The View From Here

I had the great pleasure to spend this past weekend with my mother, sister and niece.

Girl time.

As I told my grandmother when we went to visit her, No Stinky Boys!

We had a family wedding to attend so we were fairly busy but enjoyed a few stolen moments together. Something we don't get to do often enough. Distance and schedules make it a challenge. But we had good talks during those times, laughed a lot, and truly enjoyed each other company. Andrea and I were pretty typical sisters growing up. Which is to say we didn't always get along well. I'm very glad to say that I now not only have a real sister but a real friend as well.

One interesting moment came in the car on the way to see Naunie. I was going to head back to Natchez from Carlisle so I took my own car. Andrea and Brett rode with me and we followed Mom. In a role reversal, Andrea sat in the back. Texting and talking on her phone. Brett sat up in the passenger seat so we could talk.

Out of the blue she asked me to give her a "superdeduperty" long word. She would then tell me what it meant and use it in a sentence.

Her idea people, not mine.

(I love that she loves to learn! She gets excited about school and education and all of that. Our trip next month to Washington D.C. is going to be amazing!)

Now, I don't carry around a book of "superdeduperty" long words so I thought quickly and came up with "perspective".

Webster has several definitions: 1. particular evaluation of something: a particular evaluation of a situation or facts, especially from one person's point of view;

2. measured assessment of situation: a measured or objective assessment of a situation, giving all aspects their comparative importance;

3. appearance of distant objects to observer: the appearance of objects to an observer allowing for the effect of their distance from the observer;

4. graphic arts allowance for artistic perspective when drawing: the theory or practice of allowing for artistic perspective when drawing or painting;

5. vista: a vista or view

Brett defined it as someone's side of a story, or opinion. I agreed but explained that it was more than that. I said it was more a "point of view" and that it could be a literal or figurative point of view. We got into discussing artists and how they use perspective in their work and so on.

Nice conversation.

I've thought about it several times since then.

Mostly how two people can look at the same thing but see something different.

Based on their "perspective".

I posted some pictures from the wedding on Facebook. Andrea texted me she thought she looked weird. I thought she looked beautiful. I pointed out something on me that I see automatically in every picture I ever take. She said she'd never noticed it before. (Of course, now she'll ALWAYS notice it since I pointed it out!)

Two people, one picture, different perspectives.

Later, again on Facebook, I saw lots of people thinking of their fathers that had passed away (Father's Day posts). More than one had pictures of their dad's grave marker.

One person commented that even with all his faults, her dad was still her hero. But I couldn't help but wonder (having known several of the men in question) if the writers' moms (be they ex-wives or widows) would feel the same. A child's perspective of a parent is often very different from that of the other parent.

And I understand.

My daddy was my hero. Still is in a lot of ways. Was he flawed? Absolutely. Do I wish some things had happened differently? Undoubtedly so. But did I learn from him? Of course. Do I miss him? Daily.

He wasn't perfect and I know things weren't always easy for my mom. My sister and I had our share of tough situations as well.

But perspective, in our personal lives, is really much like that of an artist. What do we want to emphasize? What items (traits, memories, characteristics) do we paint in our foreground? What view do we want to give our viewer?

I can make the choice of what I remember and how much emphasis those memories get. Where I want to put things in my picture.

I define the view.

Likewise, I can try to paint a picture of myself to help others see what I want them to see. Or at least see the person I want to be.

Because my perspective of me is always changing. I'm always trying to do better. To BE better. Trying to live my life in such a way that I will be missed - someday. Hopefully a very long time from now.

I don't know that I ever want to be anyone's "hero", but it won't hurt if I try to live as if I do.

Give everyone a good perspective.