Faith

There's a lot of stuff I keep to myself. I'm sure you find that hard to believe, but it's true. I've always said that I try to do things because it is the right thing to do, not so that others will notice. But to tell this story, I have to tell you a couple of things that I wouldn't otherwise. Please excuse them.

Billy and I have our favorite causes that we support monetarily. It will come as no surprise to anyone that they are primarily based around the care and support of animals. This world is full of causes, most of them honest and worthy, but it seems like with animals the choices are always one of two - a "regular" shelter or a no-kill shelter. Obviously we prefer one over the other, but we support both. We want to give every animal possible a fighting chance. It has always just broken our hearts that these sweet little animals that want nothing but love and companionship so often end up at a shelter, and worse, because of the thoughtless, inhumane acts of human beings. We're just trying to help those who can't help themselves.

That isn't to say that we don't help human causes as well. We do. But more of that is with time than money. It has just always seemed to us that there are plenty of organizations that help men, women and especially children, who, like the animals, are also innocent victims of the poor decisions of the adults around them, that we could divert our funds elsewhere.

This is a time that we didn't.

We live two blocks from the residential shelter for abused children. (We also happen to live two blocks from the abused women's shelter. But that isn't really relevant to this.) I'm also friends with the director of the children's shelter, she and her sister, so it wasn't a surprise when I received a Facebook invite to a "Going to College" shower. I read the invite, thought "oh how nice" and responded as I do to anything I get on Facebook with a "maybe". See, it was on Thursday afternoon from 4-6. I already had our Kiwanis Club quarterly social on Thursday from 5 to about 6:30, bunco from 6 to 8:30, and a church meeting from 6:30 to 8. As all my Thursdays are, I was booked. (One of these days I will point out to all these organizations that there are actually 7 days in a week they could choose from!) I actually didn't give the shower much more thought. I was out of town last weekend and then working all week so it kind of slipped.

Until I checked my Facebook page Thursday morning.

The event was on my wall as a reminder. I reread the blurb about the young lady for whom the shower was being given. She was a resident and had been accepted to a pre-pharmacy program at a college on the Coast. I thought about it a minute or two, realized that Billy and I had purchased some gift cards the week before and still had one and I thought I could stick that in a card and drop it off at lunch.

Seemed simple enough. Asked Billy if he cared if I gave away the gift card. In his true fashion, he responded, "well, I'm usually more all about the animals, but this seems goods too."

Conscience assuaged, I left for work.

But I'm still thinking. It's a problem I have. Kiwanis Club - whose mission is to change the lives of others one community and one CHILD at a time. I'm thinking here is a good opportunity to help the life of one child so I emailed the president to see what he thought. Great idea, he said. Run to Wal-Mart and get a $100 gift card from the Club.

Done.

I signed the card for the whole Club since we weren't having our regular lunch meeting that Thursday and the shower was only a few hours away.

That's when I decided to actually attend the shower. It was no longer just a little $30 card from us, I was also representing a larger organization.

What a wonderful decision I made.

Let me tell you about "Faith", the young lady I met. (Obviously Faith is not her real name, but its close.)

First of all, the shelter was all decorated and food spread out on the table. Dips, burgers, cookies, the works! And a lovely young lady was sitting at one end of the room, surrounded with gifts of sheets, towels, and all manner of other things a new college student needs for her dorm room. I gave her the cards and she opened them and her face truly lit up. "This is so nice!" she exclaimed. And it was genuine. You could see it all over her face.

Then the director pulled me and another lady aside and told us Faith's story and why she was so special. She wasn't the first the resident to go to college. There had been football players and other young people go on. But none quite like this.

Faith had suffered all manners of abuse from almost birth. Her drug abuser biological mother had her parental rights terminated after her boyfriend repeated sexually abused and raped Faith as a toddler. Yes, you read that correctly. She was a TODDLER. Preschool.

Faith was placed into the State foster system and ultimately adopted. Before the ink was dry on the adoption papers her new "mom" started beating her. And continued to do so until Faith was old enough to start hitting back at around age 14.

Sounds like a failure in the system to me.

Faith is back in that system, though. In and out of shelters and foster homes and even mental institutions. She was exhibiting some of the worst possible behaviors - trying to strangle a roommate and burn down one of the shelters. Was ultimately diagnosed as bipolar but still, she had quite the records of issues following her when she landed in Natchez.

To our shelter's extreme credit, they view every child that comes through its doors as a fresh face. They are aware of the child's past but it gets left on the front porch and they are only judged by what goes on under their roof. The past is simply that, the past. Not to be confused with the present or future.

Faith starts to blossom in this environment. She commented to the director one day that they must not have known all about her and what all she'd done before. Her response to the director correcting that notion was a disbelieving "And you took me anyway?"

Yes.

Faith later commented that this was the first place that had seen her as person and not only as a behavior.

The inappropriate behaviors stopped and she started truly functioning like a real teenage girl. Not only going to school but passing and doing well enough to graduate. And graduate well enough to be accepted to a pre-pharmacy program.

THAT was why we were having a shower for her. Her personal accomplishments were what made her special. Virtually anyone would have "understood" if she had become just another victim of society and the system. Happens every single day. But SHE wasn't going to settle for that. Neither were those around her. I've seen that shelter and those women are incredible. I could not do what they do. Simply couldn't. But they gave her the space and support she needed to grow and flourish and not be satisfied to be a victim. She's going to make something of her life.

The second part of the story is one I'm still mulling over. You see, it hit her the other day that she was going to be 18 soon and would no longer be in the custody of the Mississippi Department of Human Services. She would be on her own in every sense of the word since she had no family and no home. And she was scared. What would she do in college over holiday breaks? She had no place to go.

As I said, the women at the shelter are incredible ladies and they aren't leaving Faith out in the world alone. She has a home in Natchez, probably staying with the director or other friends here in town.

Faith is going to make it. I can feel it. I hope I can find a way to help her. Maybe as a mentor or something. I have a cousin in pharmacy school in Arkansas - maybe I can do something there. I don't know.

All I do know is that I was blessed that day to get to meet her and I will continue to keep up with her. I'm very glad I left work 30 minutes early to drop off those cards in person. And when I left I congratulated her again on her accomplishments and she said "Thank you so much for coming", and she meant it.

There are a lot of Faiths in the world. The children that get overlooked or lost in the system. Sometimes they honestly don't need a whole lot. A stable environment, support, understanding, and the right amount of pushing in the right direction. They don't need their bad behavior "excused" but they don't need it lorded over them either. They need to be made to feel like they are contributing members of society and will be expected to contribute. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to have a little "Faith" in them.

They are only victims if they choose to be. They can be survivors.

And they are most definitely teachers. Teaching all us what it means to look adversity in the eye and not blink. Showing us what it means to truly live a life.

Good luck Faith! As I told my nephew on his graduation last week: May your path be straight and your steps sure. May you keep your eyes on the horizon, always looking for the next thing.

And thanks Matilda and all the ladies at the shelter. You took coal and made a diamond, as you always do.