A wise man once said "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem". I have been struggling with an issue for several weeks now. One of the first blogs I posted last fall was about letting the bully win. I've been involved with an organization for several years and as the end of my term was drawing closer I found myself in the same position as so many before me - just waiting for the end so I could run and never look back.
All because of one person.
One.
I've really struggled with this and asked so many others in this organization why we all kept letting it happen. Were the contributions of one so much more valuable than all the others that we were willing to let good people leave and keep the one? Truly didn't make sense to me.
A few weeks ago some information was presented to me that pushed me over the edge. I knew I could no longer keep silent. If I did I would never forgive myself.
Several factors made this very difficult. First, I considered both persons to be very good friends. Second, the information was of a very personal nature and I had no wish to force it to become public.
So I wrestled with myself. The good thing about wrestling with yourself is that you will win. You are the only player. But that doesn't mean that someone else isn't going to lose.
So, with a promise to one to protect as much as I could and keep the identity secret I brought all my concerns to the other members of the organization.
And I cost a man his job.
No, I didn't cost him his job, his actions did, but it was my exposing them that was the final straw. And I did ask that he not be allowed to continue in his position.
In the end, the second person involved had to share also. My heart broke a little hearing all these things being said aloud to a room full of people. But I'm so proud that this person found what it took inside to do it. I was sorry it had to be done, but it did.
Being a grown up isn't always easy. It would have been easy for me to just wake up on July 1 and say "I'm out". But I just couldn't. I would have been allowing a person to continue behaving badly with no consequences.
I think I was raised better.
Sometimes you just gotta take a stand.
Good for you.... You would have left the office and your personal turmoil would have continued. You may have some now-but you have the peace that you did what was right. We all have boundaries. We take a lot and then one day you realize that your personal boundaries have been violated and you have to do something. I did a study on that and I have always wanted to do that study at church. You had to be very brave to do what you did but bravo. Brave-knowing thatt perhaps it could have even backfired. Sometimes we just have to do what we have to do. Most people are cowards. The weakest excuse in the world+"I don't want to get involved". They think more of themselves than situations that need to be corrected. You have true liberty today. God bless you my dear. The man made his own decisions. I heard the best word on the radio this morning that I plan to incoperate into my vocabulary. Friendemy (a person being your friend and your enemy). There are a lot of relationships like that. Not that this was-
ReplyDeleteLove you girl=your the best.....
Aunt Sue
And you have to "do hard things" in this thing called life. You are an inspiration and great example. Continue to stand firm, friend.
ReplyDeleteWell done. That took courage and lots of other "grown up" attributes and it sounds like you handled it really, really well.
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