We Are What We Live

Sometimes people think I share too much on this blog. Too much personal stuff. Well, let me tell you THIS story.

I am involved in a program this year through our Chamber of Commerce - Leadership Natchez. It's a 9 month program where we get in depth learning of our city and take on projects to make it even better. The first session was a two day retreat led by a nationally known speaker specializing in personal relationships. She led us through several personality tests and team building exercises to help a very diverse group of 17 act as one unit.

Her life factored heavily into her teaching. By the end of the FIRST day we knew that she had had an abortion growing up, her two oldest children had been sexually abused by a foster child their home, their youngest child drowned at the age of 3 in the family swimming pool, she had almost died of alcohol poisoning twice and tried to commit suicide on more than one occasion, and her husband went from being a prominent successful attorney in their area to being disbarred from embezzling from his clients' trust funds. The clients didn't press charges so he avoided prison. They had nothing now. She even had to borrow a car to drive to teach us.

Compared to that, my life is a vault! There's tons of stuff I've never shared! She, like me sometimes, felt like the only way to get someone to understand your position, or your dreams, is to share the events that shaped them. She was currently fulfilling a lifelong dream of owning and operating a home for teenage mothers. Someone had gifted her the land and building. The dream arose from wanting to provide an alternative that she never felt she had when facing the same situation. She's also published articles based on a phrase her 3 year old uttered not long before she died. The little girl had asked for something and the mother snapped back a response. On her way out the door the little girl looked back and informed her mother that she had hurt her heart.

The speaker felt like we needed the background to see why she felt her methods were working and important. That leading from the heart was a critical piece of the overall puzzle.

While my life has not been, blessedly so, quite as dramatic as all of this, I have seen my share of problems. And some of them do very much shape my responses to things. And I have shared with some people things that others in my life might wish I hadn't, but I needed the other person to understand that I wasn't just SAYING "I know how you feel", I DID know how they felt. I'd experienced it as well.

And I had come out on the other side.

Hopefully a better person. At least a more empathetic one.

We aren't meant to travel this world alone. We are "pack animals", meaning we need the others in our daily lives to help and support. Sometimes others need to know that they aren't the first ones to face a crisis, nor will they be the last. If sharing some deep dark secret from my personal life helps someone, then so be it. Our experiences aren't ours alone. What is the point of learning something if we keep it to ourselves?

We're all teachers. We're all examples. As with any area of life, some are better than others. Some people are examples of what not to do. Some teach how to do things differently.

I don't think I've ever shared anything here that I didn't think others could relate to. My life isn't perfect. I get angry at my boss, frustrated with my family, lonely and tired and scared. All human emotions. But life isn't about WHAT we're handed. It's about how we DEAL with what we're handed.

You can suck on the lemons you're handed and end up with a sour face. Or you juice them and make one heck of a lemon pie.

A pie that you would gladly share with others.