Dis-re-spect-ful

I don't consider myself to be old. Although my husband reminds me, frequently, that there was a time in my life when I considered a 43 year old to have one foot in the grave, my old-age scale has slid considerably north of 43. Remember, my grandmother is 95 (and a half!) so my frame of reference is slightly different.

But I guess I am a little set in my ways and some of those "ways" are, perhaps, old-fashioned.

Here is my current issue. The generation that would consider 43 as old is slowly losing their social skills. Manners included. I've had to just learn and accept that young men are going to wear their baseball caps at the table.

Today's teenagers, and yes I'm generalizing, spend so much time connecting to the outside world electronically that they no longer know how to truly connect. Facebook, Twitter, and My Space are all considered social networks but how "social" do you have to be when it is just you and your computer? Complete sentences aren't a requirement. Matter of fact, I see of a lot of incomplete words.

I mean, do they know that there is a difference between your and you're and that neither are actually spelled "ur"?

They also text constantly. They don't pick up the phone to make a call, they just type it. They don't walk down the street to see if someone can throw a football around, they just sit and text. They have hundreds of "friends" but no one to actually do anything with.

And apparently there are no boundaries. This is the story that really pushed me over the edge.

I was asked by a client to present a financial section at a leadership conference she is hosting here in town. Included in my session are also two other professionals speaking on different management topics. One of which is hiring practices. My client and I started talking about the generation gap between people our age hiring young people right out of college and having to accept certain differences. For instance, you may receive a resume' attached to an email rather than mailed with a proper cover letter. You may have to train someone to actually write a memo rather than type one with word processing software that has "spell-check".

Differences that exist in our electronically advanced world.

But, and here is the rub, my client related an experience from a few weeks ago. Her husband is a minister. Every few weeks the Youth Choir present and lead the music in the worship service. As she watched the young people during the service it became obvious they were texting.

Some to each other.

During church.

How incredibly disrespectful! To the minister, to the congregation, to the other choir members.

So where is the line going to be drawn and who is going to draw it?

I look to the parents - but these are people that are my age so I don't get it. I've heard all the "pick your battles" stuff but I don't buy it. Manners and social skills have to be taught, and they really are important. People do draw conclusions based on how you act and what you say when they meet you. Maybe it isn't right, but it is reality. I worked with a partner that wouldn't hire you if you put salt on your food at your interview lunch. To him, it said that your ideas were predetermined (you didn't check to see if your food needed salt you just assumed it did and salted it) and you weren't open to change. May have been completely off-base and he might have missed some good hires but that was his litmus test. One of my current partners just spent some time with his 16-year-old granddaughter and one of her friends. The friend will not be invited on another trip. She texted at the table during the meals. Even kept it by the shower just in case she needed to reply to someone immediately.

So, is it too late?

Can this tide be stemmed?

I don't know.

But I do know that I feel a little older than I did a while ago.