Into all lives there enters a bully. Some sneak in, some come crashing through the door. But everyone faces one at some point. The question is, how do you handle it?
We've all watched the news in horror as stories unfold about young adults shooting up schools or taking their own lives as a result of being bullied. That seems to be the answer that keeps popping to the unanswerable question of Why? Seemingly normal, ordinary kids (my dad hated to have young people called kids - said that term was reserved for baby goats) go off the deep end and do the unthinkable. Makes you wonder about a lot of things. First and foremost, where are the coping skills and who was supposed to be teaching and reinforcing them?
An unfortunate event has arisen in a group I'm associated with. Tempers have flaired, bad behavior has been exhibited. Several people have expressed a desire, (or need, complusion) to just leave the group. The tension has become so intolerable and the atmosphere so uncomfortable that they just want out. I've been one of them. But then I thought about it. If one person is causing the issue that makes everyone else uncomfortable, what message are we sending? That its okay to bully the group to get what you want and if you do it long enough you'll wear everyone else down and your opposition will just go away?
I don't think that's the right message. The bully can't win. When young people ruin or end their lives because they couldn't stand up to bully, the bully has won. And unless he (or she) was taken out as well, they will most likely continue to do it. When adults turn their backs on good organizations rather than try to force the necessary changes on it, the bully has won.
The bully can't win.
You're right. We can't let the bully win. As far as a bully in an organization, sometimes we have to pick our battles. We have to make a judgment call on whether this is something we can take on right now. I know that sounds like an excuse, but it's reality.
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