He Ain't Heavy....

"He's My Brother. And on we go."

Growing up, I had a crush on the Osmond Brothers. OK, mostly Donny but I loved them all. Their voices were so smooth and wonderful. And the harmonies! I remember playing the albums (you know, the big vinyl kind) over and over.

I always loved to hear them sing "He ain't heavy, he's my brother". Unless I'm mistaken (and I could be. Rumor is that it has happened before. But I'd never admit it.) the album was just called "The Osmonds" (blueish purple letters) and it had the five brothers walking toward the camera, in step, along rows of something on a farm on a clear blue-sky day.

I can still hear them singing in my head. And I haven't heard that song in, literally, decades.

It came to mind the other day. I have a friend who is really really dealing with a lot right now. More than I can even imagine. And we were talking the other day about how she was doing and some events of that day. She told me that she was considering taking some anti-depressants (fully encouraged by her doctors) to try and help her get through some of this but she really hated to. Didn't want to seem like a cry-baby.

I asked her - when did we, as a society, decide that we had to shoulder our own burdens alone? Everybody needs somebody sometimes. We are social creatures. We really aren't meant to "go it alone".

I realize that I didn't live in the idyllic 40s and 50s that are portrayed on television, but I believe there are some elements of truth to those shows. Without computers and video games and limited television programming, people actually spent more time together. They looked out for each other. Helped one another. Cared about their fellow man. Sure, we're all "connected" but we really aren't. I can email or video chat or Facebook or Twitter and all the rest. I can see what my family is up to, but I don't really hear their voices.

I'm ashamed to admit I don't really know some of my neighbors. I discovered that a man with whome I've served on a board actually lives across the street and two doors down. I can see his house from where I'm sitting right now but I had no idea he lived there. I only found out because his daughter was in a car accident and they published his address in the newspaper. But he parks his car in the back of his house and doesn't use the front door much. And that's the side of the house I see. I did go down there once but no one opened the door. Twenty years ago I'd have been down there on moving day with a plate of brownies.

And our neighbors welcomed us with a party. A "Sorry to See you Go and Welcome to the Neighborhood Party" for us and the lady from whom we bought the house. But I didn't see anyone much after that. Folks came from a three block radius to meet us, but that night they all went back home and I don't see them anymore. I talked to one neighbor about doing a similar party when three families moved in across the street into some new houses. Talked about it. Didn't do it. That was about 4 years ago.

We've all insulated ourselves. Both physically and figuratively. I'll text or email sometimes before I'll pick up the phone and make a call. Don't want to bother anyone. With an email they can read it when they have time. I've had family members miss events because they had no one to go with but didn't want to ask anyone either.

I know, deep down, that I have a ton of friends that I could call on in a time of need. And that is of great comfort to me. But at the same time I can see where my friend was coming from.

"I can handle this. Don't want anyone to think less of me. I don't want to bother anyone. Others have it so much worse, I shouldn't complain." And so on and so on.

Bull puckey I say.

Reach out. It doesn't matter if someone's problems are "worse" than yours. If you need a friend or help or anything you have to be willing to ask for it, or accept it when offered. Because insulation works both ways. I've missed acknowledging birthdays this year that I haven't missed in years because I got caught up in work and deadlines and other stuff and I didn't take the time to reach out either. Now, I think they'll still take my calls, no irreparable damage has been done.

At least not yet. I don't think.

But I see how easy it could be. You practically don't have to leave your house anymore if you don't want to. Groceries can get delivered. Movies download onto your computer. Remote access to your office over the Internet. Why get dressed!?!

Because we were never intended to be alone. It goes all the way back to the Bible. God made Adam, found that he couldn't talk to the animals, and made him a mate.

We are supposed to lift each other up when one is down. Pick them up and carry them if need be. And if you are the one who is being carried don't fuss. It'll be your turn to share the load soon enough.

That's how it works.

"And the load, doesn't weigh me down, at all....."