have a roof over your head, many are losing their homes. Be thankful even if that roof is at a shelter. Be glad you have food to eat, whether it comes from your kitchen or a soup kitchen. Many will go to bed hungry tonight. Be glad when you roll over in the morning and don't have to work that Monday morning there will be a job to go to.
I could probably launch into some of the reasons that some people have found themselves in the economic situation they are in - wanting bigger houses, nicer cars, unwilling to work at jobs they deem beneath them. Maybe a reminder of what to be really thankful for is in order. I know it doesn't apply to everyone. Sometimes people are victims of circumstances beyond their control. But that is a thought for another day. Today is a day to be uplifted.
So, hug your family tonight and say a prayer for all those families who have a gap. Maybe a loved one has died, can't travel, or maybe is one of our brave men and women fighting somewhere in the world for our freedom. Freedom we should be thankful for. It is what this country was founded on. But we forget. How quickly we forget.
I see a generation growing up with the feeling of entitlement. And they are getting that from their parents. Generations before us truly were thankful for what they had. Food, shelter, employment. And when they said "Thank God" it was with a truly grateful heart. No one had ever just handed them anything, therefore there was no expectation of it. Not so today.
Maybe the current economic situation will serve as a reminder to folks. Be thankful you have a roof over your head, many are losing their homes. Be thankful even if that roof is at a shelter. Be glad you have food to eat, whether it comes from your kitchen or a soup kitchen. Many will go to bed hungry tonight. Be glad when you roll over in the morning and don't have to work that Monday morning there will be a job to go to.
I could probably launch into some of the reasons that some people have found themselves in the economic situation they are in - wanting bigger houses, nicer cars, unwilling to work at jobs they deem beneath them. Maybe a reminder of what to be really thankful for is in order. I know it doesn't apply to everyone. Sometimes people are victims of circumstances beyond their control. But that is a thought for another day. Today is a day to be uplifted.
So, hug your family tonight and say a prayer for all those families who have a gap. Maybe a loved one has died, can't travel, or maybe is one of our brave men and women fighting somewhere in the world for our freedom. Freedom we should be thankful for. It is what this country was founded on. But we forget. How quickly we forget.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Letting the Bully Win
Into all lives there enters a bully. Some sneak in, some come crashing through the door. But everyone faces one at some point. The question is, how do you handle it?
We've all watched the news in horror as stories unfold about young adults shooting up schools or taking their own lives as a result of being bullied. That seems to be the answer that keeps popping to the unanswerable question of Why? Seemingly normal, ordinary kids (my dad hated to have young people called kids - said that term was reserved for baby goats) go off the deep end and do the unthinkable. Makes you wonder about a lot of things. First and foremost, where are the coping skills and who was supposed to be teaching and reinforcing them?
An unfortunate event has arisen in a group I'm associated with. Tempers have flaired, bad behavior has been exhibited. Several people have expressed a desire, (or need, complusion) to just leave the group. The tension has become so intolerable and the atmosphere so uncomfortable that they just want out. I've been one of them. But then I thought about it. If one person is causing the issue that makes everyone else uncomfortable, what message are we sending? That its okay to bully the group to get what you want and if you do it long enough you'll wear everyone else down and your opposition will just go away?
I don't think that's the right message. The bully can't win. When young people ruin or end their lives because they couldn't stand up to bully, the bully has won. And unless he (or she) was taken out as well, they will most likely continue to do it. When adults turn their backs on good organizations rather than try to force the necessary changes on it, the bully has won.
The bully can't win.
We've all watched the news in horror as stories unfold about young adults shooting up schools or taking their own lives as a result of being bullied. That seems to be the answer that keeps popping to the unanswerable question of Why? Seemingly normal, ordinary kids (my dad hated to have young people called kids - said that term was reserved for baby goats) go off the deep end and do the unthinkable. Makes you wonder about a lot of things. First and foremost, where are the coping skills and who was supposed to be teaching and reinforcing them?
An unfortunate event has arisen in a group I'm associated with. Tempers have flaired, bad behavior has been exhibited. Several people have expressed a desire, (or need, complusion) to just leave the group. The tension has become so intolerable and the atmosphere so uncomfortable that they just want out. I've been one of them. But then I thought about it. If one person is causing the issue that makes everyone else uncomfortable, what message are we sending? That its okay to bully the group to get what you want and if you do it long enough you'll wear everyone else down and your opposition will just go away?
I don't think that's the right message. The bully can't win. When young people ruin or end their lives because they couldn't stand up to bully, the bully has won. And unless he (or she) was taken out as well, they will most likely continue to do it. When adults turn their backs on good organizations rather than try to force the necessary changes on it, the bully has won.
The bully can't win.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Attire
A bit more on the decline of social mores. Clothing. I remember seeing a long-ago picture of my grandmother, with her mother and sister, and they were dressed to the nines! Including a hat to top it all off. I love hats! I wore them to church on Easter up into high school and college. I just think they really finish an outfit. I can remember my grandfather wearing his "Bear Bryant" hat when I was a child. So dapper.
Men still wear hats - ball caps, trucker hats, do rags. Difference is, my grandfather always took his off inside a building. Never would he have dreamed of eating a meal wearing one! You can't get kids to take them off now. Instead of finishing an outfit, a hat is a means to cover up the bed head they have since they didn't get up in time to get ready. Even though it doesn't take too long since they only have to pull their pants up to about mid-thigh. There is never any need to wonder if a young man is a "boxer or brief" guy. The answer is hanging out over the waistband of his pants.
Females are no better. So many of them don't wear enough clothes to even qualify as an outfit. You see more of them than you ever wanted to.
Sad really. And while I would NEVER advocate that a woman was "asking for it" when something terrible happens to her, women do send mixed messages. Look, and look a lot, but don't touch. My husband is flabbergasted on the rare occassions that we go out in a crowd about how young women dress.
And I wonder again, as I have before, when did we (the collective "WE" that is society) say that this behavior is acceptable? What causes us to continue to turn our heads or just ignore it? And how do we turn the bus around? So many of these young people have no idea of the ramifications in the real world. Its harder to get a good job when you aren't dressed appropriately, or don't even know what appropriately is. And the casualness of our appearance can often single casualness (or downright laziness) in other aspects of our world. Is it too late to stop this downhill roll? Or do we have to wait until we hit rock bottom before someone steps up and makes a change.
Men still wear hats - ball caps, trucker hats, do rags. Difference is, my grandfather always took his off inside a building. Never would he have dreamed of eating a meal wearing one! You can't get kids to take them off now. Instead of finishing an outfit, a hat is a means to cover up the bed head they have since they didn't get up in time to get ready. Even though it doesn't take too long since they only have to pull their pants up to about mid-thigh. There is never any need to wonder if a young man is a "boxer or brief" guy. The answer is hanging out over the waistband of his pants.
Females are no better. So many of them don't wear enough clothes to even qualify as an outfit. You see more of them than you ever wanted to.
Sad really. And while I would NEVER advocate that a woman was "asking for it" when something terrible happens to her, women do send mixed messages. Look, and look a lot, but don't touch. My husband is flabbergasted on the rare occassions that we go out in a crowd about how young women dress.
And I wonder again, as I have before, when did we (the collective "WE" that is society) say that this behavior is acceptable? What causes us to continue to turn our heads or just ignore it? And how do we turn the bus around? So many of these young people have no idea of the ramifications in the real world. Its harder to get a good job when you aren't dressed appropriately, or don't even know what appropriately is. And the casualness of our appearance can often single casualness (or downright laziness) in other aspects of our world. Is it too late to stop this downhill roll? Or do we have to wait until we hit rock bottom before someone steps up and makes a change.
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