Of course, your most natural reaction is "what's wrong with their mom?". Holding my breath I just stood there, waiting and listening. My breath left me when Billy turned towards me and mouthed two small, simple words: Dale's dead.
That the call might involve his big, burley 56 year old truck driving brother had not entered my mind. Not really. I told Billy later that I had had a vision in the last few weeks of the exact scene that played out, but in that moment his mother was the only person that filled my mind. Things became a blur after that. His sister was in Atlanta and it would be up to Billy to get to Arkansas and tell their mother. Not a job I would have wished on my worst enemy. His sister was insistent that their mom not get the news from a stranger, and rightfully so, so he dressed and packed his bag to be gone for a few days as I talked to her to see what had happened and what needed to be done.
A tragic accident had taken his life.
I was awake for the entire 5 hours that I knew Billy was making that long drive to Arkansas. I spoke to his sister a few times, called the funeral home since Dale had been in Illinois at the time of the accident, sent emails to those who would need to know the next morning. And I called Billy ever so often to ensure he was still awake and driving. At just after 3 AM I posted the news on Dale's Facebook page so his friends would know and could help me spread the word. I hated to have to tell people that way, but one thing I have learned through social media and networking sites is that news travels fast. I hadn't wanted anything on there, though, until I knew Billy was with their mother.
He said it was a hard thing to do. Having to sit her down and say those words no parent wants to hear, no matter how old your child. There's been an accident. Dale's gone.
The next few days were hectic with planning and calling and everything you have to deal with when there has been a death in the family, compounded somewhat by the fact that the death was unexpected.
Today would have been Dale's birthday. I can only imagine what his mom must be dealing with today. I can't tell you how proud I am of Billy. He has stepped up to the plate as the little brother and shouldered a mountain of burdens. He is taking care of Dale's estate and other affairs, has been in Arkansas more than he's been home, and calls his mother every night that he isn't with her. A fine son, and a wonderful brother.
I will miss so many things about Dale. I can't say that we were "close". Not in the sense that many would think about. But we were family. He was my polar opposite in many things, much like Billy when we met, and he was never shy about giving you his opinion. About everything. Because he had on opinion about everything! Music, politics, sports, you name it. I was stunned the time he told me he loved this blog and looked forward to reading it. One, I didn't even know he knew about it, and two, he had to have disagreed with just about everything I said in it! But it proved that at least he could be open to other ideas, he just wasn't going to agree with them. This past Christmas Billy and I each asked for a book - the ones by the President and First Lady Bush. Dale called me up and told me he was going to have to find another place to shop. "His" Hastings would never allow him back in if HE bought THOSE books THERE. Gave me a good laugh. He poked fun at some of the changes in Billy's political point of view, "blamed" me for it. I told him I could only save one Tanksley at a time but he could be next.
Sadly, I won't get that chance. At least not in this lifetime. I'm pretty sure you don't get to vote in Heaven so it won't really matter in the next.
He was always good for leaving a Facebook comment on my status. Good for the occasional phone call when a family matter needed tending to. He didn't always understand Billy's side of things and they had serious discussions on more than one occassion, but he would at least have the conversation. There will be no homemade CDs this year at Christmas of music he was certain we would love. And I have pictures from the one and only time Dale ever dressed up in a "monkey suit", our wedding. He told me later he wouldn't have done it for anyone else.
Dale was a big man, with a bigger heart. He was generous to a fault, reached out and helped so many and never, ever met a stranger. I have become Facebook friends with people I talked with at the funeral, and I've watched some of them become Facebook friends with each other. Even though we all live in different states. Still bringing people together. He loved his family, his friends, his life, his guitar, his music and his Razorbacks. I pray he has the best seat in the house come football season.
He left us with holes in our world and left us too soon. He was loved by many and will be missed by many more. May he rest in peace.
