I opened my Facebook page one night last week - either Friday or Saturday, I can't remember. Almost instantly the chat box popped up and it said "i miss u!"
Now, here is your "awwwww" moment for the week. It was from my almost 16 year old nephew.
Go ahead, awwwwww. I don't think he reads the blog so he won't know I told anyone.
My first thought was that he didn't mean to send it to me. But he did and we chatted for a few minutes. Then he was offline just as suddenly as on. No bye, see you later, or anything. Just gone. I'm guessing someone walked in the room on his side and he didn't want them to know.
I checked with my sister the next day to make sure nothing was going on in his world. Yes, it is OK for a 16 year old boy to be sweet to his aunt but it doesn't happen all that often so I was still a little skeptical. Everything was A-OK.
On Monday morning, though, she called to share a story. A teen-age drama that she wanted to tell. (still had nothing to do with him being sweet to me, but it put a few things together). My nephew had kind of goofed up the week before and had to suffer the consequences for it. What he did isn't important. Hardly breaking news kind of stuff, but he still made a mistake. And at first he asked her to cover for him.
To her great credit, she said no.
My heart soared at this point.
She told him he would have to 'fess up and face the music.
And to his great credit, he did.
We talked a little more about it and her comment to me was this: "I'm glad he has you to be his friend because I have to be his parent." That is the one thing she and I heard all of our lives growing up - I'm not your friend, you have plenty of those. I'm your parent.
Hey, tough job, but someone has to do it.
And, as her sister, I told her how incredibly proud of her I was at that moment for taking that stand. I hear, almost daily, stories of parents going and talking to principals, or coaches, or other authority figures and trying to get their child out of some situation. Instead of using it for the life lesson that it is. I lose a lot of respect for those moms and dads. I have to think that the primary goal of being a parent is to prepare your child to be an adult. That takes a whole host of skills that have to be taught. Life lessons need to be learned.
We all make mistakes. Many, many times a day. But we have to own those bad decisions as well as the good ones. Decisions come with consequences. They bring personal responsibility. I'm not sure how people get through life if someone is always fixing their mistakes for them. Not very well, I'd think.
I like that I can be the friend. That I can support the parents and love the child and get to do all the stuff that parents don't always get to. (It does get me in trouble on occassion. I no longer give the kids scrambled eggs for breakfast when I go to keep them. That is not on my sister's list of regular schoolday breakfast foods. I got a phone call one morning after everyone had been dropped off that corrected my misconception.)
But it is cool that I get to be included in the process of helping these wonderful children turn in to incredible adults, at least I hope that is what they'll become!
And I like that my nephew misses me, and tells me so. Maybe he has learned some valuable life lessons already.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Funerals are Funny Things
"Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions", so says the character Truvy in Steel Magnolias. I agree.
I come from a very funny family. And that is not just me talking, that comes from a lifetime of watching other people laughing whenever my dad, his brother or his sister ever got cranked up. Individually, they are hysterically funny. Collectively, Katy bar the door. "Outsiders" don't stand a chance. You will laugh until your sides ache and you can't take it anymore.
For my generation, a lot of that got passed on. In some cases, we just recycled the same material but had a new audience. The first generation recycled a lot of the same stuff too and most of us could give you the punch line before the joke was over because we'd heard them so much. But you'd still laugh.
I had the great honor of speaking at my dad's funeral. Tough, yes, but an experience that I'm glad I had. You see, I made people laugh. Instead of dwelling on the fact that my 55 year old daddy was gone, we laughed. I had them crying happy tears. Laughing through the tears.
I attended my cousin's funeral yesterday. He was 54. He carried my dad's name as his middle name and I remarked yesterday to my uncle that he was aptly named. He was very much like my daddy and the stories that people told about him could have been almost interchangeable. It was obvious by the attendance and the stories told that he was loved by many and will be missed by everyone.
The service and the time that I was able to spend with my family was truly spent celebrating his life.
I've written about this branch of my family tree. This was my oldest cousin - the first of us 14 grandkids and part of the group that moved to Texas when I was still very young. So my memories are scattered. But I have them and we shared a lot, in true family fashion. We laughed.
It occurred to me while I was listening yesterday that I think we're also celebrating the new life on the family tree that sometimes grows when we lose a branch.
You see, he was one of the 5 that I've talked about reconnecting with. He sent emails that were pages and pages long and I have an hour plus phone call where we talked like we'd just seen each other the week before instead of 12 years ago at my dad's funeral. But the reason that really prompted me to get in touch with all of them was because we'd lost another cousin on that side - my 43 year old cousin who was #6 in the lineup. I didn't want to lose anyone else without at least making the effort.
And I'm so glad I did. It meant a lot to sit there with my family and share stories and just be together. I got some of the best bear hugs from these wonderful grown men that probably carried me piggyback at one time, or laid on the floor and watched cartoons with me. They are fathers, and grandfathers, but were still the same wonderful cousins, just a little taller.
You find in your garden that certain plants have to be cut back or divided periodically to help them grow and flourish. While I certainly would much rather have my dad and my cousins back here in the flesh, that isn't the way the world works (and no, I'm not comparing my deceased relatives to dead tree limbs). But it often takes losing someone to help something else grow in its place. The hole left from the loss is a place for the new seeds to fall in and take hold. I think we'll all stay in better touch now. I met relatives for the first time that I hope to stay connected with. I think our family tree got a little stronger.
And no, it isn't fair. Parents should not bury their children and no one should get sick in their 40s and 50s. But, to quote a line from the funeral:
"Fair is where you go to buy a foot long hot dog".
But while you're there, enjoy the rides. See the shows. And make the most of it while its in town.
I come from a very funny family. And that is not just me talking, that comes from a lifetime of watching other people laughing whenever my dad, his brother or his sister ever got cranked up. Individually, they are hysterically funny. Collectively, Katy bar the door. "Outsiders" don't stand a chance. You will laugh until your sides ache and you can't take it anymore.
For my generation, a lot of that got passed on. In some cases, we just recycled the same material but had a new audience. The first generation recycled a lot of the same stuff too and most of us could give you the punch line before the joke was over because we'd heard them so much. But you'd still laugh.
I had the great honor of speaking at my dad's funeral. Tough, yes, but an experience that I'm glad I had. You see, I made people laugh. Instead of dwelling on the fact that my 55 year old daddy was gone, we laughed. I had them crying happy tears. Laughing through the tears.
I attended my cousin's funeral yesterday. He was 54. He carried my dad's name as his middle name and I remarked yesterday to my uncle that he was aptly named. He was very much like my daddy and the stories that people told about him could have been almost interchangeable. It was obvious by the attendance and the stories told that he was loved by many and will be missed by everyone.
The service and the time that I was able to spend with my family was truly spent celebrating his life.
I've written about this branch of my family tree. This was my oldest cousin - the first of us 14 grandkids and part of the group that moved to Texas when I was still very young. So my memories are scattered. But I have them and we shared a lot, in true family fashion. We laughed.
It occurred to me while I was listening yesterday that I think we're also celebrating the new life on the family tree that sometimes grows when we lose a branch.
You see, he was one of the 5 that I've talked about reconnecting with. He sent emails that were pages and pages long and I have an hour plus phone call where we talked like we'd just seen each other the week before instead of 12 years ago at my dad's funeral. But the reason that really prompted me to get in touch with all of them was because we'd lost another cousin on that side - my 43 year old cousin who was #6 in the lineup. I didn't want to lose anyone else without at least making the effort.
And I'm so glad I did. It meant a lot to sit there with my family and share stories and just be together. I got some of the best bear hugs from these wonderful grown men that probably carried me piggyback at one time, or laid on the floor and watched cartoons with me. They are fathers, and grandfathers, but were still the same wonderful cousins, just a little taller.
You find in your garden that certain plants have to be cut back or divided periodically to help them grow and flourish. While I certainly would much rather have my dad and my cousins back here in the flesh, that isn't the way the world works (and no, I'm not comparing my deceased relatives to dead tree limbs). But it often takes losing someone to help something else grow in its place. The hole left from the loss is a place for the new seeds to fall in and take hold. I think we'll all stay in better touch now. I met relatives for the first time that I hope to stay connected with. I think our family tree got a little stronger.
And no, it isn't fair. Parents should not bury their children and no one should get sick in their 40s and 50s. But, to quote a line from the funeral:
"Fair is where you go to buy a foot long hot dog".
But while you're there, enjoy the rides. See the shows. And make the most of it while its in town.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
A Mom, Divided
Last Friday night was one of the few nights that I ever wished for a more traditional family. It was a bad night for Seizure Dog and I was alone. My husband works out of state the first week of each month. So, I was trying to take care of Seizure Dog, keep the other 6 from getting into the mix (very unsuccessful at that I must say), and take mental notes of times and details to share with the doctor the next morning. It got so bad that I finally broke down and gave him Valium to stop the seizures.
Problem was, he was downstairs. We sleep upstairs. He was in no condition to navigate the stairs and he's too big for me to carry. He finally, after coming out of the seizure, ended up in the dining room, lay down and fell asleep. By now I had run the rest of the pack upstairs and shut them up in the bedroom. I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and ran back down to him. I curled up in this giant chair my mother gave us for Christmas but I wasn't going to be sleeping. Despite the fact that I'd been up since before 4 that morning and it was now pushing midnight. Sleep was not an option at this point. For two reasons, one is obvious. I was so worried that the Valium wouldn't take and he'd start seizing again. The second was that the rest of the group was not happy at being left alone and kept barking and running around. You can hear everything on those hardwood floors!
So I lay in the chair and thought how I wished that the bunch upstairs were "real" kids so I could explain to them that their brother needed me and they would be helping me out if they would just lay down and be quiet. But I couldn't. So I laid there, divided and torn between being there for the one who needed me but didn't know it, and being with the ones who didn't really need me but thought they did.
Well, situations work as they should. The barking woke Seizure Dog who jumped up, completely lucid, looked at me like "since when do we sleep down here?", trotted up the stairs and into his bed. Never heard another peep out of any one of them the rest of the night.
But I still didn't really sleep.
I thought about how really incredibly lucky I am that this was my biggest crisis. There are lots of moms who are divided with far bigger issues. Moms who have to balance being with a terminally ill child against being with her healthy children. Moms who work multiple jobs and wish they were at home with their families. Moms who have to decide if there will be lights or food the next week because the paycheck isn't stretching. Moms who are divided about staying in a bad marriage to protect their children or getting out and starting over. Divided between the known and the unknown.
A friend of mine from high school became a mom last week. First time. Fifteen years of waiting on an adoption - home visits, applications, disappointments. She shared with us some of the experiences they were going through in those last weeks. The indecision of the 16 year old with what has to be the biggest decision of her young life and her mother wanting her to do the right thing but knowing she'd have to support whatever decision her child made. Two mothers divided by one situation.
My life is a snap compared to what a lot of women go through. I'm blessed, and I know it.
Problem was, he was downstairs. We sleep upstairs. He was in no condition to navigate the stairs and he's too big for me to carry. He finally, after coming out of the seizure, ended up in the dining room, lay down and fell asleep. By now I had run the rest of the pack upstairs and shut them up in the bedroom. I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and ran back down to him. I curled up in this giant chair my mother gave us for Christmas but I wasn't going to be sleeping. Despite the fact that I'd been up since before 4 that morning and it was now pushing midnight. Sleep was not an option at this point. For two reasons, one is obvious. I was so worried that the Valium wouldn't take and he'd start seizing again. The second was that the rest of the group was not happy at being left alone and kept barking and running around. You can hear everything on those hardwood floors!
So I lay in the chair and thought how I wished that the bunch upstairs were "real" kids so I could explain to them that their brother needed me and they would be helping me out if they would just lay down and be quiet. But I couldn't. So I laid there, divided and torn between being there for the one who needed me but didn't know it, and being with the ones who didn't really need me but thought they did.
Well, situations work as they should. The barking woke Seizure Dog who jumped up, completely lucid, looked at me like "since when do we sleep down here?", trotted up the stairs and into his bed. Never heard another peep out of any one of them the rest of the night.
But I still didn't really sleep.
I thought about how really incredibly lucky I am that this was my biggest crisis. There are lots of moms who are divided with far bigger issues. Moms who have to balance being with a terminally ill child against being with her healthy children. Moms who work multiple jobs and wish they were at home with their families. Moms who have to decide if there will be lights or food the next week because the paycheck isn't stretching. Moms who are divided about staying in a bad marriage to protect their children or getting out and starting over. Divided between the known and the unknown.
A friend of mine from high school became a mom last week. First time. Fifteen years of waiting on an adoption - home visits, applications, disappointments. She shared with us some of the experiences they were going through in those last weeks. The indecision of the 16 year old with what has to be the biggest decision of her young life and her mother wanting her to do the right thing but knowing she'd have to support whatever decision her child made. Two mothers divided by one situation.
My life is a snap compared to what a lot of women go through. I'm blessed, and I know it.
My husband says moms are special. They are. He treats his mom like a queen which bodes well for me. (All parents are special and I have the utmost respect for all of them, especially single parents, but this post is for the moms out there). They are very often the glue in the family - the doctor, the chef, the driver, the shopper, the financial planner.
The expert mathematician dividing her time and energies.
Much of our time is spent being divided. Trying to decide between two things that we either want to do or feel we need to/should do. Life is all about choices. Sometimes we make the wrong ones. The important thing is that we try. Sometimes even making the wrong choice is better than doing nothing.
And to remember that no matter how bad we think things are at any particular moment, chances are someone else's life is a little bit worse.
So be grateful. And try to remember when you see people during the day to be kind. You have no idea what math problems they may be trying to solve.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Update
There are many more posts in the works, but life has been a little hectic lately. But I'm still working on them, have no fear!
I am very psyched right now. You may have noticed a link on the blog site. A link to Serious Life Magazine. This is a free online magazine with a lot of neat stuff. The articles are primarily faith-based and cover children, family life, adoption, marriage, living with illness and a host of other things.
It also has a blog directory and each month publishes a few blogs. Well, the April edition has one of my blogs - The Big Picture - and I'm just tickled to be included. It's on page 127 if you're interested. And I hope you will be.
Check it out.
And stay tuned. I think you'll like the next post.
I am very psyched right now. You may have noticed a link on the blog site. A link to Serious Life Magazine. This is a free online magazine with a lot of neat stuff. The articles are primarily faith-based and cover children, family life, adoption, marriage, living with illness and a host of other things.
It also has a blog directory and each month publishes a few blogs. Well, the April edition has one of my blogs - The Big Picture - and I'm just tickled to be included. It's on page 127 if you're interested. And I hope you will be.
Check it out.
And stay tuned. I think you'll like the next post.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Naunie's Roses
A few weeks ago I was asked by my garden club to participate in the annual flower show. This is the second time I have been asked.
Let's just say my first foray into the flower show competition was interesting. I was so completely out of my league it wasn't even funny. I worked really hard on my entry, took it to the venue only to be sent home (temporarily) to find something live to cover the apparatus holding the flowers. Thankfully I have TONS of ivy growing in my yard.
I was given Honorable Mention. 4th place out of 4 in my category.
Hey, everyone's a winner that participates, right?
Anyway, I got the call this year. Now, I truly have a problem saying no to people. Its a fault. I know and I'm trying to get better. It is usually easier for me to say no when my husband is sitting there staring at me.
I got this call at work.
I also have to round up volunteers for other organizations so I truly sympathize when these ladies call. I could hear in her voice that this had been a struggle so I agreed. At least this year the flower show would be after busy season. That was a plus already. So she gave me the theme -- Victorian Weddings -- and told me that the lady hosting the show would be having an open house for the participants so that we could go and scout the location and decide where our arrangement would look best.
At this point I cracked up laughing. She hesitated. I apologize for laughing in her ear and told her that I just had a visual of me walking into anyone's home and saying "YES! This is where my arrangement should go!" I told her anything I could put together would simply be taking up space. You could actually her the relief in her voice and she started chuckling. "I need space fillers" she said.
Well, she is getting one. I will, of course, give it my best effort but my skills are limited.
I received a reminder voice mail about the open house this Sunday and jotted the details down on the scratch pad beside the phone. I saw them yesterday when I was home for lunch and my first thought was "Boy I wish Naunie was closer."
You see, Naunie, my 95 year old grandmother, always grew the prettiest roses and could arrange them. She always had little bud vases on the table and it was not unusual to be sent to get something from the outdoor refrigerator (in the store room, not literally outdoors) only to find coffee cans full of flowers from other people's yards. I asked her about it once, since I never actually saw anybody leave the flowers, and she responded that people just knew she needed them for whatever function she was attending that day -- church lunch, bridge club, whatever. She would do the flowers. (Side note - I do remember getting in trouble a couple of times for playing with the floral foam. I didn't know that once you squished it you really couldn't use it anymore. I got the message).
Apparently it is not genetic.
It is one of those things that I wish I had taken the time to learn from her while she could still teach it. Too often we think there will be time for something and we let other stuff take precedence and put it off. Even though my grandmother is still living, she can't see like she used to and doesn't really remember stuff like she should so, truly, the moment has passed.
Much like her skill with flowers.
I love to grow roses in my yard and I cut them and bring them into the house. It always makes me feel connected with Naunie. Something we share. I just wish I'd recognized what else she had to offer.
Maybe I'll dedicate this year's entry to her.
She'll be tickled with whatever we get. Fourth place will be just fine with her.
Let's just say my first foray into the flower show competition was interesting. I was so completely out of my league it wasn't even funny. I worked really hard on my entry, took it to the venue only to be sent home (temporarily) to find something live to cover the apparatus holding the flowers. Thankfully I have TONS of ivy growing in my yard.
I was given Honorable Mention. 4th place out of 4 in my category.
Hey, everyone's a winner that participates, right?
Anyway, I got the call this year. Now, I truly have a problem saying no to people. Its a fault. I know and I'm trying to get better. It is usually easier for me to say no when my husband is sitting there staring at me.
I got this call at work.
I also have to round up volunteers for other organizations so I truly sympathize when these ladies call. I could hear in her voice that this had been a struggle so I agreed. At least this year the flower show would be after busy season. That was a plus already. So she gave me the theme -- Victorian Weddings -- and told me that the lady hosting the show would be having an open house for the participants so that we could go and scout the location and decide where our arrangement would look best.
At this point I cracked up laughing. She hesitated. I apologize for laughing in her ear and told her that I just had a visual of me walking into anyone's home and saying "YES! This is where my arrangement should go!" I told her anything I could put together would simply be taking up space. You could actually her the relief in her voice and she started chuckling. "I need space fillers" she said.
Well, she is getting one. I will, of course, give it my best effort but my skills are limited.
I received a reminder voice mail about the open house this Sunday and jotted the details down on the scratch pad beside the phone. I saw them yesterday when I was home for lunch and my first thought was "Boy I wish Naunie was closer."
You see, Naunie, my 95 year old grandmother, always grew the prettiest roses and could arrange them. She always had little bud vases on the table and it was not unusual to be sent to get something from the outdoor refrigerator (in the store room, not literally outdoors) only to find coffee cans full of flowers from other people's yards. I asked her about it once, since I never actually saw anybody leave the flowers, and she responded that people just knew she needed them for whatever function she was attending that day -- church lunch, bridge club, whatever. She would do the flowers. (Side note - I do remember getting in trouble a couple of times for playing with the floral foam. I didn't know that once you squished it you really couldn't use it anymore. I got the message).
Apparently it is not genetic.
It is one of those things that I wish I had taken the time to learn from her while she could still teach it. Too often we think there will be time for something and we let other stuff take precedence and put it off. Even though my grandmother is still living, she can't see like she used to and doesn't really remember stuff like she should so, truly, the moment has passed.
Much like her skill with flowers.
I love to grow roses in my yard and I cut them and bring them into the house. It always makes me feel connected with Naunie. Something we share. I just wish I'd recognized what else she had to offer.
Maybe I'll dedicate this year's entry to her.
She'll be tickled with whatever we get. Fourth place will be just fine with her.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
We're Paying for This?
My husband and I watch a lot of C-SPAN. Sad, but true. Especially when there are big topics being discussed. I want to know what the people that are supposed to be representing me are saying and doing and how they vote so if they stop representing how I feel I can work to replace them.
I was forwarded a video recently. A video where Representative Brown from Florida was congratulating her Gators on a BCS Bowl victory.
I know I was forwarded the video because in it she stumbles through reading her prepared statement and she mispronounces several very basic words and doesn't always use proper grammar. However, I am in no place to judge that. I have gotten on stage and forgotten my lines, butchered words to no end and, even here, don't always type in complete sentences. So I won't fault her for that. I'm a firm believer in Bad Karma so I'm not poking any fun at her.
No, what I couldn't believe is that she was doing this doing working hours. All I could think was "We're paying for this." I'm all about team spirit and love college football, but really, is the floor of the House of Representatives the proper venue? I couldn't see who else was in the Chamber but I kept thinking that surely someone had some legitimate business to discuss and was having to wait for her to finish. Thankfully she didn't use the entire 5 minutes she'd been granted and yielded the balance of her time.
Maybe I'm wrong, or just cranky from a lack of sleep. I've seen enough C-SPAN to know there are lots of times where people are just milling around and don't appear to be doing much of anything. And they are getting paid for it. I just worked 276 hours in the month of March. One month. I worked hard. And I'm willing to bet I don't make as much as the members of Congress.
So, am I in the wrong business? Or am I wrong to expect just a little more from the people that I give a job to? Technically, I am their employer and as such I have expectations.
Great Expectations.
(Now, before anyone reminds me that I don't live in Florida and didn't elect Gentlewoman Brown and therefore did not give her a job let me just say that she is probably not the only one. I just haven't caught anyone else - yet.)
I was forwarded a video recently. A video where Representative Brown from Florida was congratulating her Gators on a BCS Bowl victory.
I know I was forwarded the video because in it she stumbles through reading her prepared statement and she mispronounces several very basic words and doesn't always use proper grammar. However, I am in no place to judge that. I have gotten on stage and forgotten my lines, butchered words to no end and, even here, don't always type in complete sentences. So I won't fault her for that. I'm a firm believer in Bad Karma so I'm not poking any fun at her.
No, what I couldn't believe is that she was doing this doing working hours. All I could think was "We're paying for this." I'm all about team spirit and love college football, but really, is the floor of the House of Representatives the proper venue? I couldn't see who else was in the Chamber but I kept thinking that surely someone had some legitimate business to discuss and was having to wait for her to finish. Thankfully she didn't use the entire 5 minutes she'd been granted and yielded the balance of her time.
Maybe I'm wrong, or just cranky from a lack of sleep. I've seen enough C-SPAN to know there are lots of times where people are just milling around and don't appear to be doing much of anything. And they are getting paid for it. I just worked 276 hours in the month of March. One month. I worked hard. And I'm willing to bet I don't make as much as the members of Congress.
So, am I in the wrong business? Or am I wrong to expect just a little more from the people that I give a job to? Technically, I am their employer and as such I have expectations.
Great Expectations.
(Now, before anyone reminds me that I don't live in Florida and didn't elect Gentlewoman Brown and therefore did not give her a job let me just say that she is probably not the only one. I just haven't caught anyone else - yet.)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Catching the Crumbs
I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies yesterday. Just from a mix - it is busy season and all - so don't get excited.
Most anyone with pets in the house, at least dogs, knows that eating in peace can sometimes be a challenge. It certainly is in our house. As my husband was eating the cookies he commented on one of our dogs in particular. "Watch Scooter. He's picking up the crumbs."
It hit me that Scooter is always like that. No matter what you're doing with food - eating it or preparing it - he is always watching the floor to see what drops. And he nabs it before any of the others even know it hit. They are too busy looking up. They want to be ready in case you're going to give them something. They don't want to miss out on that bite they think you're going toss their way.
They don't always get something. Sometimes they stretch their noses and find nothing there for them.
Scooter, though, is picking up what is being made available to him, regardless of whether it was intended or not. Will it fill him up or make a meal? No. But does he think he's getting something cool? Yes. (Side note, I one time walked into the kitchen to find a perfectly clean Tupperware container in the middle of the floor. I was bamboozled as to how it got there when I realized that 15 minutes earlier it had been in the middle of the counter with a leftover cheese ball in it from a few days previous. Somehow Scooter had stretched himself tall enough to reach it, pull it off the counter and lick the container clean. Not even trace was left! So, he can look up when the circumstances are right.)
So, where do you look in your every day life? Are you looking up and waiting for someone to hand you something or are you keeping your head down and picking up things that are "dropped" for you? Maybe its a hint from your boss that something better is coming your way if you keep doing what you're doing. Maybe its your spouse trying to find a way to tell you that something is missing in the marriage for him or her. Could be the wistful tone in your elderly parent's voice telling you that they are lonely and they wish you'd spend more time with them. Maybe someone is paying you compliments or trying to reach out to you because they need a friend an see one in you.
The "crumbs" in our lives can come in many forms. Our job is to always be on the lookout for them and scoop them up quickly. Act on them. Save them for later. Whatever needs to be done with them.
Will catching the crumbs fill you up? No. But you might you might just walk away with a pretty sweet treat. Beats an empty plate.
Most anyone with pets in the house, at least dogs, knows that eating in peace can sometimes be a challenge. It certainly is in our house. As my husband was eating the cookies he commented on one of our dogs in particular. "Watch Scooter. He's picking up the crumbs."
It hit me that Scooter is always like that. No matter what you're doing with food - eating it or preparing it - he is always watching the floor to see what drops. And he nabs it before any of the others even know it hit. They are too busy looking up. They want to be ready in case you're going to give them something. They don't want to miss out on that bite they think you're going toss their way.
They don't always get something. Sometimes they stretch their noses and find nothing there for them.
Scooter, though, is picking up what is being made available to him, regardless of whether it was intended or not. Will it fill him up or make a meal? No. But does he think he's getting something cool? Yes. (Side note, I one time walked into the kitchen to find a perfectly clean Tupperware container in the middle of the floor. I was bamboozled as to how it got there when I realized that 15 minutes earlier it had been in the middle of the counter with a leftover cheese ball in it from a few days previous. Somehow Scooter had stretched himself tall enough to reach it, pull it off the counter and lick the container clean. Not even trace was left! So, he can look up when the circumstances are right.)
So, where do you look in your every day life? Are you looking up and waiting for someone to hand you something or are you keeping your head down and picking up things that are "dropped" for you? Maybe its a hint from your boss that something better is coming your way if you keep doing what you're doing. Maybe its your spouse trying to find a way to tell you that something is missing in the marriage for him or her. Could be the wistful tone in your elderly parent's voice telling you that they are lonely and they wish you'd spend more time with them. Maybe someone is paying you compliments or trying to reach out to you because they need a friend an see one in you.
The "crumbs" in our lives can come in many forms. Our job is to always be on the lookout for them and scoop them up quickly. Act on them. Save them for later. Whatever needs to be done with them.
Will catching the crumbs fill you up? No. But you might you might just walk away with a pretty sweet treat. Beats an empty plate.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Nature vs. Nurture
I've mentioned recently that I started trying to reconnect with family a while back. My own immediate family is interesting in that my dad had 2 surviving brothers and 2 sisters. From oldest (living) to youngest, there is probably a 13 to 14 year age span. I know that my youngest aunt was about 9 when my oldest cousin was born. My mom just has one brother but she's over 7 years older than he so he was only 13 when I was born. I'm 13 years older than his oldest child.
Anyway, for a long time growing up I only had cousins on one side of the family. There were 14 of us. The oldest 5 all moved to Texas when I was still very young so my memories of them are more scattered. But I'm growing closer to 3 of them thanks to modern technology. But the rest of us spent wonderful Christmas' together and had family outings and stuff like that.
Back to the subject. One of my cousins that I've really grown quite close to (again) lately is one year younger than I. Her mom and my dad were sister and brother so they grew up with the same set of rules, values and so on. Now, I've learned that despite not seeing each other as much after my grandparents died - college, marriages, moving around - we are actually very similar in a lot of ways. I've been telling her its just genetic and we can't help it.
But, for some reason this memory popped up this morning. Just goes to show that not all fruit falls from the tree.
We were probably 11 and 12 - something like that - and had spent the night together at my grandparent's house. Apparently Saturday was cleaning day and Grandma didn't really care if we were "company" or not. Looked like two able-bodied young girls to her. So she put us to work. Dusting, cleaning the mirrors, straightening things up. I did the best I could but I had never really had to do much housework.
Then it came time to do the dishes. Oy vey! My cousin jumped right in, started filling the sink with water, grabbed the soap, started washing. I remember getting a look that said "these aren't going to dry themselves, you know." All I could do was stand there. In my house, doing the dishes meant you were either loading or unloading the dishwasher. Grandma didn't have a dishwasher. I was stunned.
She finally asked me why I was just standing there. I had to confess that not only had I never washed a dish, I didn't even know how to.
Now, Grandma was stunned.
She looked at me for a minute. Then she said, and I'll never forget this, "I'm going to call your daddy about this. I can't believe he never taught you to wash dishes!" And it was not that she didn't think I was telling the truth. She was not calling him to challenge me on my statement. I didn't listen to the whole phone call but my daddy was in serious trouble with his mama!
Meanwhile, my cousin tossed me a towel and gave me the down and dirty on how to dry. A lesson I've never forgotten I assure you.
As we've gotten closer over the last few months - I feel that way and hope that she does as well - I once again find myself looking to her for some guidance. I've shared thoughts with her before they go here and looked for her counsel on other things. I hope that I bring something to this relationship that benefits her as well.
You see, it isn't always the people we see every day that mean the most to us. I don't know that she and I have actually laid eyes on each other since the summer before her sister got married in 2005. But the roots of the family tree have kept us connected. Some times better than others but it is up to each one of us to be the fertilizer to those relationships. Nature can only do so much. Some times we have to nurture as well.
Anyway, for a long time growing up I only had cousins on one side of the family. There were 14 of us. The oldest 5 all moved to Texas when I was still very young so my memories of them are more scattered. But I'm growing closer to 3 of them thanks to modern technology. But the rest of us spent wonderful Christmas' together and had family outings and stuff like that.
Back to the subject. One of my cousins that I've really grown quite close to (again) lately is one year younger than I. Her mom and my dad were sister and brother so they grew up with the same set of rules, values and so on. Now, I've learned that despite not seeing each other as much after my grandparents died - college, marriages, moving around - we are actually very similar in a lot of ways. I've been telling her its just genetic and we can't help it.
But, for some reason this memory popped up this morning. Just goes to show that not all fruit falls from the tree.
We were probably 11 and 12 - something like that - and had spent the night together at my grandparent's house. Apparently Saturday was cleaning day and Grandma didn't really care if we were "company" or not. Looked like two able-bodied young girls to her. So she put us to work. Dusting, cleaning the mirrors, straightening things up. I did the best I could but I had never really had to do much housework.
Then it came time to do the dishes. Oy vey! My cousin jumped right in, started filling the sink with water, grabbed the soap, started washing. I remember getting a look that said "these aren't going to dry themselves, you know." All I could do was stand there. In my house, doing the dishes meant you were either loading or unloading the dishwasher. Grandma didn't have a dishwasher. I was stunned.
She finally asked me why I was just standing there. I had to confess that not only had I never washed a dish, I didn't even know how to.
Now, Grandma was stunned.
She looked at me for a minute. Then she said, and I'll never forget this, "I'm going to call your daddy about this. I can't believe he never taught you to wash dishes!" And it was not that she didn't think I was telling the truth. She was not calling him to challenge me on my statement. I didn't listen to the whole phone call but my daddy was in serious trouble with his mama!
Meanwhile, my cousin tossed me a towel and gave me the down and dirty on how to dry. A lesson I've never forgotten I assure you.
As we've gotten closer over the last few months - I feel that way and hope that she does as well - I once again find myself looking to her for some guidance. I've shared thoughts with her before they go here and looked for her counsel on other things. I hope that I bring something to this relationship that benefits her as well.
You see, it isn't always the people we see every day that mean the most to us. I don't know that she and I have actually laid eyes on each other since the summer before her sister got married in 2005. But the roots of the family tree have kept us connected. Some times better than others but it is up to each one of us to be the fertilizer to those relationships. Nature can only do so much. Some times we have to nurture as well.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Blogger's Note
Just to be clear - the issue I'm referencing in the Dream Squashers blog is not dangerous or ridiculous or anything that a truly prudent person would not have considered doing. No leaps off the Mississippi Bridge or anything like that.
And no, Mom, we're not moving again.
It was just something that was important to him.
My daddy told me once that when two people are in a relationship and they agree on everything then someone isn't holding up their end of the deal. I've never forgotten that. So this particular thing didn't fall into that category.
Don't want anyone misinterpreting.....
And no, Mom, we're not moving again.
It was just something that was important to him.
My daddy told me once that when two people are in a relationship and they agree on everything then someone isn't holding up their end of the deal. I've never forgotten that. So this particular thing didn't fall into that category.
Don't want anyone misinterpreting.....
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Dream Squashers
I have one of those perpetual, flip, desk calendars with famous quotations on each of the days. I've had it for probably 10 years so I read the same stuff year after year after year, but they are all good so it doesn't matter. Depending on where you are in life, one can hit it you in a way that it never had before. Takes on a new relevance, if you will.
I flipped over this one recently and it gave me pause. "Be careful with whom you share your secrets and hopes. Some people get their kicks from stomping on a dream."
I know people like that. And it is somewhat sad to me. Some people don't actually mean to do it but not showing support is almost as bad as coming right out and stomping on it.
I don't see what some folks get out of not supporting their fellow man. I try very hard to let my family and friends know they have my support for whatever they feel like they should be doing. I've gone so far as to volunteer for certain roles in the process should some of them start to change their dream to a reality. Try to show that I'm more than just a lip service and can actually help if they want it.
But the point was driven home the other day that sometimes I'm better at this with those who are outside my very immediate group. My husband wanted to do something, and I jumped on the bandwagon - the next day. Not as soon as he brought it up. And I hurt him. I didn't mean to. He caught me off-guard and I didn't respond correctly. I took time to think about it.
This is the same man that never hesitated when I wanted to pack up everything and move 1200 miles to a new state, new town, new job, new everything. This is the same man that does double duty at home every time I get involved in a play at the theatre that takes me away on nights and weekends. The same man that doesn't eat his dinner until after 7 pm during busy season because I'm not home. He never questions or wonders or thinks about it. If it is what I want to do then that is good enough for him.
He isn't wrong to expect the same unwavering support from me for things he's thought through and wants to pursue.
Now, all is forgiven on the homefront, but it taught me a lesson. Support goes both ways. (And I'm normally very good about it. He wanted to leave a job and go to work for himself and I said OK. He needed to take the promotion that moved us away from our homes growing up and I said OK. So its not that has been one-sided for the last 20 years.) And only we can give that to another person. It isn't as if someone can reach inside our hearts, pull out the support and hand it to someone. It has to be freely given, without strings, from one to another.
I am still pursuing a lot of dreams. I've said before that I'm part gypsy and I like to be always trying something new. I want to write and cook professionally and a half dozen other things. It's hard to find the time to do all that I want to but at least I know that I have my biggest fan in my corner and together we'll chase those dreams, mine and his, and see what happens.
Squashed dreams are like deflated balloons. Wrinkled up, tossed aside and left on the curb. How much better for you to be the air in those balloons, watching the dreams and hopes attached to them soar off into unknown than to be the one with the pin popping them and watching them fall.
I mean think about it. Who doesn't get a smile on their face watching a sky full of balloons float overhead? I know I do.
I flipped over this one recently and it gave me pause. "Be careful with whom you share your secrets and hopes. Some people get their kicks from stomping on a dream."
I know people like that. And it is somewhat sad to me. Some people don't actually mean to do it but not showing support is almost as bad as coming right out and stomping on it.
I don't see what some folks get out of not supporting their fellow man. I try very hard to let my family and friends know they have my support for whatever they feel like they should be doing. I've gone so far as to volunteer for certain roles in the process should some of them start to change their dream to a reality. Try to show that I'm more than just a lip service and can actually help if they want it.
But the point was driven home the other day that sometimes I'm better at this with those who are outside my very immediate group. My husband wanted to do something, and I jumped on the bandwagon - the next day. Not as soon as he brought it up. And I hurt him. I didn't mean to. He caught me off-guard and I didn't respond correctly. I took time to think about it.
This is the same man that never hesitated when I wanted to pack up everything and move 1200 miles to a new state, new town, new job, new everything. This is the same man that does double duty at home every time I get involved in a play at the theatre that takes me away on nights and weekends. The same man that doesn't eat his dinner until after 7 pm during busy season because I'm not home. He never questions or wonders or thinks about it. If it is what I want to do then that is good enough for him.
He isn't wrong to expect the same unwavering support from me for things he's thought through and wants to pursue.
Now, all is forgiven on the homefront, but it taught me a lesson. Support goes both ways. (And I'm normally very good about it. He wanted to leave a job and go to work for himself and I said OK. He needed to take the promotion that moved us away from our homes growing up and I said OK. So its not that has been one-sided for the last 20 years.) And only we can give that to another person. It isn't as if someone can reach inside our hearts, pull out the support and hand it to someone. It has to be freely given, without strings, from one to another.
I am still pursuing a lot of dreams. I've said before that I'm part gypsy and I like to be always trying something new. I want to write and cook professionally and a half dozen other things. It's hard to find the time to do all that I want to but at least I know that I have my biggest fan in my corner and together we'll chase those dreams, mine and his, and see what happens.
Squashed dreams are like deflated balloons. Wrinkled up, tossed aside and left on the curb. How much better for you to be the air in those balloons, watching the dreams and hopes attached to them soar off into unknown than to be the one with the pin popping them and watching them fall.
I mean think about it. Who doesn't get a smile on their face watching a sky full of balloons float overhead? I know I do.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I Miss Mayberry
OK, I realize that my view of life in the Fifties comes only from what I saw on television growing up, and as explained by my parents. I loved (still do) watching The Andy Griffith Show and Happy Days. I also realize that they showed mostly the best parts of life during that time. The innocence of that time. I can remember one episode of Happy Days that had a divorcee' and the great scandal that was. No one wanted to associate with her. Its hard to name one show on television right now that doesn't have someone divorced. (Side note, I understand there are perfectly good reasons for divorces. This is not a slam on anyone who is divorced.) There were no episodes with unwed mothers either, or if there was one I don't remember it. We're bombarded on a daily basis right now with unwed mothers - many of whom are so by choice.
I saw an online article the other day that says that the percentage of unwed mothers is at an all time high. The curious aspect of this, though, is that it isn't the typical teenage mother that we immediately associate with the term unwed mothers. In many cases these are career woman who are actually in committed relationships, just not married. Magazines are always showing us the latest celebrity couple about to expand their family. I even caught myself feeling sad the other day when I was reading People Magazine and under the births they actually have to specify whether the second party in the relationship is a spouse or just a long-time companion.
How did we to this point?
What really prompted this post was my learning the other day that "sexting" had hit our small town. Kids that are classmates of my coworkers children. Males and females.
I simply can't imagine what these teenagers are thinking when they are taking and sending nude pictures of themselves. Long before the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) craze, I lived by the WDBD rules.
Would Daddy Be Disappointed?
Most everything I did growing up was tempered by the fear of getting "the look" when I got home. So I didn't do a lot of the things that some of my friends or classmates did. That's not to say that I was perfect and they weren't, but I just didn't want to have to deal with Daddy when I got home. (Side note, it isn't that my mother was any less disapproving but my daddy's look was the one that would cut me to the core). Matter of fact, I still use that as a moral guidepost. I'm not entirely sure how Heaven works but I'm going on the assumption that potential is there for Daddy to see all I do and I really don't want to be greeted at the Pearly Gates someday with him standing there giving me that look. Simply isn't worth the risk.
So, back to my question. How did we get here? What can we do about it? I'm not so naive to think we can go backwards in time and eliminate all these social changes but can we at least slow them down some? These kids in town that I'm talking about are the ones in church on Sunday morning and Wednesday nights. They come from 2 parent homes - usually the two original parents. These are not the kids that you think have fallen through the cracks and need to be rescued.
I don't have any answers for this. I think the punishment for the 18 year old boy/young man in Florida who got mad at his girlfriend and sent her naked picture to everyone in her email address book was too harsh. Yes, now that it is public it may actually serve as a deterent. Possibly. My husband says they had to make an example of someone. Maybe so, but I find it hard to believe that anyone would have knowingly hit the Send button if that laundry list of punishments was made public beforehand. And, to his credit, he has accepted full personal responsibility for the act, which is something else I find woefully lacking in this generation, but shouldn't his girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend) bear a little of the blame for sending it to him in the first place?
Back in Mayberry, Sheriff Taylor always had a good moral lesson that was learned in the 30 minute show. Opie or Barney or even Aunt Bea would come out a little better for Andy's words of wisdom.
Wonder how he would handle this one?
I saw an online article the other day that says that the percentage of unwed mothers is at an all time high. The curious aspect of this, though, is that it isn't the typical teenage mother that we immediately associate with the term unwed mothers. In many cases these are career woman who are actually in committed relationships, just not married. Magazines are always showing us the latest celebrity couple about to expand their family. I even caught myself feeling sad the other day when I was reading People Magazine and under the births they actually have to specify whether the second party in the relationship is a spouse or just a long-time companion.
How did we to this point?
What really prompted this post was my learning the other day that "sexting" had hit our small town. Kids that are classmates of my coworkers children. Males and females.
I simply can't imagine what these teenagers are thinking when they are taking and sending nude pictures of themselves. Long before the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) craze, I lived by the WDBD rules.
Would Daddy Be Disappointed?
Most everything I did growing up was tempered by the fear of getting "the look" when I got home. So I didn't do a lot of the things that some of my friends or classmates did. That's not to say that I was perfect and they weren't, but I just didn't want to have to deal with Daddy when I got home. (Side note, it isn't that my mother was any less disapproving but my daddy's look was the one that would cut me to the core). Matter of fact, I still use that as a moral guidepost. I'm not entirely sure how Heaven works but I'm going on the assumption that potential is there for Daddy to see all I do and I really don't want to be greeted at the Pearly Gates someday with him standing there giving me that look. Simply isn't worth the risk.
So, back to my question. How did we get here? What can we do about it? I'm not so naive to think we can go backwards in time and eliminate all these social changes but can we at least slow them down some? These kids in town that I'm talking about are the ones in church on Sunday morning and Wednesday nights. They come from 2 parent homes - usually the two original parents. These are not the kids that you think have fallen through the cracks and need to be rescued.
I don't have any answers for this. I think the punishment for the 18 year old boy/young man in Florida who got mad at his girlfriend and sent her naked picture to everyone in her email address book was too harsh. Yes, now that it is public it may actually serve as a deterent. Possibly. My husband says they had to make an example of someone. Maybe so, but I find it hard to believe that anyone would have knowingly hit the Send button if that laundry list of punishments was made public beforehand. And, to his credit, he has accepted full personal responsibility for the act, which is something else I find woefully lacking in this generation, but shouldn't his girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend) bear a little of the blame for sending it to him in the first place?
Back in Mayberry, Sheriff Taylor always had a good moral lesson that was learned in the 30 minute show. Opie or Barney or even Aunt Bea would come out a little better for Andy's words of wisdom.
Wonder how he would handle this one?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Its Who You Know
The Madoffs have been making big news lately. You know them, he swindled billions of dollars from trusting investors, is whining that he can't stand it now that he's in jail and she's hoarding all her money saying it was hers and she had nothing to do with her husband's business.
Bull puckey, I say.
I don't doubt for one second that if I did even a fraction of what Mr. Madoff successfully pulled off I would have been thrown under the jail immediately, never to be heard from again. What he did was so far beyond criminal that the fact that he was allowed to remain in his penthouse apartment before he was formally charged and sent to jail just sickens me. Who did he know that allowed that situation to occur?
And, as for Mrs. Madoff. The lack of moral fiber in this woman is just beyond the pale! If I found out that my husband had pulled off this kind of stunt I would be cleaning out my bank accounts, selling everything I had to try and start making even minimal restitution to the victims. I would not be able to live with myself, surrounded by luxury, knowing that charities were folding, people were trying to return to the workforce and watching their life savings evaporate. Just go up in the smoke that was being blown in their faces.
I made that comment to my husband and he said I wouldn't do it if I'd been in on the whole time. That, too me, makes her actions even more reprehensible. You get married for the good, the bad, and the ugly. If my husband were in jail for something we both did, I'd have to go to. Again, I don't see how I could live with myself.
I guess it's easy to sit here, many miles and millions of dollars away from the situation, and voice an opinion. Rumor has it that you don't know how you'll actually respond to a situation until you're in it. We all like to think and hope that we would be the hero and save someone from a burning building but who really knows what you'll do when the flames are licking at your heels.
And, in truth, I don't want to find out. Not that I'm afraid of disappointing myself, but I just hope that I never find myself in the situation - of my making or someone else's - where someone's life or livelihood is at stake. I'm a bit of a Pollyanna and always want the best for everyone and spout rainbows and sunshine.
The real crux of the matter is that life IS about who you know. But not who you know that can get you out of situations. Who you associate with that will ensure you never find yourself in those circumstances.
Birds of a feather and all of that...
Bull puckey, I say.
I don't doubt for one second that if I did even a fraction of what Mr. Madoff successfully pulled off I would have been thrown under the jail immediately, never to be heard from again. What he did was so far beyond criminal that the fact that he was allowed to remain in his penthouse apartment before he was formally charged and sent to jail just sickens me. Who did he know that allowed that situation to occur?
And, as for Mrs. Madoff. The lack of moral fiber in this woman is just beyond the pale! If I found out that my husband had pulled off this kind of stunt I would be cleaning out my bank accounts, selling everything I had to try and start making even minimal restitution to the victims. I would not be able to live with myself, surrounded by luxury, knowing that charities were folding, people were trying to return to the workforce and watching their life savings evaporate. Just go up in the smoke that was being blown in their faces.
I made that comment to my husband and he said I wouldn't do it if I'd been in on the whole time. That, too me, makes her actions even more reprehensible. You get married for the good, the bad, and the ugly. If my husband were in jail for something we both did, I'd have to go to. Again, I don't see how I could live with myself.
I guess it's easy to sit here, many miles and millions of dollars away from the situation, and voice an opinion. Rumor has it that you don't know how you'll actually respond to a situation until you're in it. We all like to think and hope that we would be the hero and save someone from a burning building but who really knows what you'll do when the flames are licking at your heels.
And, in truth, I don't want to find out. Not that I'm afraid of disappointing myself, but I just hope that I never find myself in the situation - of my making or someone else's - where someone's life or livelihood is at stake. I'm a bit of a Pollyanna and always want the best for everyone and spout rainbows and sunshine.
The real crux of the matter is that life IS about who you know. But not who you know that can get you out of situations. Who you associate with that will ensure you never find yourself in those circumstances.
Birds of a feather and all of that...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Plugged In
Yesterday afternoon, my boss' college team won their conference tournament and earned a bid to the NCAA Tournament. I grabbed up my cell phone and started sending him a text message. The comment from the other side of the room was "What is it with you and your gadgets? The computer, your music, your cell phone, all your electronics. Could you survive without them?" "Of course!" I answered, with something of an attitude.
And just to prove it, I sat there the rest of the afternoon. I didn't Twitter, didn't tell Facebook what was on my mind, didn't send or receive email. I didn't even play Monopoly on my BlackBerry. I just watched television and started reading a magazine. Even dozed off for a while.
But I'll admit, though it was nice for a while, I missed it. I guess I have turned it something of a junkie. My emails are forwarded to my cell phone so I don't miss anything. I've reconnected with over 100 friends on Facebook so I don't want to miss an update now. I could spend, and have spent, hours with my Wii. I'm in love with my iPod so it stays handy if I need to block out the world. I've previously confessed to my YouTube addiction.
(I'm not as addicted to Twitter. I guess there has to be a silver lining in all of this. I get on there sometimes and see all the updates - waiting on a bus, brushing my teeth, going to bed, yada yada yada - and I do think that I really don't need all that information about folks.)
I am old enough to remember the world - clearly - without all this stuff. I remember the first Radar Range (AKA microwave) that took up half the kitchen counter. Our first "computer" was a Commodore 64 that plugged into a small black and white TV. We had a Pong game, then Atari. I started on the Nintendo craze after I moved into my own apartment. I remember when cell phones were mounted in the cars or carried in a bag the size of a small suitcase. I can still feel how the weigh of the first one I got that could be carried in my purse.
But I also remember spending Saturday mornings at the library and coming home with a stack of books. That stack was supposed to last all week but it often times it didn't. I could curl up in a chair and get lost in those other worlds with the characters. Playing at the pool all summer long in the fresh air and sunshine. Setting up Barbie's dream house and creating the stories for her.
On the plus side, and there is one, I have used all this electronic gadgetry to make and maintain family and friend connections. A few years ago I reached out through email to my five oldest cousins. Three responded and I'm in fairly regular contact with them now. And I'm glad for that. I can see pictures of their children and grandchildren and hear about what I missed not growing up close to them. I think, sometimes, there is something to be said for establishing relationships as a adults, even for people you've known since childhood. The same is true for my Facebook friends. We've been able to have a virtual 25th year class reunion online. And I'm learning so much about these people that I didn't know before. I have a lot in common with many of them and we never knew it. High school, for me, was very structured so if someone was not involved in a group I participated in I didn't have much opportunity to really get to know them. Those boundaries and limitations are down now. Now we are only limited by how much time we can spend online.
So, everything in moderation. I realize that I need to step back a few paces and re-evaluate how much time I spend plugged into the outside world. Make sure it isn't taking precedence over something more important - like having the Magnificient 7 slurp my face or curling up to watch a movie with my better half.
Life can be good, unplugged.
And just to prove it, I sat there the rest of the afternoon. I didn't Twitter, didn't tell Facebook what was on my mind, didn't send or receive email. I didn't even play Monopoly on my BlackBerry. I just watched television and started reading a magazine. Even dozed off for a while.
But I'll admit, though it was nice for a while, I missed it. I guess I have turned it something of a junkie. My emails are forwarded to my cell phone so I don't miss anything. I've reconnected with over 100 friends on Facebook so I don't want to miss an update now. I could spend, and have spent, hours with my Wii. I'm in love with my iPod so it stays handy if I need to block out the world. I've previously confessed to my YouTube addiction.
(I'm not as addicted to Twitter. I guess there has to be a silver lining in all of this. I get on there sometimes and see all the updates - waiting on a bus, brushing my teeth, going to bed, yada yada yada - and I do think that I really don't need all that information about folks.)
I am old enough to remember the world - clearly - without all this stuff. I remember the first Radar Range (AKA microwave) that took up half the kitchen counter. Our first "computer" was a Commodore 64 that plugged into a small black and white TV. We had a Pong game, then Atari. I started on the Nintendo craze after I moved into my own apartment. I remember when cell phones were mounted in the cars or carried in a bag the size of a small suitcase. I can still feel how the weigh of the first one I got that could be carried in my purse.
But I also remember spending Saturday mornings at the library and coming home with a stack of books. That stack was supposed to last all week but it often times it didn't. I could curl up in a chair and get lost in those other worlds with the characters. Playing at the pool all summer long in the fresh air and sunshine. Setting up Barbie's dream house and creating the stories for her.
On the plus side, and there is one, I have used all this electronic gadgetry to make and maintain family and friend connections. A few years ago I reached out through email to my five oldest cousins. Three responded and I'm in fairly regular contact with them now. And I'm glad for that. I can see pictures of their children and grandchildren and hear about what I missed not growing up close to them. I think, sometimes, there is something to be said for establishing relationships as a adults, even for people you've known since childhood. The same is true for my Facebook friends. We've been able to have a virtual 25th year class reunion online. And I'm learning so much about these people that I didn't know before. I have a lot in common with many of them and we never knew it. High school, for me, was very structured so if someone was not involved in a group I participated in I didn't have much opportunity to really get to know them. Those boundaries and limitations are down now. Now we are only limited by how much time we can spend online.
So, everything in moderation. I realize that I need to step back a few paces and re-evaluate how much time I spend plugged into the outside world. Make sure it isn't taking precedence over something more important - like having the Magnificient 7 slurp my face or curling up to watch a movie with my better half.
Life can be good, unplugged.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
The Fragility of Life
We were reminded again this morning of how fleeting life can be. Our local county sheriff was found dead in his home by his wife overnight. This is the third such case lately. We had a 22 year old found by his parents and a 29 year woman who had an asthma attack while on the phone with her boyfriend. The emergency personnel didn't get there in time.
Up until the end there was no sign that anything was wrong in any of the cases. They'd all been living their lives just moments before.
In Missouri and Alabama there have been mass shootings the last couple of days. Innocent people gunned down for no reason. Normal people going about their normal routines and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
In my own life, I've lost people rather unexpectedly. While I was a senior in college, my 18 year old cousin was coming home for Christmas after his first semester at college and was hit and killed by a drunk driver. My dad died before I was ready. And I had a cousin that at 43 died of heat stroke after successfully battling brain cancer for 10 years. She had only been given 18 months at the initial diagnosis. Having lost my stepfather this past summer to the exact same brain tumors 19 months after his diagnosis, we know that my cousin had much longer on this earth than expected.
The phone calls you get after one of these tragedies are soul-crushing. Someone you talked to, saw, shared a meal with only hours before is no longer there.
Don't go to bed angry. One of you might not wake up. Don't leave someone in haste because you've got someplace else to get to. Tell people good-bye like you mean it. Hug those you love. Tell people you love them if you do. Be genuine, honest and open in your affection.
Remember always that you might not get another chance. Don't waste the ones you are given.
Besides, whose day doesn't get better with a hug and kiss?
Up until the end there was no sign that anything was wrong in any of the cases. They'd all been living their lives just moments before.
In Missouri and Alabama there have been mass shootings the last couple of days. Innocent people gunned down for no reason. Normal people going about their normal routines and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
In my own life, I've lost people rather unexpectedly. While I was a senior in college, my 18 year old cousin was coming home for Christmas after his first semester at college and was hit and killed by a drunk driver. My dad died before I was ready. And I had a cousin that at 43 died of heat stroke after successfully battling brain cancer for 10 years. She had only been given 18 months at the initial diagnosis. Having lost my stepfather this past summer to the exact same brain tumors 19 months after his diagnosis, we know that my cousin had much longer on this earth than expected.
The phone calls you get after one of these tragedies are soul-crushing. Someone you talked to, saw, shared a meal with only hours before is no longer there.
Don't go to bed angry. One of you might not wake up. Don't leave someone in haste because you've got someplace else to get to. Tell people good-bye like you mean it. Hug those you love. Tell people you love them if you do. Be genuine, honest and open in your affection.
Remember always that you might not get another chance. Don't waste the ones you are given.
Besides, whose day doesn't get better with a hug and kiss?
Tomorrow's Fishwrap
I will confess that listening to Keith Urban is just about the only thing that gets me through busy season. I could listen to him play the guitar until his fingers bled and never get bored. His music just really speaks to me. He is so incredibly talented. So, I find any and all ways to hear him. iPod, CDs, podcasts, you name it.
You Tube has become a blessing. I can hear video clips from live concerts, old videos not on television anymore - and radio and television interviews.
I don't actually watch the videos because I am working, but I listen. Singing along in my head. Occassionally out loud according to my co-workers. So, yesterday, in the midst of all the videos that I strung together to play there was an interview Keith did. Suddenly hearing his voice and not knowing the words, I paid a little closer attention.
This interview had to be in late 2007 or in 2008. He was talking about putting himself in rehab for substance abuse problems. He had never intended to be very public with it but, to his credit, he's never shied away from talking about his time in rehab, and that this was not the first time he had sought help. He recognizes that he may be able to reach one person or help someone get through by sharing his personal story. But it is his very personal story.
So often we place celebrities or artist or whatever you want to call them up on pedestals. We elevate them and want to see all and read about all they do, forgetting that they wake up in the morning like we do, want to grab a cup of coffee like we do and go about their day. No one snaps pictures of me running into the coffee shop in a ballcap but, for some reason, the media follow these public figures and gives the rest of us all these details.
Whether they are actually true, 100% accurate details, they get reported.
Keith talked about how he had to reach a point where he wasn't reading everything that was being written about him. That he knew what was going on his life, he is in full communication with his wife and family and that he had to understand that whatever was written in today's newspaper would just become tomorrow's fishwrap.
I absolutely loved that line. Tomorrow's fishwrap.
How nice it would be if we could apply that philosophy to all the things in our everyday lives that don't go well. The person that cuts us off in traffic or steals our parking spot. The friend that hurt our feelings. The client that wouldn't co-operate. The child that defied us at every turn. Just mentally take that day's events, set it aside to wrap the trash in, and toss it out. Start tomorrow fresh. (Yes, I know that officially the newspaper is used to wrap the fish and chips that is being eaten at a meal the next day but it will be trash when the food is gone.)
I will admit that letting things go is one of my flaws. One of many. It isn't that I hold a grudge so much as that I don't just forget it. I may not constantly remind whoever slighted me of the offending event, but I will always know. Now, what is the purpose in that? Nothing. Something just taking up space inside me that doesn't need to be there.
So, I'm going to start trying to go the stack of newspapers in my mind and wrap a lot of fish. Seems a much more productive exercise than carrying them around any longer.
You Tube has become a blessing. I can hear video clips from live concerts, old videos not on television anymore - and radio and television interviews.
I don't actually watch the videos because I am working, but I listen. Singing along in my head. Occassionally out loud according to my co-workers. So, yesterday, in the midst of all the videos that I strung together to play there was an interview Keith did. Suddenly hearing his voice and not knowing the words, I paid a little closer attention.
This interview had to be in late 2007 or in 2008. He was talking about putting himself in rehab for substance abuse problems. He had never intended to be very public with it but, to his credit, he's never shied away from talking about his time in rehab, and that this was not the first time he had sought help. He recognizes that he may be able to reach one person or help someone get through by sharing his personal story. But it is his very personal story.
So often we place celebrities or artist or whatever you want to call them up on pedestals. We elevate them and want to see all and read about all they do, forgetting that they wake up in the morning like we do, want to grab a cup of coffee like we do and go about their day. No one snaps pictures of me running into the coffee shop in a ballcap but, for some reason, the media follow these public figures and gives the rest of us all these details.
Whether they are actually true, 100% accurate details, they get reported.
Keith talked about how he had to reach a point where he wasn't reading everything that was being written about him. That he knew what was going on his life, he is in full communication with his wife and family and that he had to understand that whatever was written in today's newspaper would just become tomorrow's fishwrap.
I absolutely loved that line. Tomorrow's fishwrap.
How nice it would be if we could apply that philosophy to all the things in our everyday lives that don't go well. The person that cuts us off in traffic or steals our parking spot. The friend that hurt our feelings. The client that wouldn't co-operate. The child that defied us at every turn. Just mentally take that day's events, set it aside to wrap the trash in, and toss it out. Start tomorrow fresh. (Yes, I know that officially the newspaper is used to wrap the fish and chips that is being eaten at a meal the next day but it will be trash when the food is gone.)
I will admit that letting things go is one of my flaws. One of many. It isn't that I hold a grudge so much as that I don't just forget it. I may not constantly remind whoever slighted me of the offending event, but I will always know. Now, what is the purpose in that? Nothing. Something just taking up space inside me that doesn't need to be there.
So, I'm going to start trying to go the stack of newspapers in my mind and wrap a lot of fish. Seems a much more productive exercise than carrying them around any longer.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Paid to Play
I have received several text messages this week from ESPN (yes, ESPN - I love sports!) regarding the contracts that baseball and football players are signing. $45 million for 2 years. $100 million for 7 years.
Millions.
I've said before that it is none of my business how people choose to spend their money. And I stand by that. But that doesn't mean that I can't challenge them to think about it.
Basically, these men (I know there's women's basketball and soccer but I only hear about men and the big bucks) are being paid to play a game. Entertain us. That's all.
I have a hard time swallowing those numbers for this type of work. If there was no baseball season this year (and let's face it, there have been several shortened baseball seasons because of players' strikes) what would we really be missing? Its not like the firefighters went on strike and everyone's homes burned down. Or the teachers quit teaching so our children all ran loose in the streets. Take a look at New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina and you'll get an idea of what a world without police officers looks like.
I think there are many professions that are underpaid and under appreciated. Entertainers and athletes are not among that list.
Growing up, I used to want to be a teacher. My mother, a lifelong educator, was adamently opposed. Adamently. Said I could do more with what I'd been given. (To her credit she also recognized a lack of patience on my part that is generally a prerequisite to teaching). I will never forget the day I got my offer letter from an international accounting firm. Thanksgiving week of my senior year in college. I was still in school and completely untested in my chosen field. My mother, 22 years of experience with hours above her Master's Degree, looked at it and said "You'll be making $500 more a year than me. That's why I wouldn't let you be a teacher."
Total reality check.
I know there are bad teachers, corrupt policeman, soldiers who go overboard in conflicts. But maybe society has set them up to fail. How can you attract the cream of the crop when they are barely making a living wage? I know many families in these very important professions who have to work side jobs just to make the ends meet in a very modest lifestyle. They aren't driving the big cars or living in the mansions. And yet, they protect us at night while we sleep. They rush into the burning buildings while everyone else is running out. They are shaping the minds of our future in their classrooms.
Just seems a little out of whack that we, collectively, put such a small price tag on such important work. The true pillars and foundations of our communities. Yet the guys that can jump the highest, run the fastest and hit the ball the farthest are negotiating multi-million dollar contracts for just a couple of years of work.
I realize I'm part of the problem. Daddy always said if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. I pay the big ticket prices to attend concerts. I pay for all the sports channels so I can watch football and NASCAR. I did quit attending professional baseball games after the second or third players strike. Found out I didn't miss it after a while. And I won't watch a movie or television if the actors and actresses have become too outspoken for my tastes and forgotten that they are paid to entertain, not espouse all their views of the world. Some nights I end up reading a lot.
As I said, team owner can spend their money as they wish. They earned it. If they want to pass out millions to one player, that's their business. But, if Congress, who is in charge of spending MY money, can pass out trillions of dollars for projects to watch beavers build dams and crickets mate, why can't we find the money to pass out the the people who really need and deserve it? There are school districts that can't buy basic supplies for their classrooms. Firefighters using outdated equipment. Surely there is a way to reprioritize our tax money. In long run, won't the benefits be greater?
Or maybe we really do need to know much gas the cows in Texas are expelling is depleting the ozone layer.
Millions.
I've said before that it is none of my business how people choose to spend their money. And I stand by that. But that doesn't mean that I can't challenge them to think about it.
Basically, these men (I know there's women's basketball and soccer but I only hear about men and the big bucks) are being paid to play a game. Entertain us. That's all.
I have a hard time swallowing those numbers for this type of work. If there was no baseball season this year (and let's face it, there have been several shortened baseball seasons because of players' strikes) what would we really be missing? Its not like the firefighters went on strike and everyone's homes burned down. Or the teachers quit teaching so our children all ran loose in the streets. Take a look at New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina and you'll get an idea of what a world without police officers looks like.
I think there are many professions that are underpaid and under appreciated. Entertainers and athletes are not among that list.
Growing up, I used to want to be a teacher. My mother, a lifelong educator, was adamently opposed. Adamently. Said I could do more with what I'd been given. (To her credit she also recognized a lack of patience on my part that is generally a prerequisite to teaching). I will never forget the day I got my offer letter from an international accounting firm. Thanksgiving week of my senior year in college. I was still in school and completely untested in my chosen field. My mother, 22 years of experience with hours above her Master's Degree, looked at it and said "You'll be making $500 more a year than me. That's why I wouldn't let you be a teacher."
Total reality check.
I know there are bad teachers, corrupt policeman, soldiers who go overboard in conflicts. But maybe society has set them up to fail. How can you attract the cream of the crop when they are barely making a living wage? I know many families in these very important professions who have to work side jobs just to make the ends meet in a very modest lifestyle. They aren't driving the big cars or living in the mansions. And yet, they protect us at night while we sleep. They rush into the burning buildings while everyone else is running out. They are shaping the minds of our future in their classrooms.
Just seems a little out of whack that we, collectively, put such a small price tag on such important work. The true pillars and foundations of our communities. Yet the guys that can jump the highest, run the fastest and hit the ball the farthest are negotiating multi-million dollar contracts for just a couple of years of work.
I realize I'm part of the problem. Daddy always said if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. I pay the big ticket prices to attend concerts. I pay for all the sports channels so I can watch football and NASCAR. I did quit attending professional baseball games after the second or third players strike. Found out I didn't miss it after a while. And I won't watch a movie or television if the actors and actresses have become too outspoken for my tastes and forgotten that they are paid to entertain, not espouse all their views of the world. Some nights I end up reading a lot.
As I said, team owner can spend their money as they wish. They earned it. If they want to pass out millions to one player, that's their business. But, if Congress, who is in charge of spending MY money, can pass out trillions of dollars for projects to watch beavers build dams and crickets mate, why can't we find the money to pass out the the people who really need and deserve it? There are school districts that can't buy basic supplies for their classrooms. Firefighters using outdated equipment. Surely there is a way to reprioritize our tax money. In long run, won't the benefits be greater?
Or maybe we really do need to know much gas the cows in Texas are expelling is depleting the ozone layer.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Only a Man
One of my partners was going to be traveling up state today to attend a funeral tomorrow of a long time friend and client. He asked if I would make a reservation for him since I'm in a few different rewards programs. Get me a few extra points. The town where the funeral is going to be in not very large and the gentleman who passed had lived there all his life so the hotels there were full. So I gave him the choice of two towns - one on either side, both about the same driving distance. No, he didn't want either of those. Let him think about it, he said. He thinks all night.
So he calls today after he makes the first client stop. Mixing business and personal on this trip since he would be in the area. Told me where he wanted to stay. It was not in either of the two towns I had given him but I made the reservation. Problem was I heard wrong. This town sounded an awful lot like another town. Greenville vs. Greenwood. So I made a second a reservation and cancelled the first one. Called him, told him it was taken care of. Back to work.
Or so I thought.
Phone rings again. He doesn't want to stay there. That's too far away from where he needs to be tomorrow. Doesn't know what he was thinking. He wants to be - you guessed it - in one of the towns I picked for him yesterday. So, I go online to make the third reservation, pick up the phone to cancel the second reservation (the cutoff time was drawing near) and call him back to tell him it was all taken care of. He would have to be me for the night and my "no calls taken during busy season" policy was now extended to him too.
I wonder if I can get double nights for this?
So he calls today after he makes the first client stop. Mixing business and personal on this trip since he would be in the area. Told me where he wanted to stay. It was not in either of the two towns I had given him but I made the reservation. Problem was I heard wrong. This town sounded an awful lot like another town. Greenville vs. Greenwood. So I made a second a reservation and cancelled the first one. Called him, told him it was taken care of. Back to work.
Or so I thought.
Phone rings again. He doesn't want to stay there. That's too far away from where he needs to be tomorrow. Doesn't know what he was thinking. He wants to be - you guessed it - in one of the towns I picked for him yesterday. So, I go online to make the third reservation, pick up the phone to cancel the second reservation (the cutoff time was drawing near) and call him back to tell him it was all taken care of. He would have to be me for the night and my "no calls taken during busy season" policy was now extended to him too.
I wonder if I can get double nights for this?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Selfish
The following definition is from Wikipedia: Selfishness denotes the precedence given in thought or deed to the self, i.e., self interest or self concern. It is the act of placing one's own needs or desires above the needs or desires of others.
It is not my intent to step on anyone's toes with this post. I do not have any children. The reasons behind that are personal, but I can say it is by choice. I believe, for the most part, having or not having children is a choice. Even women who cannot physically bear children can choose to adopt or foster children. (That is where the choice of actually "having" the children can break down because there are factors beyond the individual's control when dealing with our current adoption and foster care systems. I want to clarify that I understand that aspect and this is not intended to extend to that level.)
Anyway. As a person who has chosen to not have children, I have been called selfish. Usually by people that do have children. I truly don't understand that. I'm not sure, by the above definition, who's needs or desires I'm placing above my own. I can say that my mother-in-law desires to be a grandmother, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to become a mother. I suppose there are lots of children in the adoption and foster care systems that desire a permanent home and I would be considered selfish in that environment. I've always looked at it as being the needs and desires of someone with whom I'm actually personally acquainted. But I'll accept that if need be.
I'd like to make an argument that the woman in California, with no job and no father for the children, who just had 8 children to add to her existing family of 6 under the age of 7, 3 of whom have special needs, is the selfish one. She put her desire to have more children above the needs of the ones she had. Every child deserves time with their parents. Deserves to be loved and made to feel special. These older children will be robbed of their childhood as they will inevitably have to help with all the babies. (As a side note, I feel similarly about the family in northwest Arkansas that now has 18 children but at least those pretty much came one at a time and seemed to be the choice of a married couple.)
I will say that I am, by definition, selfish as it turns out that Ms. Suleman receives government assistance. That most likely means my money. My desire to spend my money as I choose should, in my opinion, be placed above her need for it. I was not consulted on her decision to artificially create 8 more lives. She shouldn't be entitled to one penny of my money without my say so.
A wise man once commented that just because you can do something doesn't always mean you should. Being able to bear children does not make you a mother.
Recognizing that you should not be a mother doesn't make you selfish. It means you were able to recognize your limitations and that your talents lied elsewhere. It means you didn't bow to peer pressure or societal conventions. It means you did what was right for you, and ultimately those around you. Taking care of those you love, in whatever capacity, should never be considered selfish.
And if Ms. Suleman truly had the children out of love and for all the right reasons, then I will gladly take back my comment.
It is not my intent to step on anyone's toes with this post. I do not have any children. The reasons behind that are personal, but I can say it is by choice. I believe, for the most part, having or not having children is a choice. Even women who cannot physically bear children can choose to adopt or foster children. (That is where the choice of actually "having" the children can break down because there are factors beyond the individual's control when dealing with our current adoption and foster care systems. I want to clarify that I understand that aspect and this is not intended to extend to that level.)
Anyway. As a person who has chosen to not have children, I have been called selfish. Usually by people that do have children. I truly don't understand that. I'm not sure, by the above definition, who's needs or desires I'm placing above my own. I can say that my mother-in-law desires to be a grandmother, but I don't think that's a good enough reason to become a mother. I suppose there are lots of children in the adoption and foster care systems that desire a permanent home and I would be considered selfish in that environment. I've always looked at it as being the needs and desires of someone with whom I'm actually personally acquainted. But I'll accept that if need be.
I'd like to make an argument that the woman in California, with no job and no father for the children, who just had 8 children to add to her existing family of 6 under the age of 7, 3 of whom have special needs, is the selfish one. She put her desire to have more children above the needs of the ones she had. Every child deserves time with their parents. Deserves to be loved and made to feel special. These older children will be robbed of their childhood as they will inevitably have to help with all the babies. (As a side note, I feel similarly about the family in northwest Arkansas that now has 18 children but at least those pretty much came one at a time and seemed to be the choice of a married couple.)
I will say that I am, by definition, selfish as it turns out that Ms. Suleman receives government assistance. That most likely means my money. My desire to spend my money as I choose should, in my opinion, be placed above her need for it. I was not consulted on her decision to artificially create 8 more lives. She shouldn't be entitled to one penny of my money without my say so.
A wise man once commented that just because you can do something doesn't always mean you should. Being able to bear children does not make you a mother.
Recognizing that you should not be a mother doesn't make you selfish. It means you were able to recognize your limitations and that your talents lied elsewhere. It means you didn't bow to peer pressure or societal conventions. It means you did what was right for you, and ultimately those around you. Taking care of those you love, in whatever capacity, should never be considered selfish.
And if Ms. Suleman truly had the children out of love and for all the right reasons, then I will gladly take back my comment.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Random Thought
I heard on the radio this morning that on this day in history baseball legend Ted Williams crashed his military plane after taking small arms fire. I think they said somewhere over Korea. I contrast that in my mind with the press conference this week with Alex Rodriguez explaining his use of banned substances. Just the latest in a long long line of baseball players having done the same thing. A-Rod was the highest paid player in baseball at the time. Its really sad what all these players are doing and the stain it is leaving on our American Pastime.
But the saddest part is that A-Rod is the one the kids will call a hero.
But the saddest part is that A-Rod is the one the kids will call a hero.
Generosity Begins at Home
I consider myself to be a fairly charitable individual. I give freely of my time, whatever talents I have, and money where ever possible. Those were the basic tenets of the Methodist church - promise to support the Church with your prayers, your presence, your gifts and your service. I've tried to apply those to other aspects of my life.
I'm very careful. I don't have an inordinate amount of free time and I work extremely hard for my money. My husband and I work together on saving and investing and enjoying our life together without being overly frivolous. We have all that we need and a lot of what we want. So I tend to check very carefully who will be receiving what I have to give. I support organizations that I believe in. Believe in their mission, believe in the populations they serve.
The difference in me and the federal government is that when I support an organization I get to make the choice who I support. The government takes my money and I am therefore forced to support whomever they choose. There is something inherently wrong there.
Because of the bill passed this week (mostly unread by the folks that voted on and signed it), I have to give people money to do what they should have been doing on their own. Paying their mortgages and bills. Living within their means. Building the best product out there, not one that falls apart just before the 100,000 mile warranty comes up. There was a day when a man's word was his bond and deals were struck with handshake. Now we generate reams of paper to be signed and a lot of people still don't hold up their end of the deal.
I've been unexpectedly unemployed before. Last recession. I know about being in over your head and the phone calls that don't stop and the constant mailing of resumes. It isn't fun in the very least. But no one - and I mean NO ONE - bailed us out. We got in too deep, it caught up with us, but we dug our way out. And when we were finally able to buy a house, it had an adjustable rate attached to the mortgage. Which we struggled with until we could lock it in at a reasonable rate.
The problems we're facing today aren't new problems. The current plan by the government is, however, a fairly new solution. And it troubles me. Where is the sense of personal responsibility and pride? Where are the folks that hold up their hand and say "No thanks, we'll take care of ourselves"? I'm certain they are out there (and Ford Motor Company does immediately come to mind) but they are few and far between. There are lots of hands being held out right now.
And very few of them I'd like to shake.
I'm very careful. I don't have an inordinate amount of free time and I work extremely hard for my money. My husband and I work together on saving and investing and enjoying our life together without being overly frivolous. We have all that we need and a lot of what we want. So I tend to check very carefully who will be receiving what I have to give. I support organizations that I believe in. Believe in their mission, believe in the populations they serve.
The difference in me and the federal government is that when I support an organization I get to make the choice who I support. The government takes my money and I am therefore forced to support whomever they choose. There is something inherently wrong there.
Because of the bill passed this week (mostly unread by the folks that voted on and signed it), I have to give people money to do what they should have been doing on their own. Paying their mortgages and bills. Living within their means. Building the best product out there, not one that falls apart just before the 100,000 mile warranty comes up. There was a day when a man's word was his bond and deals were struck with handshake. Now we generate reams of paper to be signed and a lot of people still don't hold up their end of the deal.
I've been unexpectedly unemployed before. Last recession. I know about being in over your head and the phone calls that don't stop and the constant mailing of resumes. It isn't fun in the very least. But no one - and I mean NO ONE - bailed us out. We got in too deep, it caught up with us, but we dug our way out. And when we were finally able to buy a house, it had an adjustable rate attached to the mortgage. Which we struggled with until we could lock it in at a reasonable rate.
The problems we're facing today aren't new problems. The current plan by the government is, however, a fairly new solution. And it troubles me. Where is the sense of personal responsibility and pride? Where are the folks that hold up their hand and say "No thanks, we'll take care of ourselves"? I'm certain they are out there (and Ford Motor Company does immediately come to mind) but they are few and far between. There are lots of hands being held out right now.
And very few of them I'd like to shake.
Monday, February 16, 2009
UNACCEPTABLE
Congress just passed an enormous bill - the Economic Stimulus Act or whatever they are calling it - and several members have admitted they didn't even bother to read it.
Didn't bother to read it.
At 1,041 pages, I can't say that I blame them. Unless Stephen King writes it I probably wouldn't read it either. But no one has asked me to vote on it. It isn't in my job description to read it. No one is counting on my reading it to make an informed decision that will impact their very lives.
Worse yet, the President is expected to sign it. He probably hasn't read it either. I don't even sign a credit card receipt without looking at it first. I certainly wouldn't sign a binding contract much less a major piece of legislation without reading it.
It should be mandatory to read it. If that policy were instituted then maybe we'd start getting bills that were only for one thing at a time. Not a bill that builds roads in one state, counts mice babies in another state, and collects guns in a third state. None of these bogus attachments that creates railroad lines from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. If we're all going broke then who has money to gamble?
What do half of these things even have to do with stimulating the economy? I have an economics degree - although I haven't used it for 20 years so I've forgotten a lot - but I don't see the long term benefits to throwing trillions of dollars into the system. I do seem to remember lots of arguments on why that doesn't work.
I don't know. I'm very disappointed. Right now, Washington is operating business as usual. There's been no change. No effort to get along. No means of working together just the side with more votes getting what they wanted. I hope all their constituents paid attention to how the Congress voted. I did and I'll remember it come the next election. If this stimulus package fails, and I don't know one way or the other right now, I can assure you I won't support anyone who voted for it. If it does work then clearly there are some intelligent folks at work for us and they should be kept on the job.
People can no longer just sit back and hope for the best when it comes to our government. I no longer believe they have my best interests at heart. Sad to say, but that's how I feel. Everyone has to take an interest and do what they can to educate themselves on the issues at hand. Our very lives and livelihoods now depend on it. If nothing else there is one thing that everyone can do and that is pray for our leaders and leaders around the world. They need all the help they can get.
Maybe this will work. Maybe there are good things in this bill. I don't know, I haven't read it.
Didn't bother to read it.
At 1,041 pages, I can't say that I blame them. Unless Stephen King writes it I probably wouldn't read it either. But no one has asked me to vote on it. It isn't in my job description to read it. No one is counting on my reading it to make an informed decision that will impact their very lives.
Worse yet, the President is expected to sign it. He probably hasn't read it either. I don't even sign a credit card receipt without looking at it first. I certainly wouldn't sign a binding contract much less a major piece of legislation without reading it.
It should be mandatory to read it. If that policy were instituted then maybe we'd start getting bills that were only for one thing at a time. Not a bill that builds roads in one state, counts mice babies in another state, and collects guns in a third state. None of these bogus attachments that creates railroad lines from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. If we're all going broke then who has money to gamble?
What do half of these things even have to do with stimulating the economy? I have an economics degree - although I haven't used it for 20 years so I've forgotten a lot - but I don't see the long term benefits to throwing trillions of dollars into the system. I do seem to remember lots of arguments on why that doesn't work.
I don't know. I'm very disappointed. Right now, Washington is operating business as usual. There's been no change. No effort to get along. No means of working together just the side with more votes getting what they wanted. I hope all their constituents paid attention to how the Congress voted. I did and I'll remember it come the next election. If this stimulus package fails, and I don't know one way or the other right now, I can assure you I won't support anyone who voted for it. If it does work then clearly there are some intelligent folks at work for us and they should be kept on the job.
People can no longer just sit back and hope for the best when it comes to our government. I no longer believe they have my best interests at heart. Sad to say, but that's how I feel. Everyone has to take an interest and do what they can to educate themselves on the issues at hand. Our very lives and livelihoods now depend on it. If nothing else there is one thing that everyone can do and that is pray for our leaders and leaders around the world. They need all the help they can get.
Maybe this will work. Maybe there are good things in this bill. I don't know, I haven't read it.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
The Big Picture
Back in the old days, late 70s and early 80s, when you went to see a concert you actually watched the performers. Side note - I do believe my first concert was Styx in Little Rock, early 1981. My very cool, and much younger than my unhip parents, aunt and uncle took me and some friends while Mom and Dad babysat my newborn cousin. I'm not sure if they kept both my cousins or just the one. Anyway, I digress...
Even if you didn't have great seats, you were steadily watching the stage. Trying to make sure you didn't miss anything. Then along came the advent of the screens on the sides of the stage. Helped you see the singers better. One of the first ones of those I remember was Alan Jackson, I think. Anyway, at the time we thought it was so cool to see the singers so "close up". Of course, with that you only see what the cameraman thinks is important to see, not all the action. Now there is a full on video extravaganza going on around and behind the performers. We just saw Brad Paisley and he had video stuff all over! He even had Keith Urban and Allison Krause there digitally for his duets with them. The Allison Krause was so convincing that it took a while to realize that she wasn't real.
But I catch myself watching so much of all the extra stuff that I'm not actually watching the stage anymore. I could be sitting at home in front of my television and not inside a packed arena. I'm missing the show itself because I'm looking at the Big Picture.
That started me to thinking. How much of life are we missing because we're looking at the Big Picture? We're working crazy hours to fund a child's future education, but missing the time at home helping with homework. We want big and better houses without realizing that if we're not there to enjoy them, or if they aren't filled with love then they are nothing but four walls and roof. We plan for a future retirement and all the things we want to do, without remembering that the here and now is all that we're promised. We want the Big Picture but forget that it is the small details that make it complete. An unpainted canvas on a wall is not much to look at. A child's drawing on a refrigerator can be a masterpiece.
So stop next time. Stop planning so much and wanting the next big thing. Enjoy the day that you've been given for what it is - a gift. Quit looking at the video screen and watch the stage. Its much more interesting.
Even if you didn't have great seats, you were steadily watching the stage. Trying to make sure you didn't miss anything. Then along came the advent of the screens on the sides of the stage. Helped you see the singers better. One of the first ones of those I remember was Alan Jackson, I think. Anyway, at the time we thought it was so cool to see the singers so "close up". Of course, with that you only see what the cameraman thinks is important to see, not all the action. Now there is a full on video extravaganza going on around and behind the performers. We just saw Brad Paisley and he had video stuff all over! He even had Keith Urban and Allison Krause there digitally for his duets with them. The Allison Krause was so convincing that it took a while to realize that she wasn't real.
But I catch myself watching so much of all the extra stuff that I'm not actually watching the stage anymore. I could be sitting at home in front of my television and not inside a packed arena. I'm missing the show itself because I'm looking at the Big Picture.
That started me to thinking. How much of life are we missing because we're looking at the Big Picture? We're working crazy hours to fund a child's future education, but missing the time at home helping with homework. We want big and better houses without realizing that if we're not there to enjoy them, or if they aren't filled with love then they are nothing but four walls and roof. We plan for a future retirement and all the things we want to do, without remembering that the here and now is all that we're promised. We want the Big Picture but forget that it is the small details that make it complete. An unpainted canvas on a wall is not much to look at. A child's drawing on a refrigerator can be a masterpiece.
So stop next time. Stop planning so much and wanting the next big thing. Enjoy the day that you've been given for what it is - a gift. Quit looking at the video screen and watch the stage. Its much more interesting.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Would you do it?
These posts rattle around in my head for a while before I put them down. Some might think not long enough, but here goes.
On October 21, 2001 we lost our beloved Stormy. She had just turned 11 two days before and we were not prepared for her passing. She was only sick for a couple of days. We were devastated. I was desperate. I missed that little 5 pound hairball so much! She was nothing but pure joy to us. She would lick my cheek in the morning to get me up. She was always just happy. She only once "copped an attitude" with me. I had taken her to get her teeth cleaned and she was still recovering from the anesthesia. I let her walk around in the yard when we got home and waited and waited. Nothing. So we went in. She bounded to the top of the steps, turned and looked at me and left me a "present". Her face just daring me to say anything about it. Then she went and slept under the bed for a while.
I came up with some pretty off the wall ideas for keeping her with us - the Space Bags idea immediately pops to mind. Included in that was cloning. Which is what prompted this post.
First off, I don't care one whit how anyone spends their money. It is none of mine or anyone's business. So it doesn't bother me at all that the couple in Florida spent $155,000 to clone a lab that they loved so much. Nor do I care that they cloned the dog. I still have locks of hair of the three that we've lost and never rule out any possibility.
But, it got me to thinking about our family. If we had cloned the three that we lost, would our family still have grown to the 7 we have now? Most likely not. Who wouldn't we have picked up to love? At what point would our home, but never our hearts, have closed to a little dog in need. We got #6 just hours before he was to be euthanized at the shelter so he might not even still be here. I'm certain that #10 with seizures would have been allowed to just keep running free on that Sunday morning.
But how much would we have lost by trying to preserve what we had? We would have missed a lot of unknowns to keep a few knowns. I might never have seen a completely blue-eyed dog. I might never have experienced the love needed to get an animal through a cluster of seizures. I might not have really known the love of animals that have lived a long time in a shelter and are so grateful for a home.
No, I don't fault that couple one bit for cloning their dog. Totally and completely their business. But as much as I miss those little faces - Stormy, age 11; Molly, age 12; and Christy, age 16 - and their very unique and individual personalities, I can't imagine life without the group we have now. Our lives are richer and better because of all of them. One of my very younger cousins made the comment to my aunt one time that their family had too many kids. She had two older brothers that were the source of that comment. My aunt looked at her very seriously and asked who she would pick to go away. Silence. Even at a young age she loved her brothers enough to not really want to be separated from them, despite the circumstances at present.
I feel the same way. If I had the opportunity to bring back any or all of the three that have passed on how would I ever decide who they would replace? They are all special and worth every minute I spend with them. I could never choose one over another.
So I guess my point is that while it is sometimes the easier to stick with what we know - easier, familiar, comfortable - you never know what you might miss when you don't get out of that comfort zone. There's lots to be learned out there, especially about ourselves.
On October 21, 2001 we lost our beloved Stormy. She had just turned 11 two days before and we were not prepared for her passing. She was only sick for a couple of days. We were devastated. I was desperate. I missed that little 5 pound hairball so much! She was nothing but pure joy to us. She would lick my cheek in the morning to get me up. She was always just happy. She only once "copped an attitude" with me. I had taken her to get her teeth cleaned and she was still recovering from the anesthesia. I let her walk around in the yard when we got home and waited and waited. Nothing. So we went in. She bounded to the top of the steps, turned and looked at me and left me a "present". Her face just daring me to say anything about it. Then she went and slept under the bed for a while.
I came up with some pretty off the wall ideas for keeping her with us - the Space Bags idea immediately pops to mind. Included in that was cloning. Which is what prompted this post.
First off, I don't care one whit how anyone spends their money. It is none of mine or anyone's business. So it doesn't bother me at all that the couple in Florida spent $155,000 to clone a lab that they loved so much. Nor do I care that they cloned the dog. I still have locks of hair of the three that we've lost and never rule out any possibility.
But, it got me to thinking about our family. If we had cloned the three that we lost, would our family still have grown to the 7 we have now? Most likely not. Who wouldn't we have picked up to love? At what point would our home, but never our hearts, have closed to a little dog in need. We got #6 just hours before he was to be euthanized at the shelter so he might not even still be here. I'm certain that #10 with seizures would have been allowed to just keep running free on that Sunday morning.
But how much would we have lost by trying to preserve what we had? We would have missed a lot of unknowns to keep a few knowns. I might never have seen a completely blue-eyed dog. I might never have experienced the love needed to get an animal through a cluster of seizures. I might not have really known the love of animals that have lived a long time in a shelter and are so grateful for a home.
No, I don't fault that couple one bit for cloning their dog. Totally and completely their business. But as much as I miss those little faces - Stormy, age 11; Molly, age 12; and Christy, age 16 - and their very unique and individual personalities, I can't imagine life without the group we have now. Our lives are richer and better because of all of them. One of my very younger cousins made the comment to my aunt one time that their family had too many kids. She had two older brothers that were the source of that comment. My aunt looked at her very seriously and asked who she would pick to go away. Silence. Even at a young age she loved her brothers enough to not really want to be separated from them, despite the circumstances at present.
I feel the same way. If I had the opportunity to bring back any or all of the three that have passed on how would I ever decide who they would replace? They are all special and worth every minute I spend with them. I could never choose one over another.
So I guess my point is that while it is sometimes the easier to stick with what we know - easier, familiar, comfortable - you never know what you might miss when you don't get out of that comfort zone. There's lots to be learned out there, especially about ourselves.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Things that make you go Hmmmm.....
Why is it that otherwise intelligent people get goofy when it snows? I was reminded yesterday of a story from my childhood. Arkansas got hit with an ice storm. My mom emails me before 6 AM that the her porch and driveway are slick but she's not sure yet about the roads. She guesses she'll try out her four wheel drive because she has to get her hair done. A hair appointment. Hardly worth the risk of getting out on the ice - in my opinion. (I was informed that it was more involved than just a cut and style).
Took me back a number of years. Any time that it snowed and school was out both my parents were home. All it took was for the newscast to say "Don't get out on the roads unless you absolutely have to" and both my parents would immediately go get in the car and take off. One time they got as far as our neighborhood park (basically around the corner) and had to CRAWL back home on their hands and knees when the car got stuck and it was too slick to walk. I was a teenager at the time so I was old enough to be mortified. I will say that when I was very young - and not old enough to know better - we used to have a big time. We'd go up to the mall parking lot an do donuts in the snow. Only we called them cutting hookers. My parents were/are reasonably smart people but snow was the big weakness. Go figure.
I've also been wondering what George Bush did on the morning of January 21, 2009. I mean think about it - you've spent 8 years with a full staff catering to your every need, daily meetings on all kinds of world issues, phone calls with heads of state, fancy dinners. And then, in less than 24 hours, nothing. You're back to being an ordinary citizen - granted, with not so ordinary bodyguards - with no agenda, no press conference, no briefings. Just your morning coffee and a newspaper and nothing but time in front of you. What would you do? Where would you start? Its like the old saying - Nowhere to go and all day to get there. And Mrs. Bush? If I were her I would have just rolled over for a while, happy to have my privacy back.
This time of year, as I face 60+ hour work weeks, I wonder why I still do this job year after year. After I play tennis for a couple of hours I wonder several things - first Why? and secondly Why didn't we have at least one kid so I wouldn't have to keep picking up the balls all over the court?
But, an inquisitive mind is a healthy mind. I heard that somewhere recently. Maybe my Harry Potter game? I'm too tired to remember for sure.
Took me back a number of years. Any time that it snowed and school was out both my parents were home. All it took was for the newscast to say "Don't get out on the roads unless you absolutely have to" and both my parents would immediately go get in the car and take off. One time they got as far as our neighborhood park (basically around the corner) and had to CRAWL back home on their hands and knees when the car got stuck and it was too slick to walk. I was a teenager at the time so I was old enough to be mortified. I will say that when I was very young - and not old enough to know better - we used to have a big time. We'd go up to the mall parking lot an do donuts in the snow. Only we called them cutting hookers. My parents were/are reasonably smart people but snow was the big weakness. Go figure.
I've also been wondering what George Bush did on the morning of January 21, 2009. I mean think about it - you've spent 8 years with a full staff catering to your every need, daily meetings on all kinds of world issues, phone calls with heads of state, fancy dinners. And then, in less than 24 hours, nothing. You're back to being an ordinary citizen - granted, with not so ordinary bodyguards - with no agenda, no press conference, no briefings. Just your morning coffee and a newspaper and nothing but time in front of you. What would you do? Where would you start? Its like the old saying - Nowhere to go and all day to get there. And Mrs. Bush? If I were her I would have just rolled over for a while, happy to have my privacy back.
This time of year, as I face 60+ hour work weeks, I wonder why I still do this job year after year. After I play tennis for a couple of hours I wonder several things - first Why? and secondly Why didn't we have at least one kid so I wouldn't have to keep picking up the balls all over the court?
But, an inquisitive mind is a healthy mind. I heard that somewhere recently. Maybe my Harry Potter game? I'm too tired to remember for sure.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Customer Service, or the Lack Thereof
Customer service is a dying art.
There's an entire generation of young people who have no idea what a full service gas station is. You remember those - someone else pumped your gas, washed your windshield and checked your oil while you stayed in the car. Now, we rarely even see a human at the gas station. We pay at the pump. But, if we do have to go into the station for some reason we're likely to be growled at or ignored or made to feel as if serving us - the customer - is an inconvenience.
Personally, we no longer frequent several stores in our town because of the lack of customer service. We drive to another town to shop or make multiple stops instead of going to the big discount store. And before you say another word, yes, management knows. My husband actually called the corporate headquarters and let them know what our issues were with our local store. The store manager called and told us our concerns would be addressed at the next staff meeting. That was over two years ago. Maybe they've changed but we just haven't gone back.
I did receive some excellent customer service over Christmas. In fairness, I will also let that store manager know about it. I have, unfortunately, lost the two employees' names that helped me. One gave us a discount on an item that had been returned - without us even asking - and the other directed me to another store that sold the power cord I was looking for. A lot of people, knowing they couldn't sell me anything, would have moved on to the next commission. I appreciated both their efforts to actually help me, not just sell me something.
You have to wonder what is going on. How did we get to this point? And where do we go from here? I think my husband hit on a key factor. People are no longer afraid of losing their jobs. They'll find some way to participate in the myriad social programs offered in the United States, or sue the company for wrongful termination. They'll flip the picture somehow to become a victim. In a very real sense they have nothing to lose and no incentive to do better.
This current trend knows no bounds. Not gender nor race nor age. It's sad, really. We work so hard to earn our money but get so little pleasure when we're trying to give it away. At some point the stores stopped working for the customers. We're just another face coming in to interrupt their day. I guess that's why I feel so compelled to let someone know when I do get good service. I want them to know that it is appreciated. Might stem the downward trend for a little while - at least for that person.
There's an entire generation of young people who have no idea what a full service gas station is. You remember those - someone else pumped your gas, washed your windshield and checked your oil while you stayed in the car. Now, we rarely even see a human at the gas station. We pay at the pump. But, if we do have to go into the station for some reason we're likely to be growled at or ignored or made to feel as if serving us - the customer - is an inconvenience.
Personally, we no longer frequent several stores in our town because of the lack of customer service. We drive to another town to shop or make multiple stops instead of going to the big discount store. And before you say another word, yes, management knows. My husband actually called the corporate headquarters and let them know what our issues were with our local store. The store manager called and told us our concerns would be addressed at the next staff meeting. That was over two years ago. Maybe they've changed but we just haven't gone back.
I did receive some excellent customer service over Christmas. In fairness, I will also let that store manager know about it. I have, unfortunately, lost the two employees' names that helped me. One gave us a discount on an item that had been returned - without us even asking - and the other directed me to another store that sold the power cord I was looking for. A lot of people, knowing they couldn't sell me anything, would have moved on to the next commission. I appreciated both their efforts to actually help me, not just sell me something.
You have to wonder what is going on. How did we get to this point? And where do we go from here? I think my husband hit on a key factor. People are no longer afraid of losing their jobs. They'll find some way to participate in the myriad social programs offered in the United States, or sue the company for wrongful termination. They'll flip the picture somehow to become a victim. In a very real sense they have nothing to lose and no incentive to do better.
This current trend knows no bounds. Not gender nor race nor age. It's sad, really. We work so hard to earn our money but get so little pleasure when we're trying to give it away. At some point the stores stopped working for the customers. We're just another face coming in to interrupt their day. I guess that's why I feel so compelled to let someone know when I do get good service. I want them to know that it is appreciated. Might stem the downward trend for a little while - at least for that person.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Whatever happened to manners?
I've been stewing on this one a couple of days. Who boos an outgoing President? One who kept the terrorists at bay for seven and a half years. How tasteless and tactless. I read Ann Coulter's column this morning and some of this echos her comments.
No one booed Jimmy Carter when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated. I don't have a vivid memory of his administration but I don't remember very many good things.
As much as I detest Bill Clinton, I nor anyone else booed when George W. Bush was inaugurated in his place. I was actually privately doing a dance of joy! I found him to be very embarrassing for this great country that we live in.
Irrespective of what side you voted for, President Barack Obama was duly elected and he will be our leader for the next four years. Get over it. We can all waste a lot of time being negative or we actually become a part of the solution. You know the saying - if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. The problem this country has faced for decades now is that we all refuse to get along. Yes I said refuse.
Cooperation and positiveness are choices we make. Make on a daily basis. If we continue to withhold support for our elected leaders, whether or not we agree with or supported them or even like the color of their suit, we are not going to make the progress that we need to make as a world power. I'll bet there are already plans in place to decide who the Republican candidate will be in four years.
I do not agree with most of President Obama's positions. I think closing Guantanamo Bay will come back to haunt us one day, and in a big way. I think pouring more and more money into a free market system may not be the best idea either. But I am willing to sit back and be proven wrong. I'm willing to not assume that I am definitively correct and he is unequivocally wrong.
I am willing to give the guy a chance and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, then put me on the nominations search committee for the Republican Party. I have a long list of names that I would love to see elected. And if there is a change in the administration four years from now, I may say I told you so, but I won't boo the Obamas on their way out. I was raised better than that.
No one booed Jimmy Carter when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated. I don't have a vivid memory of his administration but I don't remember very many good things.
As much as I detest Bill Clinton, I nor anyone else booed when George W. Bush was inaugurated in his place. I was actually privately doing a dance of joy! I found him to be very embarrassing for this great country that we live in.
Irrespective of what side you voted for, President Barack Obama was duly elected and he will be our leader for the next four years. Get over it. We can all waste a lot of time being negative or we actually become a part of the solution. You know the saying - if you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem. The problem this country has faced for decades now is that we all refuse to get along. Yes I said refuse.
Cooperation and positiveness are choices we make. Make on a daily basis. If we continue to withhold support for our elected leaders, whether or not we agree with or supported them or even like the color of their suit, we are not going to make the progress that we need to make as a world power. I'll bet there are already plans in place to decide who the Republican candidate will be in four years.
I do not agree with most of President Obama's positions. I think closing Guantanamo Bay will come back to haunt us one day, and in a big way. I think pouring more and more money into a free market system may not be the best idea either. But I am willing to sit back and be proven wrong. I'm willing to not assume that I am definitively correct and he is unequivocally wrong.
I am willing to give the guy a chance and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, then put me on the nominations search committee for the Republican Party. I have a long list of names that I would love to see elected. And if there is a change in the administration four years from now, I may say I told you so, but I won't boo the Obamas on their way out. I was raised better than that.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Back to Business
I will give the new President his day tomorrow. But on Wednesday I will start to expect results. I want the new Congress to work together - for a change. I want the Republicans to support President Obama - unlike the Democrats did for President Bush. I want my elected representatives to actually represent ME. (And don't think they don't know where I stand. I let them know. When the whole bailout package come up I sent strongly worded messages to all the Presidential candidates and my representatives. I'm happy to say my Senators rejected the initial package.)
In other words I would like government to work as it was intended. Making the best decisions for the majority of the people. Not acting like children who don't play well together. I think the term "maverick" was WAY over used in the last election but I agree with the overall notion. Vote your conscience not the party line. Do what you think is best, what you think is right - not what the Monday morning memo says you're supposed to do.
Apparently I also have a dream.
In other words I would like government to work as it was intended. Making the best decisions for the majority of the people. Not acting like children who don't play well together. I think the term "maverick" was WAY over used in the last election but I agree with the overall notion. Vote your conscience not the party line. Do what you think is best, what you think is right - not what the Monday morning memo says you're supposed to do.
Apparently I also have a dream.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Things I Don't Like
This post should probably come with warning but here goes.
Why is it if you tell someone that is a supporter of our President-Elect Obama that you are not a a supporter then you are somehow a racist? Why can't I just oppose him on principle - since his principles are basically where I differ? I didn't call people who supported Bill Clinton rednecks.
I try very hard to leave race out of conversations. I was reading a list of potential board members for a group I belong to and came across an unfamiliar name and asked who she was. I was told she was "dynamic black woman who...". I thought to myself, if someone asks about me am I described as a white woman? Probably not.
I was telling a story over the holidays and talking about someone and giving an accurate picture of this person and was interrupted for someone to say "she was a black lady who...". Completely unnecessary to story to give the skin color. It added nothing to what I was saying.
I would gladly support JC Watts of Oklahoma or Dr. Condolezza Rice for higher office. I have the utmost respect for their abilities and leadership. I might even break my own rule and put a sign in my yard if they were to run.
Its 2009. I just find it hard to believe that we all still have to put a color label on people. I'm not trying to belittle the sense of pride being felt throughout the black community. I get it. There are a lot of women that I think would make a wonderful President and I will burst with pride should any of them get elected. But just because I'm not busting at the seams over this President should not be misconstrued.
I'm a conservative, not a racist. There is a difference.
Why is it if you tell someone that is a supporter of our President-Elect Obama that you are not a a supporter then you are somehow a racist? Why can't I just oppose him on principle - since his principles are basically where I differ? I didn't call people who supported Bill Clinton rednecks.
I try very hard to leave race out of conversations. I was reading a list of potential board members for a group I belong to and came across an unfamiliar name and asked who she was. I was told she was "dynamic black woman who...". I thought to myself, if someone asks about me am I described as a
I was telling a story over the holidays and talking about someone and giving an accurate picture of this person and was interrupted for someone to say "she was a black lady who...". Completely unnecessary to story to give the skin color. It added nothing to what I was saying.
I would gladly support JC Watts of Oklahoma or Dr. Condolezza Rice for higher office. I have the utmost respect for their abilities and leadership. I might even break my own rule and put a sign in my yard if they were to run.
Its 2009. I just find it hard to believe that we all still have to put a color label on people. I'm not trying to belittle the sense of pride being felt throughout the black community. I get it. There are a lot of women that I think would make a wonderful President and I will burst with pride should any of them get elected. But just because I'm not busting at the seams over this President should not be misconstrued.
I'm a conservative, not a racist. There is a difference.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Changing a lifestyle, changing lives
In January 2007 I did a fairly simple thing. We have a community event called HealthQuest each January and I decided to go in 2007. Primarily because for $15 you got your blood work done at the beginning and end of the three month event - tested your glucose, cholesterol, triglycerides. Can't get that at the doctor's office! So I paid my money and took my place in line. Step one, blood pressure. Step two, weight and BMI (note the blood pressure reading is taken BEFORE the weight). Step three, draw blood. Step one, no problem. I'm so far below average that I'm often mistaken for dead. Step two - huge problem.
I was suddenly faced with the fact that having a positive body image is not always a good thing. I absolutely could not believe the number on the scale looking up at me. Now mind you we were using the scales from the local Weight Watchers chapter so these were the real thing. No arguing with them. I walked around in shock for quite a while after that. I had no idea I weighed that much.
I could give a lot of history and reasons as to how I got to that point. But the reality of it all comes back to lifestyle choices. In college I exercised an hour and a half 5 or 6 days a week. Walked around campus and on daily errands so I wouldn't lose my parking spot at the dorm. And I didn't eat great but it wasn't that bad either. Lifestyle choices. All that changed after I graduated and started working in the real world. Then I got married. And I ignored a previously diagnosed insulin condition that eventually got completely out of hand. (Moral of that story - if you decide to get a second medical opinion about a health issue and that opinion is vastly different from the first then go get a third to break the impasse. A very naive 20 year old took the advice that she liked best and was easier and not necessarily the best).
On that day in January 2007 I started changing my lifestyle choices. Part of HealthQuest was weekly meetings where you would learn new exercises or hear dietitians speak or something health-related. Nothing they said was new stuff but I heard it with different ears. I started walking. I ate my meals on a salad plate. I started keeping food logs. At the end of the three months I had lost 12 pounds. I managed to lose another 4 unaided by year's end.
Then I signed up again last year. The program changed some and I couldn't attend the meetings but I did make the Monday morning weigh-ins. It reinvigorated my efforts. I dropped another 30 pounds last year. On my own.
Foolishly I thought I could do this without anyone noticing. Don't know what I was thinking. I'm only 5'1" so gaining and losing 1 or 2 pounds shows. 50 has made me unrecognizable to some people that I don't see often. And I'm very uncomfortable with that aspect. I did not want to draw any attention to myself (save that for the stage) and I really don't like to talk about it. I did it for my health not my appearance. Of all the people that have noticed and commented on the weight loss only 3 have asked if I was sick or lost the weight intentionally before telling me that it looks good.
But I've learned that the comments (compliments) go with the territory. The real plus to those conversations is how many people have started making their own changes. Sort of "if she can do it I can do it" thing. I've been called an inspiration by some. I am directly or indirectly responsible for the increase in Wii sales in this area. (I added a Wii to my exercise for the summer since it is too hot and sticky around here to continue walking to work. Word got out and at least 6 or 7 people I know now have Wiis and use them for exercise.) Hello Nintendo!! A Christmas card would have been nice.
Now there is a little pressure with this. I can't backslide (not that I want to) because I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself, or disappoint. A little pressure is a good thing. I still have about 10 pounds to go. And yes those last stubborn 10 pounds have been the hardest! I know I'll make it. I don't push too hard. I enjoyed the holidays and didn't worry too much. I don't want to go back to where I was but I'm not uncomfortable with where I am now. The most important thing - I did it for me. For my health. For my future. Had nothing to do with how I looked. I thought I looked pretty good. And the person inside the shell is the same at 108 or 180. And if I can help someone else make the same changes for the same right reasons then I'm happy to do so.
Makes you stop and think how many people you might influence in your life. Especially all those that you never know about. You never know who all is watching how you live your life. Talk about pressure.
I was suddenly faced with the fact that having a positive body image is not always a good thing. I absolutely could not believe the number on the scale looking up at me. Now mind you we were using the scales from the local Weight Watchers chapter so these were the real thing. No arguing with them. I walked around in shock for quite a while after that. I had no idea I weighed that much.
I could give a lot of history and reasons as to how I got to that point. But the reality of it all comes back to lifestyle choices. In college I exercised an hour and a half 5 or 6 days a week. Walked around campus and on daily errands so I wouldn't lose my parking spot at the dorm. And I didn't eat great but it wasn't that bad either. Lifestyle choices. All that changed after I graduated and started working in the real world. Then I got married. And I ignored a previously diagnosed insulin condition that eventually got completely out of hand. (Moral of that story - if you decide to get a second medical opinion about a health issue and that opinion is vastly different from the first then go get a third to break the impasse. A very naive 20 year old took the advice that she liked best and was easier and not necessarily the best).
On that day in January 2007 I started changing my lifestyle choices. Part of HealthQuest was weekly meetings where you would learn new exercises or hear dietitians speak or something health-related. Nothing they said was new stuff but I heard it with different ears. I started walking. I ate my meals on a salad plate. I started keeping food logs. At the end of the three months I had lost 12 pounds. I managed to lose another 4 unaided by year's end.
Then I signed up again last year. The program changed some and I couldn't attend the meetings but I did make the Monday morning weigh-ins. It reinvigorated my efforts. I dropped another 30 pounds last year. On my own.
Foolishly I thought I could do this without anyone noticing. Don't know what I was thinking. I'm only 5'1" so gaining and losing 1 or 2 pounds shows. 50 has made me unrecognizable to some people that I don't see often. And I'm very uncomfortable with that aspect. I did not want to draw any attention to myself (save that for the stage) and I really don't like to talk about it. I did it for my health not my appearance. Of all the people that have noticed and commented on the weight loss only 3 have asked if I was sick or lost the weight intentionally before telling me that it looks good.
But I've learned that the comments (compliments) go with the territory. The real plus to those conversations is how many people have started making their own changes. Sort of "if she can do it I can do it" thing. I've been called an inspiration by some. I am directly or indirectly responsible for the increase in Wii sales in this area. (I added a Wii to my exercise for the summer since it is too hot and sticky around here to continue walking to work. Word got out and at least 6 or 7 people I know now have Wiis and use them for exercise.) Hello Nintendo!! A Christmas card would have been nice.
Now there is a little pressure with this. I can't backslide (not that I want to) because I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself, or disappoint. A little pressure is a good thing. I still have about 10 pounds to go. And yes those last stubborn 10 pounds have been the hardest! I know I'll make it. I don't push too hard. I enjoyed the holidays and didn't worry too much. I don't want to go back to where I was but I'm not uncomfortable with where I am now. The most important thing - I did it for me. For my health. For my future. Had nothing to do with how I looked. I thought I looked pretty good. And the person inside the shell is the same at 108 or 180. And if I can help someone else make the same changes for the same right reasons then I'm happy to do so.
Makes you stop and think how many people you might influence in your life. Especially all those that you never know about. You never know who all is watching how you live your life. Talk about pressure.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
My Season
Today sort of starts "my season". What season is that you ask? College football ended last week. The NFL and college basketball have been going on since last fall. No one cares about the NBA. Major league baseball, tennis and even NASCAR are imminent, but haven't started yet.
Awards season. I LOVE the award shows! I will camp out in front of the television at the start of the red carpet arrival shows, even though no one has arrived yet, and watch until the credits roll after the last award is handed out.
In general, I love the arts. Theatre, movies, music, you name it. I love to watch, I love to participate and I love to create. And I get a real kick out of celebrity watching. I think it is, on some level, because they get to earn a living doing what they love and what I wish I could do. I have no desire to be photographed from every angle or my every breath recorded in a magazine. I do not in the least envy their lifestyle, but I do their livelihood. When I'm in a theatre production it is such a rush to go on stage. In my first real role I entered the stage as the curtain opened. Alone on stage. I think the director was very nervous that this novice was going to freeze up and checked with me several times to make sure I was "OK". Never better. I grabbed my tray (I was cast as Della the maid in "Royal Family") and walked out when the phone started ringing and hit my cue. I've loved it ever since.
I have no grand illusions that I'm good at it. But, I don't think I'm too terrible and community theatre is supposed to be about having fun. I've always enjoyed performing. We (my sister, or friends or other relatives and I) would put on shows when I was growing up. One side of my family went caroling on Christmas Eve in my grandparents' neighborhood. Even marching in the band in high school was a kick. I didn't mind the practicing, still don't mind rehearsals, and hearing the crowd cheer or the audience applaud just fills me with pride.
And I have learned that I have not been alone in these pursuits. I have an aunt that acted in theatre productions in college and I have a cousin that sings country music in Nashville. There may be others, I'm just not aware of them yet.
So, today begins my season. As with any other major event (Super Bowl, Daytona 500, World Series, any tennis grand slam event), unless someone is bleeding or dying, its best not to call me after 3 today. I will not be checking emails or text messages. I will not be in.
Awards season. I LOVE the award shows! I will camp out in front of the television at the start of the red carpet arrival shows, even though no one has arrived yet, and watch until the credits roll after the last award is handed out.
In general, I love the arts. Theatre, movies, music, you name it. I love to watch, I love to participate and I love to create. And I get a real kick out of celebrity watching. I think it is, on some level, because they get to earn a living doing what they love and what I wish I could do. I have no desire to be photographed from every angle or my every breath recorded in a magazine. I do not in the least envy their lifestyle, but I do their livelihood. When I'm in a theatre production it is such a rush to go on stage. In my first real role I entered the stage as the curtain opened. Alone on stage. I think the director was very nervous that this novice was going to freeze up and checked with me several times to make sure I was "OK". Never better. I grabbed my tray (I was cast as Della the maid in "Royal Family") and walked out when the phone started ringing and hit my cue. I've loved it ever since.
I have no grand illusions that I'm good at it. But, I don't think I'm too terrible and community theatre is supposed to be about having fun. I've always enjoyed performing. We (my sister, or friends or other relatives and I) would put on shows when I was growing up. One side of my family went caroling on Christmas Eve in my grandparents' neighborhood. Even marching in the band in high school was a kick. I didn't mind the practicing, still don't mind rehearsals, and hearing the crowd cheer or the audience applaud just fills me with pride.
And I have learned that I have not been alone in these pursuits. I have an aunt that acted in theatre productions in college and I have a cousin that sings country music in Nashville. There may be others, I'm just not aware of them yet.
So, today begins my season. As with any other major event (Super Bowl, Daytona 500, World Series, any tennis grand slam event), unless someone is bleeding or dying, its best not to call me after 3 today. I will not be checking emails or text messages. I will not be in.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Guardian Angels
I believe in spirits. I have seen them. I have smelled them. I have felt them. And I actually take great comfort in knowing they are there.
I realize that a lot of people don't believe, for religious reasons or just as a skeptic, but I think that believing in spirits is just an extension of believing in life after death. What is the point of believing that we'll go to Heaven some day if all we're going to do is sit around? There's work to be done! Yes, I believe that God is omnipotent and could do all the work himself, but why should He? Why not put all those spirits to work?
I had the privilege one time to wake up one morning only to see my grandfather and cousin standing at the foot of the bed. Just as solid and real as if they were actually there. This was 1995 and my cousin had died in 1987 and my grandfather the year before. About the time it hit me what I was seeing they disappeared and a very cold breeze blew over me. I'm not sure why they were there, but I know they were. I had other experiences in junior high and high school with situations that couldn't be explained any way other than having a guardian angel.
My dad and I were very close. I had the honor, thanks to my aunt's request/suggestion, to speak at my daddy's funeral. One of the absolute toughest but most rewarding things I have ever done. As I finished I gathered my papers and headed back to my seat. In my ear, just as plain as day was Daddy's voice. "Way to go Bud".
Less than two years later I credit him with helping me in a car accident. I am very aware of how this will sound. I was driving to work one morning, fairly quickly down the interstate. Another car decided it wanted to be in my lane right where I happened to be. I pulled to the left and ended up hitting a construction retaining wall (I do blame all the salt and sand and ice that line the interstate in Kansas City in February). The car started spinning down the interstate. I had something of an out-of-body experience at that point and from outside the car I could see a huge hand reach down and keep turning the car but it turned while staying in the same lane. I didn't go all over the road. I didn't hit anyone else. I hit the retaining wall several times - the only part of the car that didn't get replaced were the two doors. And I walked away. And without thinking I said "Thank you, Daddy". I just knew.
I guess I just take comfort in knowing that the people I love and helped take care of me while I was growing up are still doing just that - looking out for me an helping me. And, bizarrely I know, I'm actually looking forward to doing the same thing some day (a VERY long time from now I hope!). Helping to look after grand and great-grand nieces and nephews. Watching over the family from a different angle. Being a guardian angel.
In the meantime I'll try not to give my guardian angel too much of a workout.
I realize that a lot of people don't believe, for religious reasons or just as a skeptic, but I think that believing in spirits is just an extension of believing in life after death. What is the point of believing that we'll go to Heaven some day if all we're going to do is sit around? There's work to be done! Yes, I believe that God is omnipotent and could do all the work himself, but why should He? Why not put all those spirits to work?
I had the privilege one time to wake up one morning only to see my grandfather and cousin standing at the foot of the bed. Just as solid and real as if they were actually there. This was 1995 and my cousin had died in 1987 and my grandfather the year before. About the time it hit me what I was seeing they disappeared and a very cold breeze blew over me. I'm not sure why they were there, but I know they were. I had other experiences in junior high and high school with situations that couldn't be explained any way other than having a guardian angel.
My dad and I were very close. I had the honor, thanks to my aunt's request/suggestion, to speak at my daddy's funeral. One of the absolute toughest but most rewarding things I have ever done. As I finished I gathered my papers and headed back to my seat. In my ear, just as plain as day was Daddy's voice. "Way to go Bud".
Less than two years later I credit him with helping me in a car accident. I am very aware of how this will sound. I was driving to work one morning, fairly quickly down the interstate. Another car decided it wanted to be in my lane right where I happened to be. I pulled to the left and ended up hitting a construction retaining wall (I do blame all the salt and sand and ice that line the interstate in Kansas City in February). The car started spinning down the interstate. I had something of an out-of-body experience at that point and from outside the car I could see a huge hand reach down and keep turning the car but it turned while staying in the same lane. I didn't go all over the road. I didn't hit anyone else. I hit the retaining wall several times - the only part of the car that didn't get replaced were the two doors. And I walked away. And without thinking I said "Thank you, Daddy". I just knew.
I guess I just take comfort in knowing that the people I love and helped take care of me while I was growing up are still doing just that - looking out for me an helping me. And, bizarrely I know, I'm actually looking forward to doing the same thing some day (a VERY long time from now I hope!). Helping to look after grand and great-grand nieces and nephews. Watching over the family from a different angle. Being a guardian angel.
In the meantime I'll try not to give my guardian angel too much of a workout.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Puppy Love
We never intended to have a family of 7. I'm not entirely sure that we ever thought past the first one! And while I'm not embarrassed to have such a large family I don't always share the information voluntarily. People will make the rudest comments or give you the strangest looks! As if it is any of their business. I get similar looks and comments when people find out that I don't have any traditional children. One husband, married almost 20 years, no kids. No, I will not change my mind someday. No I don't want to borrow one to see what I'm missing. It is no one's business why my husband chose this lifestyle but some people still feel free to ask the questions or provide an opinion. Believe me, the ship has sailed on the childbearing.
Anyway, as I sit here looking at all 7 quietly sleeping I can tell you that I wouldn't trade one minute of it. And I'd defy anyone who doesn't think I'm their "momma". They certainly think so. Like many children, Sadie wants a hug when she gets up in the morning. At 4:45 this morning I rolled over to see her little face squished up between the bed and my night stand. Tail just a wagging! What better way to start the day! I had another one, Frankie, pressed up against my back - an excellent snuggle buddy. I have two "feet warmers" that take turns during the night. And I get met at the door every day with a tangle of bodies, big an small, trying to get to me and lick my face. No more troubles after that.
All of us were given different talents. Not everyone was meant to be a mom or a dad. Some of us are pretty terrific aunts. The challenge is to find what you do well, and then do it. And do it as well as you possibly can. Go big or go home! My dad always said that's why they made chocolate and vanilla - something for everyone.
For us, there is a big soft spot for puppy dogs. They find us more than we go looking for them. But I think we do it well. We have 7 fairly well-adjusted animals that love us more than life itself. Unconditional love. We deal with the up-all-nights when we're house training or one is sick. We deal with doctors and medications and all that. We just don't have to buy $100 tennis shoes or fund a college education. It works for us.
I just sometimes wish people would exercise the "unconditional" part.
Anyway, as I sit here looking at all 7 quietly sleeping I can tell you that I wouldn't trade one minute of it. And I'd defy anyone who doesn't think I'm their "momma". They certainly think so. Like many children, Sadie wants a hug when she gets up in the morning. At 4:45 this morning I rolled over to see her little face squished up between the bed and my night stand. Tail just a wagging! What better way to start the day! I had another one, Frankie, pressed up against my back - an excellent snuggle buddy. I have two "feet warmers" that take turns during the night. And I get met at the door every day with a tangle of bodies, big an small, trying to get to me and lick my face. No more troubles after that.
All of us were given different talents. Not everyone was meant to be a mom or a dad. Some of us are pretty terrific aunts. The challenge is to find what you do well, and then do it. And do it as well as you possibly can. Go big or go home! My dad always said that's why they made chocolate and vanilla - something for everyone.
For us, there is a big soft spot for puppy dogs. They find us more than we go looking for them. But I think we do it well. We have 7 fairly well-adjusted animals that love us more than life itself. Unconditional love. We deal with the up-all-nights when we're house training or one is sick. We deal with doctors and medications and all that. We just don't have to buy $100 tennis shoes or fund a college education. It works for us.
I just sometimes wish people would exercise the "unconditional" part.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Christmas on the Inside
My husband made sure I noticed earlier today that he had started gathering up some of the Christmas decorations and placing them by the "Christmas closet". He wasn't boxing them up, just getting them to the right place. I let him know that his efforts had not gone unnoticed. And then I asked why. His response - Christmas is over.
But does it have to be? I asked why it couldn't still be Christmas on the inside. I did finally relent and started pulling in the outside garlands and bows. The tree and presents that sit on the front porch. All but the reindeer ears on one of the "sculptures" that sits by the door. They are all tangled up and I'm not sure how to get them off. Then I came back inside and announced there was no move evidence of Christmas on the outside.
But it is still Christmas on the inside. The tree is still up, the table still decorated. More importantly, it is Christmas inside ME. I want to try and keep that feeling a little longer. People really are nicer to each other during December. They hold open doors when your arms are full. Some might even let you take the closer parking slot in the lot if they really have the spirit!
Why don't we keep Christmas inside? How hard is it really? To treat our fellow man with respect; to be kind and helpful? Why do we wait until a designated date to give gifts to those we love, or just those we want to let know we care? (For the record, my husband and I never exchange gifts on designated dates - birthdays, Valentine's, anniversary, Christmas - we do give gifts when we find something the other one would want or need or appreciate - all year long). Why don't we remain Christ-like in mid-March, or late August, or the day after Thanksgiving? If you've ever gone out shopping on Black Friday you know Jesus is not on people's minds. Why not leave the Nativity scene out year round as a reminder?
Maybe the world, or at least our immediate environment, might be just a little nicer, more pleasant place to be. And it can start with us. Someone has to take the first step, be a leader. Try it.
But does it have to be? I asked why it couldn't still be Christmas on the inside. I did finally relent and started pulling in the outside garlands and bows. The tree and presents that sit on the front porch. All but the reindeer ears on one of the "sculptures" that sits by the door. They are all tangled up and I'm not sure how to get them off. Then I came back inside and announced there was no move evidence of Christmas on the outside.
But it is still Christmas on the inside. The tree is still up, the table still decorated. More importantly, it is Christmas inside ME. I want to try and keep that feeling a little longer. People really are nicer to each other during December. They hold open doors when your arms are full. Some might even let you take the closer parking slot in the lot if they really have the spirit!
Why don't we keep Christmas inside? How hard is it really? To treat our fellow man with respect; to be kind and helpful? Why do we wait until a designated date to give gifts to those we love, or just those we want to let know we care? (For the record, my husband and I never exchange gifts on designated dates - birthdays, Valentine's, anniversary, Christmas - we do give gifts when we find something the other one would want or need or appreciate - all year long). Why don't we remain Christ-like in mid-March, or late August, or the day after Thanksgiving? If you've ever gone out shopping on Black Friday you know Jesus is not on people's minds. Why not leave the Nativity scene out year round as a reminder?
Maybe the world, or at least our immediate environment, might be just a little nicer, more pleasant place to be. And it can start with us. Someone has to take the first step, be a leader. Try it.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Year, Old Thoughts
I keep a journal. I have since I was about 6 or 7, which was a very long time ago. I no longer write every day. Some nights I fall asleep before I hit the bed, but I do try to chronicle the big events or big emotions in my world, or the world in general.
I always write on New Year's Eve. I reflect on the year just passed. I also set my goals for the new year. Never resolutions - only goals. You can always be working towards a goal where a resolution can be broken immediately. Once broken, few ever look back and start over.
This past year had its share of ups and downs. I lost family members. I watched a friend bury her 21 year old son. I experienced another friend's joy when her daughter and son-in-law were finally able to adopt a child. I saw other family members deteriorate physically and mentally and still others step up to the plate. My family (both sides) added members. I'd call them new babies but my dad always pointed out that "new" is the only way that babies come so it is somewhat redundant. Daddy was a wise old soul in that sense.
This country made history last year in the presidental election. History was going to be made no matter what - either the first black president or first female vice president. Whether or not you agreed with the outcome, it was history in the making and we were all part of it. I thought at the time about my almost 95 year old grandmother. No women or black citizens could even vote when she was born. Think about all the changes she's lived through. And they are good changes. This country is finally approaching, in my opinion, what was intended from the start. Anyone can be nominated for any office in this nation and everyone gets the right to vote. All should have an equal voice in how this country is run. One voice, one vote.
The economy has been better. But it has also been worse. And the people survived when times were hard. And we'll all survive again and come out better on the other side. Sometimes I think we need these reminders of how good we actually have things. Lots of countries haven't even blinked at paying $4 a gallon for gas, and have seen that for years. It pops up on our gas pumps and everyone freaks out. Of course now that it is down to just over a $1 people are still freaking out. We're never happy I guess.
So, 2008 was the best of times and it was the worst of times. As were most of the years before it and as will be the ones to come. The question is always what we do with what we're handed. Make the most of the time you have. Hug your kids (or your pets), love and support your spouse. Treat your parents with respect - even if you don't always think they deserve it. They've been here longer, lived through and seen more than you have. Be kind to the people you run across each day. You have no way of knowing what kind of day they're having and a smile and kind word may be all they need to get through it. Maybe someone will do the same for you when you're having a bad day. Improve yourself. Learn to relax. Do what you need to do to be a better you.
My goals - learn Italian so my husband and I can go there for our 20th anniversary; attend my 25th high school reunion this summer and reconnect with old friends; call my grandmother more often while I still can. Be the best wife, daughter and sister I can be - a challenge while also being the best employee I can be. Try to find that right balance to keep everyone in my universe, including myself, happy.
Happy 2009. I hope it is a wonderful year for you.
I always write on New Year's Eve. I reflect on the year just passed. I also set my goals for the new year. Never resolutions - only goals. You can always be working towards a goal where a resolution can be broken immediately. Once broken, few ever look back and start over.
This past year had its share of ups and downs. I lost family members. I watched a friend bury her 21 year old son. I experienced another friend's joy when her daughter and son-in-law were finally able to adopt a child. I saw other family members deteriorate physically and mentally and still others step up to the plate. My family (both sides) added members. I'd call them new babies but my dad always pointed out that "new" is the only way that babies come so it is somewhat redundant. Daddy was a wise old soul in that sense.
This country made history last year in the presidental election. History was going to be made no matter what - either the first black president or first female vice president. Whether or not you agreed with the outcome, it was history in the making and we were all part of it. I thought at the time about my almost 95 year old grandmother. No women or black citizens could even vote when she was born. Think about all the changes she's lived through. And they are good changes. This country is finally approaching, in my opinion, what was intended from the start. Anyone can be nominated for any office in this nation and everyone gets the right to vote. All should have an equal voice in how this country is run. One voice, one vote.
The economy has been better. But it has also been worse. And the people survived when times were hard. And we'll all survive again and come out better on the other side. Sometimes I think we need these reminders of how good we actually have things. Lots of countries haven't even blinked at paying $4 a gallon for gas, and have seen that for years. It pops up on our gas pumps and everyone freaks out. Of course now that it is down to just over a $1 people are still freaking out. We're never happy I guess.
So, 2008 was the best of times and it was the worst of times. As were most of the years before it and as will be the ones to come. The question is always what we do with what we're handed. Make the most of the time you have. Hug your kids (or your pets), love and support your spouse. Treat your parents with respect - even if you don't always think they deserve it. They've been here longer, lived through and seen more than you have. Be kind to the people you run across each day. You have no way of knowing what kind of day they're having and a smile and kind word may be all they need to get through it. Maybe someone will do the same for you when you're having a bad day. Improve yourself. Learn to relax. Do what you need to do to be a better you.
My goals - learn Italian so my husband and I can go there for our 20th anniversary; attend my 25th high school reunion this summer and reconnect with old friends; call my grandmother more often while I still can. Be the best wife, daughter and sister I can be - a challenge while also being the best employee I can be. Try to find that right balance to keep everyone in my universe, including myself, happy.
Happy 2009. I hope it is a wonderful year for you.
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