Character Counts

I think I've touched on this before, but I'm really bothered by this.

Webster's Dictionary defines character as the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing; moral or ethical quality.

I saw it defined on a poster once as "what you do when no one is watching".

What I seem to be seeing more and more is a lack of character.

Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. Married 25 years to a lovely lady only to finally confess to not only an affair but to fathering a child in that affair.  Confessed when confronted.

Take Bobby Petrino, former head coach of the Arkansas Razorback football team.  Caught out with a young lady after a motorcycle accident, lied about it, and then lied about compensation and other issues related to her when that story started to unravel.

Politicians are "tweeting" nude photos of themselves to women.

I was raised with one Golden Rule - always be on your best behavior because you never know who is watching.

And Mom and Dad meant it.

And since my sister is my mother's mini-me, it was serious.

I never wanted to do anything to disappoint either of them.  Still don't.  And I know my dad is watching from up above so nothing is going unnoticed.

What I guess people don't always think through are the unintended consequences of their actions.  In the case of Bobby Petrino, his actions forced the Arkansas Athletic Director to make an extremely difficult decision.  When AD Jeff Long held his press conference to announce Petrino's dismissal, he had tears in his eyes and was very emotional.  And I supported his decision wholeheartedly. At that point, the Razorback team themselves were ranked preseason number 8, but fell quickly after the first few games - the Shock in Little Rock when UL-Monroe beat them in overtime and the the 52-0 shellacking by Alabama - when they didn't have their regular coach and the replacement coach had only had a few months.

I was floored, and saddened, by the number of my friends that started calling for Bobby's reinstatement at that point.

First of all, irrespective of the money it generates for the school, it is a game.  Him being the head coach was not a life and death position.  But it was more important to a lot of people to have a liar as the head coach if it meant winning a football game.

Winning was more prized than character.

Now I know Coach Petrino didn't intend for that downward spiral to happen, but often our actions have far reaching and unexpected results.  He let down those young men that had looked up to and mentored under him.  They were broken.  They weren't a team at that moment, they were a group of individuals on the field looking for guidance.

I can't imagine the humiliation that public figures, like Maria Shriver, have to endure when someone in their family publicly allows their character to take a vacation.  We see it everyday on the news.  And sometimes they just continue to do things in out in the open - like writing books about their exploits.

Lack of character just morphs into bad behavior.

I think, for me at least, part of the problem is that these lapses in judgement get inappropriately glorified.  We hear the stories on 67 of the 121 channels on television and see it splashed across the covers of tabloid magazines.  Persons of true character, after such lapses, should quietly and privately work to repair the damage they caused.  Not pile on with more and more bad decisions.

Everything we do is noticed by someone, somewhere.  No matter how hard to we may try to keep something quiet or behind the scenes. Why don't we see the "good stuff" on the cover of People Magazine? They have sections on the inside of Heroes Among US and stories about real people doing good things in their communities. Instead, we get the latest celebrity unwed mother, or divorce, or cheating scandal.

We place too much attention on the wrong stuff.

How to change it?  I have no idea.  We can't, realistically, turn off the television.  We don't have to buy magazines, I suppose, but if we don't we will miss the positive stories hidden inside the covers.

All we can do is live by example, and hope someone is watching.