Go For the Gold!

I said in my last post that I love the Olympics.

And I do.

Totally.

Winter or summer, doesn't matter to me.

I get such a rush out of watching these kids (and at 43 I'm including anyone under the age of 30 as a "kid") doing something they are so passionate about!

I always prefer amateur sports to professional sports. I love watching people compete that are still enthralled with their sport. Money means nothing. Of course some of them play and train with the hopes that they may some day make money with their ability, but for right now they play for pride.

Pride in their school, representing their families, love of their country.

For some of these young men and women, the Olympic dream culminated with the opening ceremony. They knew from all their other competitions that they probably didn't have a snowballs chance at a medal.

But they made it. Made it to the Olympic Games and they would do their best no matter what.

Because all eyes were on them.

The eyes of the world.

We watched skiers and skaters fall. We saw the best efforts fall short.

But we also saw the best and brightest and no matter how they did we were watching dreams come true.

The dream of just competing.

For so many of these athletes this is it. This IS the lifelong dream. Slumber parties and camping trips were replaced when they were growing up by hours and hours of practice. Before school. After school. Training in facilities away from their families. Year after year, competition after competition.

All for just a couple of minutes.

For some, that is all there was.

One race. One jump.

One and done.

And for that poor young man from Georgia, not even that. Killed doing what he loved to do at a place he had dreamed of being. But he had not actually gotten to compete yet.

So, as I sit here waiting on the Gold Medal hockey game to start and will watch the closing ceremonies tonight, I will also wonder about tomorrow.

For those that will not compete again. How will they transition into a "normal" life? A regular job or a standard school schedule.

How will they become like us?

Spectators. Watching another generation of Wheaties boxes.

Waving our flags, hands over our hearts, holding our breaths, willing the young men and women to go faster and higher.

How indeed.

You Just Have to Want It!

Name one of the two longest rivers in the United States.

Who was President during World War I?

Name one of the writers of the Federalist Papers.

What is one promise you make when you become a United States citizen?


Recently one of my friends posted on Facebook that she and her son had been invited to, and attended, a naturalization ceremony for new US citizens.

How cool is that!?!

Another friend of mine has a sister-in-law that was also made a citizen last spring.

I decided to look up some of the test questions to see how I would do. I am pleased to say that I would have done OK. But the questions above did give me pause.

I've been thinking a lot lately about "being" an American. What it means. Why it is sought.

It is an honor and a privilege.

I totally "get" wanting to be an American. Until recently, whenever I would answer polls about issues facing America I would typically respond that illegal immigration is one of our biggest problems.

I understand why people would want to come and live in America. BE an American.

I just wish they would do it according to the rules.

So I really think it would be cool to see the ceremony of those that do earn their citizenship. Those that work for it.

Because really, aren't those the people that we want to be citizens? Those that want it bad enough to wait and work for it. Citizenship should be earned, not just handed out.

I saw the other night that one of our Olympic athletes is a naturalized citizen.

And here is my thing on the Olympics. I love them! I love the sports but I love the national pride even more.

Team USA.

Imagine, loving a country so much that you not only give up you own home country - leaving behind family, friends and a language you understand, you study and pass the exam and take the oath, and then you represent your new home in the biggest sporting event in the world.

Very cool.

I will admit that one of the items on my Bucket List is to live in foreign country for a while. 6 months. Maybe a year.

Italy springs to mind.

But I don't want to give up my citizenship to do so. Just a nice long visit.

Because I know what it means to an American.

Freedom.

Freedom to speak my mind. Freedom to have a say in my government. Freedom to worship as I chose, where I chose. Freedom to be anything I want to be, wear what I want to wear, go where I want to go.

I am proud to be an American. I am proud of our country and what we represent. I am not always proud of our representatives, but I am proud of what we are.

I still, every single time, get tears in my eyes when I hear the "Star Spangled Banner".

Because we are the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

So, I say Welcome! to all the people who have consciously decided to join our great nation they way they are supposed to. To those that have just chosen to come to America by other methods, I say Adios!

I Love You

I have, like most people, a morning ritual. Mine includes drinking my coffee while checking my email and reading my morning devotional.

I sat down this morning to see in my list of unopened emails "Hayden McConnell has sent you a message on Facebook."

Intrigued, I opened that email first.

"I can't write on your wall for some reason but I was going to say I love you, so.... I love you."

This young man will be 17 in a few months.

I can't tell you how it made my heart absolutely SOAR this morning to read those words!

8 letters. 3 small words. One huge reaction.

I'm good for the day now.

Puppies can't get on my nerves - and on Day 11 of being a single mom they have managed to get on my nerves a lot lately - work is not going to stress me out; nothing.

I am loved.

Those words are always important to say. No matter what. But it seems like they get a little extra kick when they aren't expected.

I mean, Billy and I tell each other we love each other many times a day. I tell my mom and my sister most of the time when we hang up the phone. But to get it out of the blue from an unexpected source, well, that is just the topper.

Hopefully he'll never read this and know that I told the whole world but I just couldn't help it.

Furthermore, I think I'll spread the joy by telling each every one of you

I Love You.

I mean that. I really do.

Too Good to Be Real

This is kind of a crazy society we're living in. I've been thinking about how to best approach this subject.

You see, I'm a little mixed on some of it.

A recent cover of People Magazine showed a young (23) television personality who underwent 10, yes 10, plastic surgeries at one time.

And this was not her first time under the knife.

Nor will it be her last. She still wants bigger breasts.

Ten surgeries.

This, to me, is 1) having more money than sense, and 2) such a sad commentary on how people (male and female) can view themselves.

Who, at 23, truly and honestly needs 10 plastic surgeries? She had her ears pinned back, chin reduction, liposuction, nose job, breast enhancement, you name it. And y'all, she looked wonderful to start with.

She was already a television celebrity.

I don't get it. But she said she wanted to feel "perfect".

I say perfection starts on the inside.

And there are no surgeries for that.

But it shows you some of the issues that we all face. She has a career that many people dream of, she is newly married (for the record, her husband was very much against the surgeries but supported her right to do it), and is living a life that many would envy.

Yet she wasn't happy.

Now, what part of this am I mixed about?

I don't agree with what she did, but I respect her right to do it.

I understand what it's like to want to look different. I wish I were taller, but there is no surgery for that. High heels are the best I can do on that front.

I do color my hair when I get dissatisfied with it.

I'll try every product that Oil of Olay can make to try and get rid of bags under my eyes or wrinkles.

And while the impetus for me to work on losing the 50 pounds I've dropped (so far anyway) was for health reasons I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the way I looked.

But I have never suffered from the confidence problems that this young woman obviously does. I never really associate what I look like with who I am.

I am me. Wife, daughter, sister, friend, "mother" to the puppies, CPA, partner. Doesn't matter if I'm blond, brunette, short, tall, whatever. All of these I accomplished because of who I am on the inside, who and what I was raised to be (thanks Mom and Dad!), how I view myself.

Unfortunately, though, that kind of self-awareness doesn't always translate. So, I actually feel sorry for this young lady.

Sorry that she can't see how beautiful she was before. Not that she isn't beautiful now, but it just isn't the same.

Sorry that she didn't opt to work on the inside first, before spending all that time on the shell.

Because, in reality, our bodies are simply that - shells. Delicate, fragile shells that hold an even more fragile and delicate soul on the inside.

And, like so many other things in this world, it is only the inside that counts.

A Deficit of Trust

This phrase was one of the few I picked up the other night in the President's State of the Union address.

It also one of the few things I actually agreed with.

I have to admit that I didn't listen very closely, though. (Every time he has opened his mouth lately the stock market has dropped and we lose money. I'm not sure who he thinks owns all these Big Banks he keeps blasting but I am one. Middle class. Me.)

I trust nothing and no one associated with Washington DC. Either side of the aisle. Makes no difference to me.

Deficit of trust also very aptly describes what I think a lot of people in this country feel. I never thought I'd actually agree with Geraldo Rivera on much but he said something on Fox News the other day that is exactly what I've been saying. The bipartisanship in this country right now is downright depressing. It's as if no one in Washington DC has an original or independent thought.

I suggest this experiment. Have all members of both Houses go to their offices and close the doors. Slide a bill (obviously a thin one, not the thousand page tomes they are accustomed to) under the door for their consideration. They have to read it and vote in a given time period. During that time they are not permitted to see or talk to anyone.

No phone calls. No committee meetings. No memos from the party leaders.

Just them and their own thoughts.

At the end of the time limit they pass the bill back under the door with a yes or no vote.

Wonder what would happen.

Would some of them even vote? Or would they just try to defer? Say they need more time? I'm certainly curious.

I realize that I've said all this before but I can't help it. I am so incredibly disappointed in all the current leadership that I literally want to send everyone home and just start over.

No old boys club that way. No "that's the way we do things around here".

Nothing but fresh faces, not yet jaded by the process, and some fresh ideas.

I'm sure that in that whole bunch there are some good people. The law of averages demands it. But they don't get the attention.

Obviously they are not making enough noise. All we ever hear about are the ones leading the charges and making the deals.

Which is why I don't trust them. If they were truly doing the job they were "hired" to do we would see the results, not have to be told. But we are told, every single day, about all the garbage going on along the Beltway.

I wish I felt differently. I really do.

This is such an incredible country. All the freedoms and privileges. All the opportunities we have. I really want to love the leaders and the work they do. I want to believe they are working for the American people.

But I don't.

I can't.

I have a deficit of trust.

But He Didn't Ask!

Here is my story. (Sorry Mom. I didn't tell you directly since I didn't want you to worry. That is also how I figured out you really didn't understand Facebook. This was quite the story for a couple of days.)

Billy works in Arkansas the first week of every month. If you spend any time at all watching our house our schedules are very evident. We have to park on the street so it doesn't take an Einstein to know when I'm home alone. My next door neighbor also works in Jackson Monday through Thursday every week so I'm pretty isolated for a few days each month.

But I have a whole pack of dogs in the house so I'm never really worried.

Until this month.

I had dozed off watching the college football BCS championship game (8:15 at night, sad really that I can't stay awake past 8!) and was awakened by the phone ringing. It was my neighbor. He was calling to say that he had seen a flashlight in our backyard. He didn't really think about it at first (told me later that he didn't give it a second thought until it snapped off quickly when he closed his car door) and then decided that I might want to know about it. A polite way of saying he got to the end of his driveway and saw that I was home alone.

I looked outside and didn't see anything, but I kept all the outside lights on all night. Didn't sleep too well either. But I had called the police for some extra patrols and did see them drive by a few times.

It was cold that week. So cold that our downstairs pipes froze the next night. Also so cold that our downstairs stayed in the 40s so me and the puppy dogs all stayed upstairs where it was a toasty 68. So I'm up early on Saturday morning, no longer worried about getting to work, and went outside to see if anything had burst under the house. Nothing had so I'm headed back in the house. Happy, if only for a moment.

And there it was. A bright orange metal coffee cup in the bushes up by the front porch.

And it wasn't ours.

I knew it wasn't ours but I called Billy just to make sure. We'd had no one working on the house and we're up on a hill so no one could have thrown it out the car window and had it land there and it was way to heavy to have blown up there.

So now, I'm a little freaked out.

Mostly because our house is up off the ground and you can easily sit up under there. I can almost stand straight up under there, but I'm short. (Vertically challenged I think they call it). But it looked to me like someone had been up under there.

Not that I don't understand. Thursday night was raining, Friday was cold. It would have offered a port in the storm, so to speak.

Another visit to the police station. A very nice female officer follows me home to check things out and starts asking me if there is a weapon in the house. The look on my face prompted the follow-up question of whether or not there was a weapon that I was comfortable using.

No would be the answer to that question.

Monday morning staff meeting (notice how I've almost forgotten about the frozen pipes and Billy did come home on Sunday morning - early) and the talk all around the table is the newspaper headlines that a man was arrested Sunday morning inside the house catty-corner from ours.

Way way too darn close if you ask me!

Anyway, we concluded, rightly or wrongly, that the guy they picked up had to be the same one that had been in my yard and I was glad I didn't have to worry anymore.

On of my coworkers made the comment that any stray dog we see gets picked up and brought inside but the man under the house wasn't welcome.

I know he was only partially kidding, but the man didn't ask. We don't chase after strays to bring them home, they come to us. Usually walk right up to us with eyes that are asking for help. So we accommodate them.

We give them shelter and food and keep them safe while they are in our care. We try very hard to find their families or, if not, a good home - that isn't ours. Yes, a good many have ended up staying but we bring in dogs, and the occasional cat, all the time that end up going home a few hours later. They just slipped away from their owners temporarily and we help them find their way back.

I hadn't thought about it much since then but my coworker made another comment this past Monday. Billy and I scooped up a puppy Saturday afternoon that was running up a very busy street. He isn't but about 3 or 4 months old and has two collars on so I know he belongs to someone. We spent a couple of hours on Saturday knocking on doors to find his family. We were back out on Sunday morning posting Found! signs. Billy took more out yesterday and I placed an ad in the paper today.

Someone is missing this little guy. We don't intend to keep him. I already have a lead on another family if they can't find the puppy they lost over the weekend (not the same one, we've checked) and our little guy's family doesn't claim him. But the comment was made in passing "but the guy under the house wasn't welcome."

He didn't ask!

I certainly tried not to take it personally, I'm always a little sensitive, but that little dig has hit a nerve with me. I've helped a lot people. Most of which I never told to anyone. I believe that you do things to help others because it is the right thing to do, not so that someone can acknowledge how "good" you are. BUT I do tend to draw the line on people just assuming that I'm good natured and prowling around my house. Even if all they are looking for is shelter.

I'm not foolish. I don't open the doors to strangers and so forth. And no, I probably wouldn't have let a perfect stranger hang out under my house to get out of the rain - even if he had asked. The world is not a safe place.

Sad, but true.

But I do, sometimes, wish people would be careful with their comments. That goes for me as well. There is no telling how many times I've made some off-hand remark, probably attempting to be funny, that was taken the wrong way. We don't always know what is lying beneath someone's surface and the most innocent of words can wound deeply.

Now, as I said, I've let it go. I know, at least I think I know, he didn't honestly mean anything and I think, at least I hope, he knows that I'd help any human in need that I can possibly help.

All they have to do is ask.

The Road Not Taken

My Facebook status the other day said Deanne Rodgers Tanksley "is just wondering......"

I do that a lot. Just sit and wonder. Wonder about what is going on at home while I'm working. Wondering about my one of my nephews and where he is headed. Wondering if I'll survive another busy season - especially as I'm sitting there staring at piles and piles of work.

This particular day the wondering was prompted by some wandering. I needed to take some information to a client and as it was a glorious 70+ degrees outside in January, I walked. I passed a bakery that recently closed up. I could see another around the corner that has been closed for a while. Several other businesses downtown are boarded up as well.

Several years ago I was looking at opening a bakery in downtown Natchez. For those that don't know it - I was enrolled in a culinary arts program before we moved. I was thinking about catering or something. Anyway, at the time I wasn't really pleased with where I was in the accounting industry and I was itching to try something new. I looked at a few options. Talked to some people about buying an existing location. Made a couple of other inquiries.

But I didn't do it. My circumstances at work changed, as did a few other things, so I stayed put.

But I do occasionally think about the "what ifs". If I had opened a bakery would I be closing the doors right now? Or would I be up to my elbows in King Cake orders this Mardi Gras season?

My eighth grade English teacher, Mrs. Charlene Barker, told me I should consider being a writer. What if I had listened and pursued that? Would I be on the New York Times bestseller list? Or would I have one lonely volume on a small town library shelf? As it is now I'm more of a book collector and reader. But I love to write and have a couple of books started and several short stories.

I pretty much stumbled into accounting. If fact, I guess I took a lazy way out. Accounting was actually very easy for me so I just stayed with it. I got swept away with the Big 8 firms interviewing on campus my senior year of college and just never looked back. This is my 22nd busy season.

But I still wonder about those other paths. I'm a very big believer that paths sometimes dead end, or come to a T and you have to chose one direction or the other. I also think you can sometime change paths just because you want to. Might not have to, just want to.

In some ways, I guess I dance over to and along those other roads. I've started this blog and I've had a few things published in e-magazines. I am trying to get some of my other "works" published and things are moving along on that front. I also cook on the side for some people here in town. I basically get the cost of the ingredients reimbursed, but I love to do it and you just never know where these things might lead. I might fix something for someone that ends up sparking a new venture.

I try to always be prepared for anything. For me, that is what makes life fun. Doing all these things on the side, ready should they ever take the spot front and center. Trying to do whatever is necessary to be in position and ready to jump on any opportunities that arise.

Because you never know. The road not taken might have been hidden, or unpaved, or simply under construction. Waiting to be complete before it presented itself.

Kind of makes you wonder.....

It Takes a Funeral

As we have many mornings this last week, today we watched news coming from Haiti. Horrible, horrible devastation there.

A lot of today's stories, however, were focusing on the rescue efforts, success stories, areas of need. It has been mentioned so many times that relief efforts are coming from all over the world. In fact, I have a friend from high school that is a nurse and she has volunteered to go. I know because she put out a Facebook plea for other nurses to join her (its an organized program with her hospital, she isn't just hopping on a plane).

It struck me that she, as well as others, will be working side-by-side with folks from who-knows-where. Possibly folks from countries that don't like America very much. I thought how it takes a tragedy to bring the world together.

Kind of like a funeral does for a family.

How many times have you attended a funeral and saw people that you haven't seen in years? Probably had any number of opportunities, just didn't prioritize it enough to see it through. We've all heard stories of a funeral healing a rift in a family. Maybe a parent passes away and siblings that have been feuding for years suddenly can't really remember why or over what.

It sometimes takes death, destruction, devastation to begin the process of hope, healing, rebirth.

While I would never, ever, wish on anyone the events that have taken place in Haiti since January 12, I can pray that there is some good that comes from it.

I could wish that world leaders would see how the ordinary citizens of their countries reached out in a common mission of help and healing and maybe rethink some of their own policies towards each other. I can pray that maybe the led will become the leaders. That someone, somewhere, will extend a hand of peace to another or change their views about an entire group of people.

I'm not saying the Palestinians and Israelis will suddenly make peace but maybe some other groups can.

Kind of like Rodney King said so many years ago, "Can't we all just get along?"

And if so, why do we wait so long to make the effort? Why does it take having something snatched out from underneath us before we realize how much we have and how good our lives are?

And why do we have to keep learning this same lesson over and over and over?

He Leads With His Heart

Recently I was listening to a video where one of my favorite artists was being honored for his work. This was a songwriting award. During the introduction the speaker went on to talk about all the things this person does for his community and charities and things outside of his profession.

He said, and I'm going from memory so it isn't a direct quote, ".. in all things he does, he leads with his heart."

I thought that was pretty cool.

Especially in today's world where so much is about money or politics or being politically correct and so on.

Maybe if we all lead with our hearts instead of our heads the world would be a different place.

Perhaps people would be kinder, more generous, less suspicious of one another.

Maybe wars would cease.

People could live their lives doing what they felt was right and know they were not alone in that stance. I think that is what happens sometimes. People are afraid or reluctant to lead with their hearts because they think they are the only ones doing it. That everyone else is looking out for themselves and their best interest and not always making decisions for the good of the whole.

It morphs into a "if you can't beat them, join them" mentality.

I see it everyday in business. How do we keep a client that a rival firm is trying to steal? My answer is always through good quality work and excellent customer service but my partners tend to have different views. Not in a bad way but just in a different approach to the problem. People looking for shortcuts on tax returns or making business decisions to undercut the competition.

I heard a story on Fox New this morning about a company in New York that stopped outsourcing their manufacturing to Asia and ended up employing a large percentage of their town's population. They recognized that people in America wanted to support American products but they also saw that they could help out the hometown folks in a time where economics is key. I think this is a good example. Or at least a partial one. This company could probably make more profits with the less expensive Asian labor. Or move their production to a less expensive state than New York. Or any number of other things that would probably benefitted their bottom line. But I think it was an admirable decision to make business changes that benefitted the people, the town itself, the state, and our great nation.

Leading with the heart could take some time to get used to, but I think it would be worth it.

I know I am a Pollyanna. I admit it. Sometimes I'm proud of it. But if we don't dream of change for the better then we have very little to look forward to, don't we?

CFE

One of my goals this year is to take the examination to be a Certified Fraud Examiner - CFE.

Yes, this will give me three more letters behind my name, but it will also afford both me and my firm to take on new and challenging engagements in the fraud arena. Unfortunately, fraud is very prevalent, especially in economically challenging times and the services of a CFE are needed. Since I am starting my 21st busy season I kind of relish the idea of some work that is not only focused on numbers.

But, I think the greatest fraud right now is being perpetrated on the American people by our own Congress.

Every time I hear someone in the media talk about the "Cornhusker Kickback" or the "Louisiana Purchase" I get sick to my stomach and infuriated.

While there was probably a whole lot more of this than we are aware of, these two elected representatives either 1) voted for a bill that they didn't truly support simply so their individual states could benefit; or 2) they actually believed the bill being presented was a good thing for our country but decided to hijack the legislative process and hold out their vote so that their individual states could benefit.

Either one is wrong.

I'm not blasting the bill itself. I'm also not blasting the idea behind the bill. The insurance industry in this country has not done any favors for health care. Reform is absolutely needed. I have said before that I strongly disagree with some of the methods of reform that have been reported to be in the bill, but, at over 2,000 pages long, who really knows what all is in the bill.

I know I'm standing on my soapbox and I've said all this before, but it is just wrong.

No bill should be over 2,000 pages long. All that says to me is there is a bunch of unnecessary garbage in there.

No Congress should be coerced into voting on something that long that they couldn't possibly have read. That they did so speaks volumes to me of the disrespect the Congress truly has for its own constituents.

As an auditor, I audit governments and non-profit organizations that receive federal funding. I have 17 compliance requirements that I have to address for each program. Some aren't applicable, but you have to document that as well. The first couple of compliance items are pretty much universally applicable - Allowable Costs and Allowable Activities. I have to determine if program funds are being spent in accordance with program guidelines and if those costs are reasonable and necessary in nature. I need to make a determination whether funds being used to supplement other sources of funding, or is the entity supplanting with federal dollars what they should be doing with other monies.

How are Earth can a bill this big be condensed enough to be something that I, or any other CPA, can audit? How can I know that everything that should be included in the program is included? If you are in a state that received some kind of preferential treatment how do you document that? This "thing" is completely unwieldy and I see nothing but problems.

Yes, I know that the United States is the only place that I want to live. At least long term. But there are a few places that I wouldn't mind giving a shot to, just to confirm my thinking. That doesn't, however, mean that it is the perfect place.

It isn't.

There are problems and flaws in the System and they aren't going to get any better. The whole thing has become a game and we're all the pawns.

We are no longer seeing a government for the people, by the people. It is a government for whichever group can get the best deal.

Sad, really.

Where is Mr. Smith when you need him?

Happy New Year!

What a year 2009 was!

I said to Billy the other day "I like my life."

And it's true.

I always journal a "Year in Review" on New Year's Eve (I'm a day late this year because Riley decided to have a few seizures the last couple of days - not bad ones and not many but you learn to sleep when he's sleeping so my schedule is all off) and really take some time to think about everything that happened. I get a chance to wipe the slate clean of any mistakes I made, see how to improve on things I did well, and plan for what I want to accomplish in the coming year.

I never make resolutions, only set goals. If I have a goal then I can always be working towards it. With resolutions it seems to be a Pass or Fail kind of thing. Why would anyone intentionally set themselves up for failure?

We have a simple life, but it is a good one. No cameras follow us down the street chronicling our every move, my husband didn't have any other women (much less 14) coming out of the woodwork with infidelity accusations, there was no secret life of drug use revealed, and so on and so on.

We have each other. We have our sisters and brother and their families and moms that we love and adore. I have beautiful memories of a dad that I miss each and every day and am fortunate for his family that helps me keep him alive inside.

I have a good job, though stressful, and a boss that is finally starting to see that I am capable of more than he thought. I think having a successful peer review was the real turning point. His attitude is changing little by little. I work with a great group of people and have a supportive husband that understands the long hours and weekends and does all that he can to help out at home so that I have one less thing to worry about. And when I say all that he can - I mean everything. He shops, cleans, does the laundry, everything. I have virtually no responsibilities on the weeks that he is home. The weeks he works in Arkansas he has no expectations that all this stuff gets done in his absence. I take care of the Magnificent 7 and that is all he asks of me.

Our families were blessed this year. We did lose one member on my dad's side but gained one on my mom's. The sadness of losing my cousin was tempered somewhat by getting to see my uncle, my aunt, and all the other cousins that I hadn't seen for years. Sitting outside Tom's house with Guy and Steven was a really cool night and one I won't forget. I was glad I could find a way to go.

What do I see for 2010? Our family will be expanding again when my cousin gets married in June. There is a baby due in July on my dad's side. I have some professional development goals that are in motion and at least one will be completed in the next few months. I have a very cool trip in the works with one of my dad's brothers to go see the area where they grew up before they all moved to Arkansas and try to get some of that family history documented. (I'm fascinated by where I came from and how I got here and what makes me the way I am.) I'm also excited about a trip with my mom and niece in July to Washington DC. I've never been and it should be tons of fun. Brett is an incredible young girl (she'll be 12 when we go) - funny, intelligent, articulate - and it should be an awesome trip and good opportunity to spend some quality time together. I'm working on some other plans with my nephews. Their schedules are tough and the distance from their house to Natchez is an obstacle, but obstacles are meant to be moved so I will work something out.

I hope and pray for continued good health. I keep trying to do my part wherever possible. I pray that for all my friends and family. We've all been very blessed in that department. If that changes then I'll pray for the strength to face it head on and plow through.

So yes, I like my life.

Love it, actually.

And I don't see that changing in 2010. My wish for you is the same. If you don't like your life then work towards changing it so you will. It won't happen overnight most likely but anything worth having is worth working for.

So Happy New Year! Have a wonderful day.

Happy Birthday Mom!

I'm sure most of you expected to see a Christmas blog today. I do tend to discuss the holidays and what they mean to me.

But, today is also my mother's birthday. As we have learned over the years, when you share a birthday with Jesus you very often play the second fiddle.

Not today.

That is not to say that this blog won't have some of my favorite Christmas memories. They are there, wrapped up with Mom's birthday.

Mom has mentioned, on numerous occasions, that she had only one birthday party growing up - when she was 5. We couldn't do too much to change this while we were growing up, but we have made the effort since we became adults.

While I'm certain the original idea came from Mom, Daddy always impressed upon us to wrap one present in birthday paper. We never did that whole "here's your Christmas birthday present" thing. We have always made an effort to have a birthday present.

Over time, Andrea and I have tried to even mix it up a little more. Make the birthday part of the equation even more memorable.

For instance, in 2002 Andrea and I took Mom to New York City.

She'd never been.

It was a total surprise.

And there is nothing in the world as magical as New York City at Christmastime.

We worked for months on an itinerary - the Rockettes, "Regis and Kelly", Tavern on the Green, "The Producers", and High Tea at the Plaza Hotel. We also shopped and did the touristy stuff. We presented the itinerary to her like she'd won a prize on a game show.






I'm pretty sure she had a great time.

Always looking to outdo ourselves, for her 60th birthday a few years later we gave her something else she'd never had before.

A SURPRISE birthday party.

Now, people, this took some serious doing. Mom seems to know everything that is going on and we never were very good at telling fibs to her. It was complicated somewhat by the fact that Andrea and I both live out of town so we did all this planning long distance.

But we pulled it off. We were able to gather a lot of her friends and had a very nice lunch. And she was honestly, truly surprised. I'm still not sure how we did it.

There aren't any big surprises or elaborate gifts this year. This year it will just be our family, at home.

But that's good, too.

We will remember the family members no longer with us. Laugh about how Papaw finished his Christmas lunch at the hospital on the day Mom was born. Joke about the sack and Army boot Daddy gave her one year when she wanted a trash compactor. Reminisce about having Christmas Eve dinner after church at Sambo's Restaurant every year for a long time and the year that Papaw forgot his wallet.

Christmas is a magical time. It is a time for family and friends. Time for loving and sharing. And a time for remembering that our Lord and Savior was born to ultimately save us all from ourselves and give us the greatest gifts of all.

But in our family another very important person was born on December 25th. She was there for all the asthma attacks and sicknesses, all the basketball and soccer games, the weddings, births of her grandchildren, and more than a few funerals.

She's our mom.

And we love her.

Happy Birthday Mom! Hope your day is wonderful!

To Tweet, Or Not To Tweet

Fox News presented a story this morning about a woman whose 4 year old son drowned in a pool and she was tweeting about it on Twitter half an hour later. Some were taking the position that it was just appalling that a mom would do it.

First of all, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain the mom had to have been going through.

Secondly, no one should judge how someone else grieves. Grief is completely personal and no two people approach it the same way.

Having said that, I have to say I, too, was shocked at first but only for a second. In today's electronically connected world it might have seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do. We send text and mass emails, share information through blogs and Facebook. Why not Twitter?

It might have actually made the process marginally easier to deal with. That mother could tell the tragic news once and all her friends and family got it. She didn't have to retell it, and relive it, dozens of times. Say it once and then get on to the next thing she needed to deal with. Most likely funeral arrangements.

I know when Mom's husband was sick their friend did the Dicky Chronicles and it was a way to get the news out - both the good and the bad - to a large group of friends, who could then share it with other friends. There is no random repeating of the facts (which can get messed up in the translation) and no inadvertently forgetting to call someone while you were deep in your grief and shock. I think it probably helped by Mom in a lot of ways.

So, while I am often reprimanded for being "too plugged in" and not spending time with my family, I do see there are advantages to having these large online groups. I have been able to reconnect with childhood friends and family members that have become scattered over the years. It helps that I know they are only a mouse click away.

Before anyone criticizes the way someone else handles a tragedy I think they should step back and stop for a minute. People younger than me spend an awful lot of time on their electronics and they think nothing of sharing news that way. The mother of a 4 year old is most likely quite a bit younger than I and probably falls into that category. They have their cell phones on and ready 24/7 so it was most likely just instinct that she picked it up and tweeted.

I guess, like everything else in life, things are a matter of perspective. I'd say all things in moderation, including living electronically, but who am I to decide how someone else should live their life? As long as they are truly living it.

I also think, at least in this case, the breaths wasted on being critical would have been better spent praying for a young mother and family that just lost a child and will never be the same.

Well, At Least the Puppies Ate Good...

OK, I would have totally won the "How Martha Were You" prize yesterday morning had I called the Martha Stewart morning show.

Totally.

I decorated the Christmas tree and the house, made crepes (with Nutella and marscapone cheese), cooked a giant pot of chili with cornbread and Riley's gumbo, made sauce for the tortellini, did a little shopping, and I baked.

Christmas cookies and cakes.

Boy, did I bake!

On Saturday I pulled out the cookie press for some spritz cookies. (I learned from Martha Stewart that spritz is the German word for squirt, which is how you make the cookies.) Trays and trays of cookies. So I set out a sample, kind of for decoration.



Having finished my last task of the day, I decided to take Riley for his walk.

This is what I returned to.



I asked Billy if he ate all the cookies and got a response of "what cookies?". I looked in Scooter's usual "laying place" in the kitchen and found the napkin.

(Not to fear, Billy did get plenty of cookies. The tray was only a sampling.)

So, Sunday rolls around and it is time for the big project.

Cakes.






I had seen this cake on another blog and wanted to try it. One for work and one for us.

This cake requires 3 boxes of cake mix. I only have two cake pans so this was an all-afternoon process.

Mix, tint, bake the batter.

Repeat.

Twice.

While the cake is baking I'm decorating and have the Christmas music going and all is well in my world.

I get the last two layers out and they are cooling.

Decorating is not far off now!

I walked upstairs to tell Billy something. Gone two minutes, max.

Yep.

You guessed it.

Patches ate the last two layers.

Not completely, but I think he only stopped because they were still burning hot out of the oven.

I walked back upstairs, tears in my eyes. All I could say was "Patches ate my cakes. Patches ate my cakes."

Billy's response - "All of them?" (I think he would have been secretly impressed had one dog eaten 6 cakes layers in that amount of time but wouldn't have said so.)

I pulled myself together and went to further survey the damage. Patches had munched about a third from each layer so I thought I'd just cut that part off and see what I could do.

This monstrosity was the result.




You can't really tell, I couldn't bring myself to photograph any more of it, but the layers split and it wouldn't stand up and it was just a huge disaster of a cake.

Fortunately, Billy is big believer in the adage that the food is all going to the same place and it doesn't matter what it looks like. He has been eating on this mound for a couple of days.

(He has a good soul, don't you think?)

Anyway, I took the good cake to work yesterday and it was oohhed and aaahhhed over and generally well received.

And my lesson - either get higher counters or smaller dogs....

Stop Seeking, Start Seeing

One of the best lessons I learned recently was that sometimes we can get so caught up in looking for something specific that we may miss something else equally as wonderful.

Billy and I love to travel.

We just don't always do it well together.

He has some crazy notion that I know where everything is and how to get to it even if I've never been there before.

Maybe it's a man thing.

Of course, this is not a new problem for us. We had our very first fight as a married couple while on our honeymoon in the Bahamas - because I couldn't find the zoo. We walked and walked and walked up a dusty road looking for the zoo.

The Bahamas in August is just a little toasty, too.

We finally stopped and turned around and headed back, obviously no longer interested in the zoo. We saw the sign for it on the way back, partially obscured by vines and stuff. But, the fight wasn't completely that I couldn't find the zoo. It was that Billy found a street vendor and bought one bottle of orange juice and drank it in front of me without offering me as much as a sip.

Like I said, it was a little toasty outside that day....

Anyway, I've gotten use to our obstacle in traveling.

So, 20 years later, our anniversary trip, in Rome, and some things never change.

I actually have a fairly decent sense of direction. I know how to look at the Sun and get my bearings and all of that. Prior to this trip my biggest challenge had been New York City. You can't see the Sun for all the tall buildings so I had to develop another plan.

But I have NEVER been so turned around in all my life as I was in Italy. No matter what we did, we could not figure out how to get where we were headed. We even did the smart stuff like turning around and retracing our steps to get back to the beginning and start over and we would manage to goof up even that.

So, on that first Sunday afternoon we'd managed to turn a 10 minute walk to the sightseeing bus into an hour, or two, or so, and still couldn't get to the meeting point. Tired and more than a little frustrated I finally just suggested that we stop.

Right where we were.

I looked around and saw a large staircase. So, we went to the top to, much like the bear, see what we could see.

What we found was an incredible museum. We spent a couple of hours inside, just looking at sculptures and portraits and incredible art.

We'd stopping seeking and just starting seeing. We'd quit trying to just find one specific place and took in our surroundings. I couldn't help but wonder what all we missed that morning while we were focused on the map and where we were on it.

How many things did we not have time to see because we'd spent so much time just tying to find one thing?

(I know there were lots of things there that we didn't see - the Spanish steps, the Pantheon, the mozzarella bar,,, But, those are all just reasons to go back someday.)

How much in our lives do we miss because we are only seeking and not seeing? How many opportunities pass us by simply because they aren't what we were looking for?

I'd venture to say there is much. I think I am probably missing a lot in my world because I don't really stop to see all that is around me.

I might have just come up with my New Year's Resolution - stop seeking, stop seeing.

Oh, and one thing has changed, When we got to the museum we went into the snack bar - and SHARED a Diet Coke.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles....

And taxis and water buses.

Matter of fact, we used every mode of transportation in Italy except motor scooters.

First of all, let me issue a sincere apology to all the New York City cab drivers I have ever maligned. They got nothin' on the Italians. Male, female, car, motorbike, no matter. They all drive 100 miles an hour and the Rules of the Road do not apply to the two-wheeled vehicles. We had motor scooters flying out from around corners, going the wrong direction, and driving up the middle to get to the head of the line.

Bizarre!

And scary.

I got the bejeebers scared out of me more than once. As a non-Italian driver I also got some dirty looks and less than kind gestures. But, at least no one let know I was number 1 in their books.....

Also, with all due respect to my friends and family in Texas, if you think things are bigger in Texas, you've not been to Rome.

Jiminy Christmas!

Massive is the only word I have for some of what I saw and that word is woefully inadequate.

History literally rose up out of the ground everywhere you turned. I think the history part of the trip is the one thing that moved me so much. The preservation of it all. Living in Natchez, the oldest continually settled area on the Mississippi, I know something about historic preservation, but nothing like these people.

The Catacombs in Rome run for 11 miles. 150,000 tombs and 2,000 still have bodies in them. But you can go down and see them and the tour starts in an underground church that still looks like it could have services. We toured the Duomo in Florence. It is enormous! I think the Statue of Liberty can stand upright on the inside. But we saw a staircase and went down. Underneath was an earlier Basilica. It was like they razed it at ground level and then just built on top. The original Mosaic floor was still there. There were stone steps leading up to, now nowhere. The crypts of the early clergy was still down there as were the altar where they worshipped.

Touring Pompeii. Knowing that the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius was 1,930 years ago yet from certain angles you had no idea it was 2009. The vineyards were replanted and Mt. Vesuvius loomed in the background, same as that day so long ago. Gardens have been replanted with period-specific plants and the excavation continues. We saw both restoration work and new digging.

And the streets. Still stones or bricks. I was very profoundly moved by some of this in Rome. Looking at the Coliseum; knowing the early Christians were fed to the lions there. And having it be real. It wasn't just a story in a book. I was seeing where it happened. I was walking the exact same streets that they walked. Walking where Jesus walked (potentially, anyway). One of the guides was telling the stories of the deaths of Peter and Paul - punishment for being Christian. Since Paul was a Roman citizen he was given the honor of being beheaded. Beheading at this time was considered an honorable death since the death was immediate. Peter was not a Roman so he was crucified. Non-citizens had to suffer.

I just got chills being there and seeing all that I read and heard about for so many years. Sure, the food was fantastic. The weather mostly glorious (did I mention that two or three nights we actually slept with the windows open - in November). And the people incredibly kind, although Billy wasn't impressed with their manners sometimes. Of course, he also thought if he spoke English just a little louder that they might miraculously understand him. I learned, quickly, that while I could certainly ask my questions in Italian I couldn't always understand the answers. But everyone I spoke to was patient and we gestured a lot to get the messages across.

I think I could write for days about the trip, but I won't bore everyone. Suffice it to say that we think we could live in Florence. I think being an English-speaking tour guide there could just about be the ultimate dream job.

We enjoyed our trip, our time together. We learned what we won't do if we get the opportunity to go back someday (DON'T rent a car - take the trains. There are numerous blog postings just in the disaster of having an automobile).

But I'll leave you with a few pictures. They are all on my Facebook page if you want to see the rest.

Brad Pitt for President

Now, before you all get your knickers in a bunch, keep reading.

I've said before that when Billy and I first met we were on opposite ends of many, many spectrum.

One was politics.

I was raised fairly conservatively (OK family members, clean up where you spit out your coffee on that understatement) and Billy was raised a Democrat.

We at least called ourselves Registered Independents so we could decide in which primaries to vote and gave ourselves the "freedom" to vote the person not the party.

Billy was raised a Democrat.

This caused many a interesting election nights, especially during the Clinton Years.

Being from Arkansas, they were ALL Clinton Years.

I will make no secret of the fact that I despise Bill Clinton. Not a fan of Hillary, either, but I cannot stand Bill Clinton. One thing that Billy has always tried to get me to see is a division of the President, the Man and the Office. I don't have to like the person in the Office but there should be some level of respect for the Office itself.

I think he makes a very good point but I could never see past all of Bill Clinton's embarrassments to see anything positive that came out of his Presidency. I'm sure there were accomplishments and so on but not in my view.

Because of my conservative nature I have not been a big supporter of our current President, either. I strongly disagree with a lot of his ideas. But I've been trying to at least listen and give them time. Not to take a hard line before they've had a chance to develop and either succeed or fail.

Now, over the years, Billy has moved his outlook a little more to the center and looks more at the Person than the Party when he votes. But he has always maintained that whether or not our candidate wins the election we should support the Office and try to give some benefit to the decisions being made.

He also did not support Mr. Obama for the election but he has really tried to be positive and open about what is going on. Until the other day. I don't know what we were watching but he just blurted out that he was so disappointed in everything that was going on right now. He couldn't see that the nation was making progress and he thought Mr. Obama was disingenuous to say he was not disappointed that Guantanamo Bay would not be closed by the original January 2010 deadline.

Something else was said on the television and Billy just said "if all they wanted was a celebrity, why didn't they just elect Brad Pitt".

I felt sort of like a mom watching a child lose their innocence.

Ciao, Y'all!

The Eternala City - she is bellisimo!

Tonight was a Rome by Night tour and it was very cool. We'd seen most of it today but everything is better at night.

I will have full stories, with pictures, coming next week but I didn't want you to think I'd abandoned you.

We are having a wonderful time, and there are LOTS of stories to share, but I have limited time on the internet so I will sign off for tonight.

Ciao!

Inspiration

I wrote the other day in my other blog about being called someone's inspiration. It felt good and made me feel all warm inside.

I want to do the same today.

My cousin has her own blog, www.i-get-to.blogspot.com, and she wrote the other day about an idea that she had after talking to a soldier in the Dallas airport. Her idea was to buy some McDonald's gift cards and have them with you when you travel over the holidays and give them to soldiers. Help them save some of their traveling money and say thank you at the same time.

Awesome idea, I say!

Somehow her regional McDonald's office found out about her idea and is helping to supply her with the gift cards. Awesome again I say, on their part. And she will be teaching her children a very valuable lesson this year about truly giving.

Not that her children need that particular lesson - if you read about them you will see that they are already pretty incredible kids and give a lot of themselves very unselfishly.

So, I've been inspired and I hope you will be also. Billy and I are traveling this week and I'm going to get some cards today to take with us. I don't know if we'll see any military but I want to be prepared. Though, I suspect we will run into plenty of them when we come home through Atlanta after Thanksgiving.

I'm also thinking of taking it a step further. I have a lot of points on credit cards and hotel rewards and such. I'm going to sell those for other gift cards to help the soldiers with some Christmas shopping. I know several of the websites are set up to do it and it only takes a few clicks on my part. So what if I'm giving up a free night; they give up sleeping in a bed every night.

These men and women do so much that they deserve all this and more.

So, thank you, Darla, for your wonderful, inspired and inspiring idea. I'd love to hear from anyone else with a thought. Let's take this and run with it and see how many folks we can help.

When Heroes Fall - 2

Today we remember the true heroes, our military men and women. In light of the events this week, I don't think we can ever thank them enough for what they do, what they sacrifice, what their families give up for the rest of us.

But I will try.

To any soldier out there, past or present, or their family, that may read this: thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, your mission, should you accept it, go hug a soldier.

Or at least say thanks.