Dream Squashers

I have one of those perpetual, flip, desk calendars with famous quotations on each of the days. I've had it for probably 10 years so I read the same stuff year after year after year, but they are all good so it doesn't matter. Depending on where you are in life, one can hit it you in a way that it never had before. Takes on a new relevance, if you will.

I flipped over this one recently and it gave me pause. "Be careful with whom you share your secrets and hopes. Some people get their kicks from stomping on a dream."

I know people like that. And it is somewhat sad to me. Some people don't actually mean to do it but not showing support is almost as bad as coming right out and stomping on it.

I don't see what some folks get out of not supporting their fellow man. I try very hard to let my family and friends know they have my support for whatever they feel like they should be doing. I've gone so far as to volunteer for certain roles in the process should some of them start to change their dream to a reality. Try to show that I'm more than just a lip service and can actually help if they want it.

But the point was driven home the other day that sometimes I'm better at this with those who are outside my very immediate group. My husband wanted to do something, and I jumped on the bandwagon - the next day. Not as soon as he brought it up. And I hurt him. I didn't mean to. He caught me off-guard and I didn't respond correctly. I took time to think about it.

This is the same man that never hesitated when I wanted to pack up everything and move 1200 miles to a new state, new town, new job, new everything. This is the same man that does double duty at home every time I get involved in a play at the theatre that takes me away on nights and weekends. The same man that doesn't eat his dinner until after 7 pm during busy season because I'm not home. He never questions or wonders or thinks about it. If it is what I want to do then that is good enough for him.

He isn't wrong to expect the same unwavering support from me for things he's thought through and wants to pursue.

Now, all is forgiven on the homefront, but it taught me a lesson. Support goes both ways. (And I'm normally very good about it. He wanted to leave a job and go to work for himself and I said OK. He needed to take the promotion that moved us away from our homes growing up and I said OK. So its not that has been one-sided for the last 20 years.) And only we can give that to another person. It isn't as if someone can reach inside our hearts, pull out the support and hand it to someone. It has to be freely given, without strings, from one to another.

I am still pursuing a lot of dreams. I've said before that I'm part gypsy and I like to be always trying something new. I want to write and cook professionally and a half dozen other things. It's hard to find the time to do all that I want to but at least I know that I have my biggest fan in my corner and together we'll chase those dreams, mine and his, and see what happens.

Squashed dreams are like deflated balloons. Wrinkled up, tossed aside and left on the curb. How much better for you to be the air in those balloons, watching the dreams and hopes attached to them soar off into unknown than to be the one with the pin popping them and watching them fall.

I mean think about it. Who doesn't get a smile on their face watching a sky full of balloons float overhead? I know I do.